“You need to leave, Riley.” I pushed her away from me. My arms were on fire where she touched me. All of a sudden, all I could think about was the night on the beach—the night I took her virginity. I could see her face as she purred up at me in pleasure. I could feel her supple br**sts in my hand. I looked at her angrily as the feelings came back. “Get out of here!” I shouted at her and watched as she flinched.
“I’m not leaving.” She shook her head and stared at me. “You can’t make me.”
“You guys know each other?” Channing looked back and forth at us and then smiled an evil little smile. “That makes sense of course. It makes perfect sense.”
“I don’t know him.” Riley looked at me for a second and shook her head. I felt empty at her words.
“Riley, I’m...” I stopped and looked away from her. I didn’t know how to say the words.
I wanted to tell her that I was sorry, but that would mean I’d have to acknowledge everything that had happened. I didn’t want to even think about it. I was scared that if I went back down that road, old feelings would resurface. Feelings that I’d kept under wraps for the last four years. Riley was someone who couldn’t be in my life anymore. Not now that I had other responsibilities. I owed it to Clara.
“So, Riley, we’re all going to a camping trip next weekend because Nick wants us to bond. I was hoping you could come. What do you think?” Channing’s voice was smooth as he invited Riley on the trip, and I held my breath, hoping she would say no. She had to say no.
“That sounds good. Thank you.” Her voice was sweet and innocent, and I saw her quickly glance at me to see my reaction.
I ignored her stare and looked at Channing. He was pushing his tongue in and out, and I grabbed Riley by the arm and pulled her out of the room with me.
“What are you doing?” she cried out in surprise, but I ignored her and pulled her into the parking lot with me.
“What are you playing at, Riley?” I growled down at her, staring into her wide brown eyes.
“I’m not playing at anything.” She shook her head and paused. “I’m surprised you know me now though.”
“What?” I frowned as she trembled in my arms.
“You ignored me the other day.” She took a deep breath, and I could see tears in her eyes.
“Don’t cry, Riley.” I felt my heart breaking as I stared at her, and I pushed all the doubts out of my mind and leaned down to kiss her.
I couldn’t stop myself from tasting her lips again. I knew it was wrong. I knew I was going to pay, but I just couldn’t stop myself. I needed to hold her in my arms again, if only to remember everything I had lost due to my sinful ways.
Chapter 10
Riley
Present Day
The world has ended. That’s all I could think as Hudson kissed me. I was confused to feel his lips on mine. It was something I had never expected to feel again. There was nothing gentle about his embrace as his lips crushed down on mine.
“What are you doing?” I reluctantly pulled away from him. “What’s going on, Hudson?”
“I told you that you need to leave.”
“So you know me now?” I gazed into his eyes, and he took a step back and looked away.
“I’m sorry about the other day.” He sighed.
“Why were you fighting Channing?”
“That’s why I’m here, right? To fight.”
“That looked like a real fight.”
“They are all real. This isn’t fake fighting.”
“I know it’s not fake, but that didn’t look like you were fighting for the championship.”
“It’s none of your business.”
“Of course not.” I rolled my eyes, hurt at his words.
“Why are you here, Riley?”
“I’m writing an article.”
“You shouldn’t be here.”
“Why? Because I’m a girl?”
“This is not the place for someone like you.”
“Someone like me?” I could feel the tears building up in my eyes again. I didn’t understand why he was being like this.
Where had my Hudson gone? This man in front of me was hateful and cold—something I’d never expected from him.
“Please don’t cry.” He stared at me with pained eyes and pulled me towards him. “I can’t stand it when you cry, Riley.”
“I’m not crying.” I shook my head and turned my face away from him. I felt his fingers on my cheeks wiping away my tears. “Don’t.” I looked at him angrily. “Don’t touch me.”
“I’m sorry.” He shook his head as his fingers moved to my lips, tracking them gently. “I’m sorry.” He bent down again and kissed me.
This time, his lips were soft and searching. He kissed me as if he were looking for something, and I kissed him back urgently. My hands found their way to his head and my fingers played with his hair as his tongue entered my mouth. I sucked on it eagerly, as if our deepening kiss would somehow fix everything. I felt his hands on my back, then on my stomach. His fingers caressed me. His touch made me feel alive.
Then his fingers made their way up to my br**sts. At first, he was timid, but then it was as if something in him had snapped. His fingers squeezed my br**sts eagerly and roughly as his tongue wrestled with mine. I could feel his breathing grow heavier. My own heart was beating fast, and I pressed myself against him. This was what I had been missing. This was what felt so right. This was where I belonged.
“No,” he gasped as my fingers ran down his chest and he pulled away. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want this to happen. This can’t happen again, Riley.”
“I’m sorry.” I looked down, ashamed of myself.
“It’s not your fault.”
“Don’t hate me, Hudson.” I looked into his eyes, trying to convey all of my emotions in one glance. “I’m sorry about what happened.” It was the first time I had told him sorry, and I felt as if I were in that moment once again.
“It’s not your fault. I’m the sinner, Riley. I’m the one who has to pay.” His eyes looked at me bleakly.
I could feel the pain running through his veins. I could see the guilt. I recognized the sleepless nights in the bags under his eyes, and I sensed the hopelessness in his voice. It was the same pain and hopelessness I felt. It was the same guilt I experienced every night when I went to bed. Only I was the one to blame.