“What are some of the questions?”
“When I am angry, I tend to:
a. Hold my feelings inside until I can’t hold them in any longer.
b. Immediately strike out verbally or physically.
c. Identify the cause, then take steps to direct or manage my anger by using it in a constructive way.”
“That’s it?” she said. “That’s all the choices? What if you want to say ‘all of the above, depending on the situation’?”
Delbert got a box of a doggy snacks and ambled out of the room. A few seconds later, Booker heard him trying to get Bruiser to roll over and play dead. “There is no ‘all of the above.’ So what do you think? ‘B’ might give my instructor some validation.”
“‘B’ might get you held back.”
“Some teachers are looking for growth.”
“You want him to think you’re homicidal?”
“He already does. The class is court-mandated, remember?”
She hesitated. “Okay. ‘B.”’
He marked it before reading the next question.
“How do you feel when you’re angry?
a. Powerless
b. Worthless
c. Unappreciated
d. Justified.”
“Powerless,” Rebecca said decisively.
“Powerless?” he repeated.
“Yes! I hate that I can’t control my own situation.”
She was talking about babies, of course. Unless her body finally cooperated, there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about getting what she wanted. And she’d already mentioned, two weeks ago, that Josh was only willing to keep trying for one more month.
“I don’t feel powerless,” he said.
“How do you feel?”
“When I’m angry, I’m angry. It’s not complicated.”
“Then put ‘powerless’ for me.”
“Okay.”
They answered eight more questions and Booker turned to the next section, “Ways to Alleviate Anger.”
“What suggestions does it give?” Rebecca asked when he’d read the title aloud.
“When you’re feeling angry, try sitting down and answering the following questions:
How am I feeling?
Why am I angry?
Who am I angry with?
How can I better approach the problem than to—”
Rebecca made a noise of impatience. “You’re supposed to do this before you explode?”
“That’s what it says.”
“But if you had enough control to sit down and analyze your feelings…”
“No kidding.”
“I hope this course gets better.”
And she hadn’t even met Mr. Boyle. “So do I.” He paused, eager to get to the part of the conversation he’d been waiting for. “So?”
“So what?” she said.
“Are you going to give me an update?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Booker slid low and rested his head on the top slat of his chair. “Yes, you do.”
“You want to hear about Katie?”
“Who else?”
“It’s the first time you’ve ever come right out and asked me.”
He stared at the ceiling, remembering as he did so often those tense minutes when he was delivering Katie’s baby. That experience was the most frightening of his life—except coming face-to-face, five years ago, with what he’d be if he didn’t change.
He sighed. The baby’s birth might have scared the hell out of him, but it was also the closest thing to a miracle Booker had ever experienced, and he knew he’d never forget it. “How is she?”
“Good. Once she got out of the hospital, she stayed in a motel in Boise so she could continue to nurse the baby, since he couldn’t come home yet. But they’ve released Troy now, and they’re both at the ranch.”
Troy. Booker smiled at the name. “That’s good.”
“I stopped by with a few baby things.”
“Does Katie need anything else?”
“I don’t think so. Delaney and I took her a bassinet and some cute little clothes. Delaney even made her a baby quilt. And her mother bought her a baby tub and a rocker, as well as a car seat.”
“So her mother’s still helping her?”
“Yeah. I saw them in town yesterday. Tami was holding Troy.”
Sitting up, he doodled in the margins of his questionnaire. “Did Mike ever get Katie’s computer back?”
“No. He’s going to lend Katie a computer until she can afford one of her own.”
“I’ve been over to Andy’s cousins’ house half a dozen times, but they always tell me the same thing—Andy’s gone.”
“He must’ve headed back to San Francisco. I know if you were looking for me the way you’ve been beating the bushes for him, I’d hightail it out of here.”
He chuckled. “No one could scare you off.”
“Well, no one’s seen Andy. Did I tell you Katie’s going to start working at Hair and Now tomorrow? She doesn’t know it yet, but we’re giving her a baby shower in a couple of weeks.”
“Who’s going to watch the baby while she works?”
“I told her she could bring him with her, but I think her mother’s planning to take care of him for the first few weeks.”
“Sounds like she’s patched things up with her parents.”
“From what Katie told me, relations are still strained between her and her father, so Tami’s agreed to watch Troy out at the cabin.”
Booker pictured Katie holding her newborn in the hospital. He could recall the scent of the baby so vividly…. “That’s convenient.”
“Yeah.”
“Is she still seeing Mike?”
“They’re just friends.”
“You said he was interested in more.”
“He is, but she’s not responding.”
Booker dropped his pen and shoved the questionnaire away. “She grew up wanting to marry him.”
“Maybe things have changed.”
“Or she’s waiting until the baby’s older.”
A knock sounded on the front door. “Hang on. Someone’s here.”
“I’ve got to go,” Rebecca said. “Josh is getting impatient. Just call me tomorrow.”
“Okay.” He hung up and walked into the living room, but Delbert answered the door before he could reach it. “Booker,” he called, “it’s Officer Orton!”