The silence is so thick you could carve it with a knife. Lowering my hands, I swipe furiously at the tears. I reach out with a shaking hand to take the glass of water into my hands. I sip at it, wishing I could disappear into the darkness, but I know that’s not a choice.
Breathing in carefully, I stand as tall as I can and speak softly through an exhale, “I’m sorry for the trouble, Nik.” I remove the two-way from my side and badge from around my neck, placing them on the stool. “No need to fire me. I resign. Sorry for spoiling everyone’s night. I’m going home. Goodnight.”
Tina and Lola both plead, “Helena, no!” and “Stay!” while Nat orders, “Don’t you go anywhere. Not ‘til he apologizes!”
I turn and walk away with what dignity I have left before I hear Nat scream to who I’m sure is Nik, “You asshole!”
I half-expect that Max will come after me, but he doesn’t.
And once again, I’m left feeling how I felt when I first came to New York.
Completely and utterly alone.
***
Max
Immobilized by blind fury, I blink as I watch Helena walk away, head held high. I’ve never seen her look more beautiful, fat lip and all. But as she walks down the stairs, out of sight, my gut churns. I swallow hard knowing that this might be it. This might be where Helena realizes it’s too much work being with a man like me. But seeing her stand over Portia after she handed her ass to her, defending my baby girl…shit.
I think I’m falling in love, but I don’t remember it happening like this the first time round. Did love make a person feel like they’d hit the highest high and lowest low at the very same time? I never wanted this to happen. But knowing Helena as I do now, how could I have ever stopped it?
I should be used to people’s offensive and rude comments. But at least when it comes from children, they don’t know any better. When I hear adults using the word retard, it just makes me want to smack a bitch. My daughter is not slow or stupid. She is an exceptionally smart and able person, regardless of her injury.
Nik stands there, hands on his hips, looking down at the floor. I feel the guilt come off of him in waves. Nat yells at him. “You asshole!”
Tina gives Nat a pleading look. “Nat, stop.” She steps closer to him, placing a hand on his chest. “Honey, you didn’t know.” But he steps back. I’ve never seen him step away from Tina. Not ever.
He doesn’t look up. Instead, he takes the discarded badge and two-way, and makes his way to the door by the bar, leading to the office. He walks out, leaving us standing here. But he doesn’t get away that easily. I follow him.
Tina stops me by gripping my wrist. “Max, don’t, please. Just let him go.”
I look down at my sister-in-law and kiss her forehead in reassurance. “I’m not going to yell at him, Tina, even though he’d deserve it if I did. I just need to talk to him.”
I walk over to the door by the bar and scan my way in. I keep walking and don’t stop until I make it to Nik’s office. He sits at the desk in the throne he calls an office chair with his eyes closed, rubbing at his temple. I clear my throat and he raises his head, looking haggard. He looks to have aged ten years in ten minutes. He shakes his head and mutters roughly, “I fucked up.”
He looks as if he wants to say more, so I don’t bother speaking. Sometimes, all you need to do for someone to feel better is just listen. Sitting up, he stands and paces behind his desk. “I spoke to you the other day about how great your girl is, and I just tore her down. And I did it in front of everyone.” He puffs out a breath. “The fuck is wrong with me?”
I utter quietly, “No one’s perfect. People screw up.”
Nik laughs humorlessly. “Yeah, they do. I know that better than anyone, so what the fuck was that?” He groans. “Oh God, she’s gonna hate me.” Then he sighs dejectedly. “The one girl I like for you and I bully her to tears. And all she was doing was sticking up for my niece.”
“Helena’s surprising like that.”
Nik eyes me a moment before his brows narrow. “What? You’re not gonna tear me a new asshole?”
I lean against the doorframe. “You’re doing a good job of that yourself. Doesn’t look like you need help.”
He looks up at me, his eyes apologetic. “I’m sorry, man.”
I nod, knowing full-well he is, but say, “I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.”
He sits on the edge of his desk, head lowered. “I know.” He looks up at me and promises, “I’ll make it right. First thing.”
“Good.” I cock my thumb and point to the door. “You mind if I go save my ass from getting dumped?”
His lip tilts up at the side. “Sure thing.”
And with that, I walk out of the office and make my way to the parking lot.
***
Helena
“I’m fine. Just a little shaken up is all. I haven’t lost control like that ever,” I mutter into my cell phone as I walk into my apartment. My phone has been ringing off the hook since I left the club.
Nat sniffs. “Yeah, well, the whore got what was coming to her.” I agree, but I still made a mess of things, and I don’t know how to make it better.
I sent a quick text to Felicity when I left, claiming a sudden illness. She responded with, “You poor little whore! Get well soon. Love ya!”
Nat asks, “You want me to come over? We can watch movies and eat all the junk food.”
I chuckle. “All the junk food?”
She responds cheerily, “Yep. All of it!”
Smiling, I force a yawn. “Nah, I’m just going to have a shower and get into bed.” I ask cautiously, “How’s Max doing after all of that?”
She asks a surprised, “You haven’t talked to him?” She hesitates, and then replies, “He went to talk to Nik, but he never came back out of the office.” She adds an annoyed, “I’m not talking to Nik, by the way. Not until he apologizes to you.”
I sigh. “Don’t do that, please? For God’s sake, let’s just let it go and move on. I don’t want to think about it anymore.”
She pouts, “But he was so rude to you. I’ve never seen him be like that before. I can’t just get over it. Sorry, the only person who’s allowed to be rude to my sisters is me.”
Stupid Nat, making me laugh when I want to feel sorry for myself. I say lightly, “Whatever, ho. I’m getting into the shower now. Peace.”