There was a lengthy pause during which he grabbed his landline and dialed Ava. If only she could hear Kalyna. If only someone could hear this...
Never had it seemed to take so long for a connection to go through, but eventually her phone started ringing.
"Money?" Kalyna repeated. "Do you think I'm stupid? You're not going to get off that easily."
"Why not? You have to want something," he said, "or you wouldn't be doing this."
Answer, damn it. Answer the phone. He'd been in such a hurry, he wasn't sure if he'd written down the number correctly. When he got a voice-mail response at The Last Stand, he realized he'd called the office instead of her cell, and it was asking him for an extension, which he didn't have.
Son of a bitch!
"You're nothing but a selfish bastard, you know that?" Kalyna was saying.
"Maybe that would upset me if it wasn't coming from a deranged, vindictive bitch." He knew he shouldn't let her incite him, that it would only make matters worse. But he was so focused on trying to get the right number, he wasn't completely sure of what he was saying. Nothing he said or did seemed to improve the situation, anyway.
"You're going to pay for that," she said.
He ignored the threat. "If you don't want to work this out, why are you calling?" he asked. "To gloat? To rub my nose in the fact that I can't work because of you? That I have to worry about how this is reflecting on my parents, who don't deserve the humiliation? That I have to suffer strange glances from my female friends, knowing that they're wondering if I'm dangerous--if I'd hurt them if we were ever alone?"
While he talked, he listened to Ava's message with one ear. Now he had the right number.
"That's what you're worried about?" Kalyna screeched. "How this looks to other women? "
How had she isolated that from everything else he'd said? "I want my life back!" he shouted.
"Well, you can forget it! You're obviously not ready."
Dial, come on. He was trying to go too fast. As a result he'd made a mistake and had to hang up, start again. Damn it! "For what? " he said, trying to keep her talking.
"You'l see. You'l come crawling to me on your hands and knees before I'm done with you, Luke Trussell," she said. And then she was gone.
Ava's cell phone was finally ringing, but it was too late. Calling her now would prove nothing.
With a curse, Luke slumped onto the couch and hung up.
Chapter 12
"Why are you stil awake?" Tati mumbled, yawning loudly.
Kalyna felt the pressure of Luke's watch against her, held tightly to her body by her underwear. But the excitement of placing it in such a sensitive spot had long since disappeared.
"Kalyna?" Tati persisted.
She'd just returned to the bedroom, after calling Luke from the bathroom, and sat on the floor, rocking back and forth. "I can't sleep."
Her sister punched her pil ow but sounded just as drowsy as before.
"What's wrong?"
Kalyna dug her nails into her palms so deeply that she almost drew blood. But it wasn't enough. She needed to do more, do something to punish herself for being so stupid. So she'd remember. So she'd learn.
It's my fault. I blew it. I called him too soon because I couldn't wait.
I'm so stupid. She forced her nails deeper. I'm so stupid!
"Kalyna!"
It took her a moment to realize that her sister had called her name yet again. "What? What do you want?"
The snarl in her response made Tati hesitate. "Can't you go to bed?
I'd like to get some sleep. I have to work in the morning."
Jumping to her feet, she whirled on her sister. "Sorry if I'm keeping you up. I wouldn't want to inconvenience you just because I'm dying inside!"
Tati propped up her head. "Dying inside? Kalyna, what are you talking about?"
"Never mind. You don't care."
"Of course I care," her sister said, but her carefully engineered tolerance grated on Kalyna's nerves.
"No, you don't. You've been mad at me all night, ever since I asked you to talk to my caseworker. Don't try and pretend otherwise."
"I haven't been mad. It's just--" She blew out a long sigh. "Kalyna, I don't agree with some of the things you do. And I don't like getting dragged into them. Surely you can understand that."
"You'd rather take Mom and Dad's side? You make me sick! You're as much of a weakling now as when we were kids!"
Tatiana didn't answer right away. When she did, her voice was barely audible. "Whatever you think of me, I'd rather not lie for you again."
"When did I make you lie? Mom was horrible to us while we were growing up. Have you forgotten, Tati? Have you forgotten how she shut us in the cooler for hours at a time? How she'd tell us the dead bodies in there were zombies that were going to come to life and eat us for being bad little girls?"
"There were those times," Tati conceded. "But they didn't happen often. And there were decent times, too. She kept us and fed us and took care of us. That's more than our birth mother did, or Mrs. Robertson, either.
Aren't you the least bit grateful?"
Kalyna couldn't believe Tati had used that word in association with the Harters. "Grateful?" she echoed. "Did you just say grateful? She used us to work in this damn mortuary so she wouldn't have to. So Dad would have someone to help him because she couldn't stomach the thought of death. So she could lie in bed all day, mourning her poor little Robert."
"She lost a child, Kalyna."
"We were children, too!"
"It could've been worse."
"And it could've been a lot better. If she'd cared half as much about us as she did Robert."
"It wasn't al her. Let's face it, Kalyna, you provoked her. You did anything and everything you could to torment and upset her."
Kalyna started laughing. "Because I hated them both from the beginning."
"See? Why? It wasn't their fault our real mom gave us up!"
"Don't talk about our birth mother! As far as I'm concerned she doesn't even exist."
"I'm just saying Mom had her own issues to deal with. And things are better now, a lot better."
"For you! And that's all you care about. I don't mean anything to you anymore."
"That's not true."
"Yes, it is." She stalked closer. "You've changed. You're not the sister I knew, the sister I grew up with."
Tati didn't move. "Would you stop saying that? I'm trying to put the past behind me, Kalyna, and make peace with who I am and where I come from. And I'm trying to plan where I'm going. I'm happy for the first time in years. Is that so bad?"