Just as he hadn’t stopped himself from holding her hand while they were driving, he didn’t stop himself from kissing her now. Her mouth met his just as hungrily, her arms wrapping around his neck, her hands threading into his hair.
They’d kissed dozens of times before this—at least—but this kiss was different. He’d always known she wanted him, had always felt the strength of her desire for him. But now it was as if a lock had sprung open. Where it had almost been as if she was powerless to resist kissing him, now he got the strangest sense that she was kissing him for no other reason than because she wanted to.
When they finally came apart for air, she was smiling up at him. “I love kissing you, Gabe.”
His mouth was back on hers a second later and they were off onto round two. Only the loud sound of a horn caused them to remember that they were in the middle of a public parking lot near a huge white tent.
“Where are we?” she asked.
He grinned and held her hand tighter. “You’ll know soon.”
A few seconds later, her eyes grew big with pleasure. “I saw an ad for this circus last month, but I thought it was gone already.”
“It’s the last day. I was hoping you’d like my surprise.”
“Are you kidding?” She looked like Summer when she was excited. “I love the circus! Summer actually makes fun of me, says I’m more excited than the little kids are about the acrobats and animal tricks and flying trapeze. When I was little, I used to dream about running away with the circus. I was going to be the girl who amazed everyone by dancing on the elephant’s back.”
He had already bought two VIP tickets and they headed inside to their center ring seats, right in front of the action. He loved this side of Megan, when she forgot to hold herself back from him to protect herself, when she gave him a window into who she really was. Not just the great mother, not just the intelligent CPA...but a woman who thrived on thrills, on adrenaline, on excitement.
Just as much as he did.
When he bought them popcorn and cotton candy and caramel coated peanuts, she said, “If Summer finds out we ate this stuff, she’s going to read me the riot act.”
Gabe grinned. “Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around? Aren’t you supposed to be the one telling her to stay away from junk food?”
“They’re learning about nutrition in second grade. If you’re wondering, this—” She held up a big wad of pink cotton candy. “—is not growing food.”
He laughed. “I loved seeing Summer at the station.” He didn’t want to pressure Megan, knew she still needed time to work things out about them, but she had to know. “I’ve missed her.”
Megan’s eyes softened. “She missed you, too. Actually, Gabe, I’ve been thinking—”
Before she could say anything more, the crowd lights went black and the stage lights went on. He wanted to pull Megan out of the tent to hear what she’d been about to tell him.
What was she thinking?
That she wanted to be together?
Or that she didn’t?
She was immediately caught up in the circus show, but Gabe couldn’t concentrate on anything but her.
* * *
Megan loved every second of the circus show. She could hardly look as nimble acrobats tossed themselves around the ring. She held her breath when the tiger trainer got in the ring with ten deadly animals. She laughed until her stomach hurt at the antics of the clowns.
And still, for all that her senses should have been filled to the brim, she couldn’t forget for one single second the man sitting beside her. No one she’d dated had ever thought to take her to the circus. It was always the same white tablecloths and hushed voices, stilted conversation about work and investment portfolios. She’d never let any of those men get close enough to find out her hopes and dreams, what made her laugh or cry.
But even though she’d repeatedly tried to push Gabe away, even though she’d worked hard to guard her heart from him, he’d figured her out. From the fireworks show way up high on his roof to the innocent, childish fun of the circus, he was filling her soul up, one sweet experience at a time.
Not to mention the wonder of the way he made love to her.
At the end of the show, she jumped to her feet, clapping so hard her palms stung.
“Thank you, Gabe. It was—” She had to search for the right word, finally finding it in Summer’s favorite exclamation. “—awesome! Totally awesome!”
She quickly bought a few little trinkets to give to Summer. When she glanced back at Gabe, he looked pleased with how much she’d enjoyed herself, but strangely worried, too.
“Didn’t you have a good time?”
“I did, although to be honest, just watching you enjoy it made it the best circus I’ve ever been to.”
Megan flushed at the heat in his eyes. It was amazing how being with Gabe made everything around her so much richer, so much brighter. She hadn’t realized all the shades, all the contours she was missing until he had—literally—burst into her life.
She enjoyed holding his hand and snuggling close to him as they walked back to the parking lot. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and everything felt so right.
“When do you need to pick Summer up?”
She looked at her watch. “In about an hour.”
She found herself being tugged in the opposite direction from the truck, out toward the ocean. A few minutes later, they were sitting on a log looking at the Golden Gate Bridge.
He had that serious look on his face again. “Gabe, something’s wrong, isn’t it? You had that same look back under the big top.”
“No, nothing’s wrong. At least I hope there isn’t.” He ran his hand through his hair, leaving it looking sexily rumpled as he explained, “When we were talking about Summer, you started to say that you’d been thinking about things. But you never got a chance to tell me what it was you were thinking.”
Her heartbeat kicked up. Back in the circus ring, she’d been so overwhelmed with his lovely surprise date that her mouth had been moving without much editing from her brain.
But, now, Megan was nervous. Habit made her want to get up off the log and run away from Gabe as fast, as far as she could.
It was so very difficult to remain right where she was and face not only Gabe, but her own fears.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about us,” was the only way she knew how to begin.
She had to reach for his hand to steady herself. He was just as warm, just as steady as he’d always been. Nothing about this conversation was going to be easy. But that was no excuse not to have it, no excuse to keep hiding her feelings from Gabe.