“No.” She shook her head and looked away from me.
“You totally knew that movie was sexy.” I laughed. “You tried to seduce me.”
“I didn’t try to seduce you.” She made a face at me and groaned.
“Clementine, tell me the truth and I’ll go with you tomorrow.”
“Fine.” She buried her face in my chest. “Yes, I had heard that that movie was sexy and yes, I kinda wanted to know what it was like for a guy to go down on me. And yes, I wanted that guy to be you. After you told me about it the other night, I’ve been thinking about it.” She paused. “I’m so embarrassed.”
“Don’t be embarrassed.” I pulled her towards me and kissed her. “I think that’s awesome.” I held her close to me and closed my eyes. One part of me felt like I was soaring high and the other part of me felt like I was about to make one wrong step and trip down into hell.
Chapter Ten
“Hey, hey, hey.” Clementine sang along to the radio as I drove down the highway on the way to Beaufort.
“You think you want me to drive you to the American Idol auditions instead?” I smiled at her as she continued singing at the top of her voice. She grinned back at me and I tried not to wince as she pulled her phone out of her pocket. Every time her phone rang or she got a text, I was scared it was going to be from Penelope. Not that I thought I was completely in the wrong. It’s not like Clementine and I were official or I did anything to break her trust, but I just didn’t know how she’d react. I knew deep inside that what I’d done was a bit shady.
“Well you know. I don’t want Simon to fall in love with me and take me away from you.” She giggled and I shook my head.
“I hope you wouldn’t leave me for Simon.”
“Ugh.” She looked at her phone and changed the subject.
“What’s wrong?” I gave her a quick glance and saw she was making a face at the phone.
“Elliott wants to talk about what happened.” She sighed. “He says he owes me an apology.”
“Ignore.” I shook my head. “He’s so predictable.”
“Yeah.” She sounded hesitant. “Are you excited about seeing your mom?”
“I wouldn’t say excited, no.” My tone changed and I felt my heart harden. “You know I don’t want to see her.”
“She’s your mom, Rhett.” Her voice was soft as she touched my arm lightly.
“So?”
“You’ll regret it if you never see her.”
“I don’t agree.” I turned the radio up and stared at the road in front of me. I wasn’t sure why I’d agreed to come to Beaufort to see my mom. I hadn’t even know she’d lived so close. I didn’t even know how Clementine knew. I didn’t care. I didn’t want to care. I was so annoyed that she had talked me into coming. I knew I had only agreed because I was still feeling high from my orgasm. Only thing was, I didn’t want to think about the orgasm either. I didn’t want to think about touching Clementine. I was ashamed that I’d touched her and enjoyed it, knowing I could never give her what she wanted.
“Rhett.” She reached over and turned the volume down. “You can’t ignore her for the rest of your life.”
“She’s never contacted me.” I spat out bitterly. “Not once since she left. No cards. No presents. No visits. No nothing. Why should I care about her?”
“Maybe she had her reasons.”
“Maybe she did. I don’t care.” I sighed and reached to turn the volume back up, but Clementine grabbed my hand and stopped me. Her fingers felt warm on me and I cringed and pulled my hand away. I didn’t want her touching me, trying to make me think things I didn’t want to think.
“I’m sorry.” Her voice sounded hurt and I just kept my eyes forward. “You can turn the radio back up if you want to.”
“It’s fine. We can keep it off.” I shrugged and swallowed. “You’re going to have to give me directions in a bit. I have no idea where we’re going.”
“I put it in the GPS on my phone.” She sighed. “Let me check.”
“Fine.” I mumbled.
“Okay, when we exit, we need to take the first right.”
“Fine.” I ignored the sudden lurch in my stomach as I realized that I was close to seeing my mom again. What would she look like? Would she recognize me? Would she cry or try to hug me? I shuddered as I thought about her touching me. I’d step away. I wouldn’t want her to touch me. Not at all. “My dad would be surprised to know I was going.” I laughed bitterly.
“He should have handled everything differently.” She spoke softly. “He cheated on her and then kicked her out. He knew she had a problem with alcohol. He could have handled things differently.”
“So it’s his fault that my mom is a drunk.”
“She’s not a drunk anymore.” She sighed.
“So now you’re on her side.”
“I’m not on her side. I just understand how devastating it must have been for her to find out her husband had been cheating on her.”
“It happens.” I rolled my eyes. “Everyone who gets cheated on doesn’t turn to alcohol or drugs.”
“Heartbreak is a hard thing for some people to deal with.”
“Sex is sex. It has nothing to do with love.”
“Some people only have sex with people they love.”
“That’s what they tell themselves so they don’t feel guilty. People have sex because it feels good. They want to have an orgasm. They want to fly high for a couple of minutes.”
“Sex means more than that, Rhett.” Her voice was soft and I could tell she was feeling annoyed.
“Sex is sticking a dick in a vagina.” I said bluntly. “And whatever lesbians and g*ys do.”
“Rhett.” She sighed.
“Don’t tell me, you need me to tell you what they do?”
“No. I don’t.” Her words were abrupt and I knew she was getting angry.
“Just don’t get it twisted, Clementine. Sex doesn’t equal love. Shit, half the guys I know at school would f**k any girl that would have them.”
“Thanks.” She muttered.
“Don’t act like you’re surprised.” I sighed. “And don’t act pissed. I didn’t f**k you because I know you need it to be all special and shit.”