"Britt?" Jude uttered softly.
I fell to my knees beside him. Sweat bathed his face, and his bloodshot eyes darted wildly around.
"Where is he? where's Calvin?"
"In the trees on the other side of Idlewilde. I saw the bursts of light from his gunfire. It's too dark for him to see us. He'll have to get a lot closer if he wants a clear shot."
"If he's smart, he'll come for us now. He can't see us, but we can't see him either. It gives him the perfect opportunity to sneak up and take us by surprise." Jude thought only a moment. "You said there's a cabin a mile away. Go to it-"
"I'm not leaving you alone."
He stared at me. Alarmed, he pushed himself up to sitting. "Of course you're leaving. This is your chance. It's not a great one, I'll give you that, but it's the best one you're going to get. The longer we wait, the greater the likelihood Calvin will get close enough to take a shot, or take you from me."
Without thinking, I grabbed him and kissed him.
He'd hunched his good shoulder against the cold, or maybe to battle the pain, but I felt him loosen at my touch. I expected him to try to push me away, to try to talk reason into me, but he needed me as much as I needed him. We were facing death; that was the cold hard truth. Down to the final minutes, we weren't going to waste them. This wasn't about desire. It was hot, urgent need. A reaffirmation of life. Jude gathered me roughly against him. If I was making his injury worse, he didn't seem to care. He kissed me back hungrily. We were alive. Never more so than in the face of death.
"I'm sorry I didn't believe you,” I choked out. "I was wrong. I made a huge mistake. I believe you now. I trust you, Jude."
Relief shone in his eyes. "You're sure I can't talk you into running to that cabin?" he asked, pressing his forehead against mine He panted softly, but I didn't think from pain. He seemed jolted back to life, seemed to be rallying to the fight. There was a determination in his expression that no amount of pain could hold back.
I shook my head no, short of breath myself. His kiss had worked like a shot of adrenaline. If I was scared, it was outweighed by a reason to live. And that reason was looking me straight in the eyes.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
"Calvin won't kill me until I've told him where the map is,” Jude mused coldly. "He thinks he has to find it before a park ranger, or someone in law enforcement, does."
"Where is the map?"
"When I came back from hunting this morning and found you gone, I knew you'd hiked to Idlewilde. I knew Calvin was a killer and I had to get to you as soon as possible. I didn't have time to hike to the ranger station and leave the map there. So I left the map under our tree. I bluffed to Calvin. No one will find the map without help. And even if they do, they won't know what it reveals. They're just as likely to throw it away as turn it over to a park ranger. But I'm not going to let Calvin believe that's a possibility. We have to make sure he feels the threat of being found out. Britt, I'm going to see to it that you get out of here alive. You’ll have to show the police where the map is."
"We're both getting out of here alive,” I corrected him firmly.
"Calvin could shoot you, to eliminate you as a witness,” Jude continued without answering me, "but I don't think he will. You’re his last bargaining chip-if you're killed, he knows I won't give up the map. His plan is the same as before. To use you to try to force me into talking. Which is why we're staying together and going after him. We’ll try to catch him from behind, and I'll disarm him. After that, it's just a matter of holding him until we can turn him over to the police."
"What if he catches us from behind?"
Jude merely glanced at me, but I knew the answer. We had a fifty-fifty shot, at best, of taking Calvin down.
Jude gave me a rough kiss. I felt warm and reassured as he held me tightly, and I wished he'd never let go. I wished we could stay here, holding each other, and somehow it would be enough.
"We don't have to go after Calvin,” I suggested softly. "We can hike to the cabin down the road and call the police. It's the safer thing to do."
"He killed my sister,” Jude said. "I'm not running. I'm bringing him to justice. Give me the gun."
The dark shadows brewing at the back of his eyes worried me. I touched his sleeve. "Jude, promise me something. Promise me you won't kill him."
His eyes cut sharply to mine. "I've spent the last year driven by the idea of killing him."
"He doesn't deserve to die." I wasn't in love with Calvin anymore. But I'd known him my whole life. I'd seen the good and the bad. It was too late to help him, but I didn't want to destroy him either. He was Korbie's brother. My first love. There was too much history.
But most importantly, I didn't want Jude to become like Calvin. A killer.
"He deserves worse,” Jude said.
"He thought killing was the answer. I want to prove there's another way."
"You're asking me to let the man who brutally murdered my sister live,” he said tightly.
"He'll be in prison. For a long time. When you think about it, that's not really a life. please promise me."
"I won't kill him,” he said darkly at last. "For you I won't. But I want to."
I handed him the gun, hoping I wasn't making a mistake.
Jude checked that the gun was loaded. "When this is over, I'm going to give Lauren a proper burial. With family and loved ones. She deserves that."
I dropped my eyes to the ground. "The dead body in the storage room. The girl was wearing a black cocktail dress. She was Lauren, wasn't she?"
Tears glistened in Jude's eyes. He gazed up at the black sky, blinking them dry. He had known it was her from the moment I'd told him I'd found the body, but it was only now that his shoulders trembled and his breathing quickened. He'd kept his grief bottled up, because he'd needed to stay strong. For me. He couldn't have protected me if he'd been focused on her.
"She's forgiven you, Jude. You have to believe that. She chose to go drinking. She chose to leave with Shaun. What happened to her after that is inexcusable and horrific, and I'm not saying she deserved to be killed, because she absolutely didn't-no one deserves that-but at some point, she had to stop relying on you to save her, and learn to save herself." I spoke from the depths of my heart. In more ways than I could ever express to Jude. It had taken being with him to see how dependent I was on my dad, Ian, and Calvin. Jude had helped me see that I needed to change. He'd been with me as I took those first scary steps. And now it was up to me what I did with this newfound strength and independence.