“Are you telling me I shouldn’t trust you?”
“I’m telling you that you shouldn’t trust anyone else too easily.”
“But trusting you is fine, right?”
“I’m looking after your best interests.”
“Why?” I questioned him.
“I feel like we’ve developed a friendship these last few months.”
“Really?” I laughed. “Was this before or after I presented you with your entrees?”
“It was somewhere between soup and salad.”
“Aw, now I know why you always gave me big tips. You were making sure your friend made a good wage.”
“Well you know. That’s what friends are for.” He laughed. “But in all seriousness, you’ll be staying with me, at my condo.”
“Oh okay.”
“I hope that’s okay. I’ll be able to make sure you stay out of trouble.”
“I’m not a kid, Zane.” I sighed. “I don’t need another dad.”
“You’re my responsibility Lucky. It will make me feel better. Humor me. Okay?”
“I guess. But I’ll have you know, I’m 22, not 12.”
“A 22 year old that makes bad mistakes.”
I rolled my eyes and turned away from him. Zane obviously had some sort of protector complex. I doubted that I would be able to talk him out of it. “Does Noah live there in the condo as well?”
“No.” He frowned and put his earphones on.
Well okay then, I thought to myself. I guess I still wasn’t going to find out about Noah. I didn’t understand what the big deal was, but I knew I didn’t want to push the issue. I hoped that Zane would tell me himself when he was ready. I put my earphones on as well, and flicked through the channels. I couldn’t quite believe that I was on a plane to Los Angeles. The day had seemed to fly by. After my shower, Zane and I had told my roommates that I was leaving and then we had dropped by Lou’s Burger Joint. Shayla’s and Maria’s jaws had dropped when I walked in with Zane. I still didn’t think that they believed me when I had told them we were not going on some sex-fuelled vacation. I laughed, thinking about Shayla’s expression when I told her I was withdrawing from my classes and going to LA. She had taken me to the side and told me that I could come back to Lou’s whenever I wanted. I had given her a big hug and held back a sob. Shayla was like my family. I was going to miss her and Mike a lot.
I felt Zane tap me on the shoulder and I turned to look at him with a questioning expression. “How did your parents die?” He asked me softly.
“I, what?”
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want.” He smiled at me gently. “My mother left my brother and me when we were young.” He scratched his ear. “It’s still hard to talk about.”
“Your mother left you?” I pulled my earphones out and turned to him.
“Well she left my father, she wanted to spite him. My brother and I were just the dregs at the bottom of the barrel.”
“Oh I’m sorry.” I reached out to touch his hand. “That must have been tough.”
“It made Noah and me closer.” He paused. “We were young. I was six and Noah was four.”
“Oh wow.” I felt tears welling up in my eyes at the thought of Zane being abandoned as a child.
“I still remember her.” He stared into my eyes. “She had blonde hair that was almost white. You wouldn’t know if looked at me. But Noah, he had the same white blond hair. It made my father hate him even more. Because he reminded him of her. We both have her eyes.”
“She must have been beautiful.”
“She was.” He avoided eye contact with me. “Too beautiful for my dad really. She was young when she married him. Got caught up in the lifestyle.”
“Did she marry him for money?” I asked softly.
“No.” He laughed at my surprised expression. “You would have thought so right? What woman leaves her husband and two young children if she loved them.”
“Why did she leave?”
“I don’t really know.” He paused and finished his drink. “My dad never said and she never contacted us.”
“Do you know where she is now?”
“No.” He shook his head. “Noah and I used to say that while the sun shines and the moon glows, we don’t need anyone else in our lives.”
“That’s sad.” I frowned. “And I don’t think it’s too healthy either.” I started to realize that his mother’s abandonment must have been the biggest reason for his resistance to relationships. “Everyone isn’t like your mom.”
“Maybe not.” He reached over and ran his hands over my hair. “But love, lust, whatever it is, it’s not enough. All it does is lead to heartbreak.”
“I don’t believe that.” I frowned, my heart aching for him. “Not all love leads to heartbreak.”
“Didn’t your parents’ deaths break your heart?”
“Well, of course. But it wasn’t their fault.”
“But don’t you get it?” He shook his hands. “It doesn’t have to be on purpose, it will still break your heart. Love will tear you apart from limb to limb.”
“So you’d rather not love?”
“I weigh the odds. I’d rather have fun and an enjoyable life, than to fall deeply in love with someone and have my heart pulled out of my body.”
“You don’t know if your heart will be pulled out of your body, as you so eloquently stated.”
“I’m pretty sure love equals pain.”
“My parents loved each other and me with all their hearts until the day they died. And every day I miss them with all my heart. I miss my mom making me spaghetti and meatballs when she sensed I had a bad day. I miss my dad taking me to the library every Saturday morning to choose five library books. I miss his goofy grins when I would choose a Sweet Valley Twins book. I miss going to Pizza Hut and ordering three personal pan pizzas, because none of us could agree on what toppings we wanted. I miss my dad grabbing my mom’s hand and sneaking kisses when he thought I wasn’t looking. I miss them being proud of me and loving me. And every single night, it hurts when I think of them. It hurts when I go to bed and I know I’m going to wake up the next morning and they still won’t be around. It hurts every time I want to call them, or email them, or go home for the holidays. But I wouldn’t give up one second of those memories to eradicate the pain that I feel every day. It hurts and it burns, but my love for them still lives on.” I blinked away tears as I took a breath and I knew that he could see the pain in my eyes.