He kissed me again and again, then asked, “You’re mine? Just mine?”
And the way he asked, with such insecurity in his voice, was as if he didn’t know the answer to his questions. And it calmed me to know he was as uncertain about this as I was. His questions lacked his usual confidence and sounded almost juvenile. I told him honestly, “If you let me in and you promise to try, for me, then yes. I’m yours.”
Pulling back and looking down at me, his eyes crinkled in the corners. “So we’re doing this? You’re my girlfriend?”
Blushing, I dipped my chin, “I-I guess so. That’s usually how these things go. I know you don’t love me…”
He cut in with, “I will love you.”
“…yet, but it doesn’t matter to me. I’m willing to make this work if you think you can let me in enough to understand you. That’s all I need, Twitch. Help me understand you.” I whispered by the shell of his ear, “Just let me in.”
Wrapping his arms around me, he held me tightly, buried his face into my neck, and mumbled, “I’ll try, baby. I’ll try.”
And I believed him.
How this all happened so quickly, I really have no idea.
One second I came to offer Twitch help – help he desperately needs – and the next, I’m losing my anal V-card. Then I’m yelling, and finally, I’m Twitch’s girlfriend.
Chuckling humorlessly, I shake my head at myself.
This could be the biggest mistake of my life.
Or it could be the most perfect prize. One you’ve earned.
There’s something about Twitch.
He’s just…raw.
Everything about him is raw. And gritty. And unbound.
He’s a raging fire. And I’m a fragile moth fluttering into the flame. Sooner or later, I’m going to get burned. I know this.
Will I even survive the heat?
How can I trust this man after everything we’ve been through in such a short time?
Without skipping a beat, my mind provides the answer.
Easy.
Spending the afternoon revisiting my decision to be involved with a man like Twitch made my mind turn to mush.
I have an ethical responsibility within my sector to help all that need it. I know Twitch needs help, even if he doesn’t believe that. It’s no real secret that man has anger issues that borderline violent. I wonder what I’m getting myself into. He has secrets. Secrets that run deep.
Thinking of the things that could have possibly happened to him makes my heart squeeze.
People don’t turn into the kind of person Twitch is for no reason at all.
Something terrible has happened for him to be this way. And I’ll be there, waiting patiently for when he finally wants to reveal those reasons. Something tells me that by giving him the promise he all but begged for, to not leave him, his trust in me has risen to a new level.
Twitch asked me to meet him at my place when I was done with work. He said he was taking the afternoon off and we’re going to be staying at his house tonight.
Everything inside of me told me not to go. To not be at his beck and call. That I needed to be independent.
But all I could think about was how much lost time we had to make up for.
Truthfully, learning about Twitch is more important to me than anything.
And tonight is going to be the night.
I text him back, telling him that I would meet him and that he’d better be ready to talk.
And talk is what we did.
I found him in my room when I got home, and at seeing my selection of underwear, he curled his lip in disgust. “Seriously, babe?”
“What?” I asked.
He took a pair of my pink cotton panties and stretched them between his fingers. Making a slingshot with them, he flung them across my room, then stalked over to the bed.
Sitting, his eyes took in my body as if he were undressing me with his eyes. And it made me a little uncomfortable. I’m not used to being scrutinised so close up.
He pulled me towards him so I stood between his legs. His hands travelled up my sides, then over my br**sts and back down. He muttered vacantly, “This body.”
Snapping out of his daze, he offered, “A body like this is a gift. So it needs to be gift-wrapped. I like my gifts to be wrapped in sexy.” Trailing a fingertip from my belly button down to the top of my mound, he muttered, “I like my women in silk and lace, frills and bows. I don’t do pretty, but I like women who do pretty.”
Looking up at me, he stated, “You do pretty, you won’t get rid of me.”
For Twitch, that was kind of sweet. And very macho. And seriously sexist.
The feminist in me booed and hissed, while the horny teenager in me slumped against a wall and sighed dreamily.
Not wanting him to know that, I teased, “You’re my stalker. I couldn’t get rid of you if I tried.”
His lips twitched. “I like Lexi. She’s funny. Not a huge fan of Alexa, though. She kinda sucks.”
I was confused. “But I’m Alexa. And Lexi. We’re the same person.”
He grinned hugely, “No. You’re not. Just like I’m Twitch sometimes, but I’m also…” My eyes widened.
Please tell me. Open up to me. Please.
His smile faltered only a second before he said, “C’mon. Let’s go home.”
Home.
With Twitch.
That felt so right that my mind wasn’t able to form words. Mouth parted, I simply nodded, and off we went.
Home.
Spending the afternoon with Lexi was crazy.
It was crazy because I don’t remember a time in my life when I laughed so much or smiled so hard. The woman is a serious clown. She’s adorably goofy. And I love that.
I never thought it could be this way with the two of us.
She says she loves me. And when she said it in anger, I knew it was true. I can’t tell her how I feel about her yet. I need her to know me – all of me – before I can tell her that. I have my reasons.
We spent the day outdoors. She dressed herself in the bright yellow sundress I bought her, after an argument which lasted almost an hour about me buying her things. She lectured me about people starving around the world, and about kids living on the streets. She only gave up her argument when I blurted, “I know, Lex. I was a street kid. So I get it.” Her face turned soft and her argument died. I added, “Just wanted to do something nice for my girl, okay?”
Standing by her dresser, she answered quietly, “Okay, honey.”
Like I said, I always win.
I showed her some of my favorite places in the city, including a small Italian café where we had something light for dinner. She said smiling, “You like Italian food, huh?”