“You’re a strong woman.” He took my hand in his. “I’m so sorry about your parents.”
“And they died in a car crash, by the way.” I sighed. “They were driving to Miami to see me. They wanted to surprise me for my birthday. I was surprised all right.”
“It wasn’t your fault.” Zane looked at me in concern.
“It was a semi-truck.” I wrinkled my nose. “The driver was texting and cut across the interstate. The police told me they died instantly. That gives me some peace of mind that they weren’t in pain.”
“How long ago was this?”
“About a year and two months ago.” I bit my lip. I had been devastated, unable to function. And when Justin had dumped me, I had felt like my world was caving in on me. I had thought that I would never escape the pain that consumed me and kept me in my bed for days. And I had vowed that I would never again give myself to a man who didn’t truly love me and want me. My heart, body, and soul was too precious to give away lightly. But at least I was still open for love, I thought to myself. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be so crushed that love would never be an option in my life. I couldn’t imagine what amount of pain would make someone never want to feel love ever again. Or maybe the problem was that he had never really experienced love. Maybe he didn’t know what he was missing.
“That was pretty recent.” He paused. “I guess we’ve both been through the ringer and back.”
“I guess so.”
“You’re a special girl, Lucky. I know I’ve told you that before but I want you to understand how much I mean it. I’ve never really met anyone like you before.”
“You don’t really know me.” I laughed, slightly delirious and uncomfortable at his words.
“I’ve watched you for months in the restaurant.” He smiled. “You are always happy, always friendly. I’ve heard you talking with your co-workers, giving them advice, taking shifts. You’ve always been pleasant when you’ve seen me, even though I take a different girl in there every week.”
“I understand why now.”
“No, no you don’t.” He frowned. “But that’s okay. You don’t need to know.”
“Okay.” I pulled my hand away from him. I was hurt by his words. It seemed to be a one-way street with him. I was always open with my feelings and thoughts, but he always seemed to have something to hold back. I wanted him to tell me about Noah, I wanted him to open up about the things he tried so hard to keep inside. But I didn’t want to force him. I wanted him to want to tell me those things. My heart hurt slightly as I sat there. I was falling for Zane Beaumont and I knew there was no way we could ever have a happy ending.
“Lucky, I may not be Mr. Wonderful and I can’t give you everything you deserve in a boyfriend, but I can be your friend. I want to be your friend.” He took a deep breath and his eyes looked so serious that I felt my body tremble at the intensity of his words. “I think we have a special connection, you and I. And yes, I’m attracted like hell to you, and yes, I want to make sweet love to you, but it’s more than that. I want to be here for you. I can’t give you my heart and I don’t want yours, but I want to be there for you. In as many ways as you will let me.”
As he stopped talking, I felt my heartbeat racing faster and faster, as if it were trying out for a position in a Formula One racing team. I wasn’t sure how to respond to him. One part of me wanted to reach over and kiss him and tell him that I never wanted to let him go, but another part of me was cognizant of the fact that he had clearly told me that I would never have his heart and that he didn’t want me to fall in love with him either. There was no future in a relationship between the two of us. After everything I had been through, I didn’t know if I could survive being in a relationship with Zane that would never go anywhere. But he’s never known love, a little birdie whispered in my ear. Maybe if you show him what it means to be in love, maybe then he’ll change his mind.
“Did I scare you, Lucky?” Zane looked at me with worry in his eyes, and I shook my head.
“No. I’m just thinking.”
“Not about being my sub again? Do I have to buy a paddle to get an answer out of you?” He joked at me with twinkling eyes and I burst out laughing.
“You better not buy a paddle. I don’t think my behind could take it.”
“Just my hand then?” He winked and I lightly slapped his arm.
“I’m not really sure what you are asking of me.” I spoke lightly, unsure of myself.
“I don’t really know either.” He sighed. “I guess I just want to see what happens?”
“Won’t it be weird? Me working for you, living with you, and kind of seeing you?”
“Only if we let it be weird.”
“I guess.” I bit my lip. I wanted to ask him about the other girls, but I was scared. It wasn’t like he was asking to be my boyfriend. But I had to know. “Will we be dating other people?”
“I can’t answer that for you.” He rubbed his face. “However, if you are sleeping in my bed. I will not stand for you to be f**king another man.”
“Zane.” I looked around the airplane, mortified that someone may have heard his crude language.
“I don’t share.” He spoke softer this time. “I want your body all to myself.”
“So you think you’re going to have my body?”
“Only if you want me to.”
“Okay.” I laughed at the look on Zane’s face as he heard my response.
“Just okay? No yes or no?”
“I have to think about it.” I smiled. “Now, can I watch my movie?”
“I suppose, seeing as it’s been a long day, you can watch your movie.”
“Why thank you, kind sir, I do appreciate it.” I spoke in my Southern accent again.
“I’m glad you find it agreeable, ma’am.” Zane laughed and leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. “A man, such as myself, likes a woman to be soft and pliant.” He whispered in my ear, and before I could respond indignantly, he was kissing me. I kissed him back, passionately and closed my eyes. I could get used to these moments, I thought.
Chapter 9
“Welcome to Los Angeles.” Zane grinned at me as he pulled into a parking space.
“I can’t believe you let me sleep the drive away. I didn’t see a thing.” I yawned as I stretched in my seat.