I looked over at the petrified girl. She screamed beneath her gag and kicked the ground, struggling to break free.
I looked from the witches, to my siblings, to the girl, and back again.
Clara’s taunting voice echoed in my head.
“What are you waiting for? Dance, Kiev.”
My mind was so muddied with alcohol, my conscience lost so deep in its fog, that I didn’t need to give it a second thought.
I stood up and, breaking through the circle, dug my fangs into her neck. I released the venom as soon as her blood seeped into my mouth.
“Now stop.”
I didn’t want to stop. So I carried on. Helina and Erik grabbed me and pulled me away.
We all watched as the girl twitched, her transformation under way. One she was jerking more violently, Julisse issued me another order.
“Now her blood is neither that of human nor vampire. It’s time to drink.”
I didn’t remember ever drinking the blood of a vampire in mid-transformation. It had normally become bitter from the vampire venom taking over at that point—the human blood diluted, losing its sweet taste.
Still, I did as Julisse asked and gulped deep from the girl. Although it was indeed bitter, there were still a few pockets of sweetness left. I kept sucking and let go of the girl, the corpse, once it had become dry.
Then I lifted my head and looked up at the faces surrounding me, their eyes shining against the glow of the lanterns.
Julisse smiled.
“Welcome to The Shade, Kiev.”
Chapter 18: Mona
“When will you return my powers to me?” I asked Rhys the following morning once he had woken.
He got out of bed and wrapped a robe around himself. Walking over to my side of the bed, he gripped my arm and pulled me up.
“Sit there.” He pointed to the center of the room. “Cross-legged.”
Not taking my eyes off of him, I did as he’d instructed.
He paused for a moment, standing still, looking down at me. His expression was blank, but he scrutinized me as if trying to decide whether I really deserved my magic back.
Eventually he took a step back, faced both of his palms toward me, and began chanting the spell.
Light shot from his palms and hit me square in the chest. My extremities felt frozen—my nose, toes and fingers—while the center of my body felt like it was on fire. The heat spread out to the rest of my body and Rhys relaxed his hands and fell silent. He walked over and pulled me up into a standing position.
“This time, use them wisely,” he muttered.
He walked into the bathroom next door.
I stretched out my body and flexed my fingers and toes. It had been so long since I’d had powers, it felt strange. As though I’d just had a limb returned to me. A limb returned in exchange for my soul.
I walked over to the bathroom door and placed my head against it, listening to the sound of water running. I fidgeted with my fingers. I was burning to ask him the question that had been playing at the back of my mind ever since we arrived, but I was petrified that he would take it the wrong way.
I realized that the conversation would be much easier through a closed door, without his eyes boring into me.
“Rhys?” I called through the bathroom door.
The water stopped running.
“On the boat, you told me that if I came back to you, nobody I cared about would ever be harmed again. Does that rule apply from now on, or is it retrospective?”
There was a pause. Then, to my dismay, the door swung open. He stood there wearing nothing but a towel wrapped low around his chiseled torso, his wavy hair hanging loosely and framing his strong face. His stare seemed to cut right through me, as though I was transparent to him. I prayed that he hadn’t developed mind-reading capabilities since I’d been gone.
“Why would you ask such a question?” His voice was expressionless as he leaned a shoulder against the doorway, though I didn’t miss the flicker of suspicion in his eyes.
“I-I…”
“Is there somebody else?”
I bit my lip.
“Yes,” I said.
“Who?”
“I had a dolphin who was starting to fall ill. I cared for her dearly. I-I’d just like to know if she has any hope of surviving.”
Rhys continued to stare at me.
“A dolphin,” he said slowly. “You always have been a miserable liar.”
Rhys reached out and pulled me into the steam-filled bathroom. Lifting my hands above my head, he pushed me back against the wall and pressed himself against me.
“Tell me about this man,” Rhys breathed, his chest heaving. “You have my attention.”
I shut my eyes.
Memories of the vampire flashed through my mind. Standing on my porch, slamming his fists against my front door. Perched on my roof, half naked, flipping through the pages of my story. Standing before me on the boat, his dark hair wet, face stained with blood. His zealous gift-giving rampage. His emerald-green eyes looking down at me. His long fingers running through my hair. His lips pressing against mine… That crazy, erratic vampire who’d possessed my mind during those fleeting months of my life.
I smiled slightly even as tears brimmed in my eyes.
“Don’t shut me out, Mona.”
Rhys’ grip tightened, his breathing becoming more impatient.
I opened my eyes and looked up at him.
“I’m not shutting you out, Rhys,” I whispered, my voice hoarse and in danger of breaking again. “I’m saying goodbye so that I can let you in.”
He paused, then nodded, and allowed me to close my eyes again for a few more minutes of silence.
When I opened them, he didn’t ask me again who it was I’d fallen for. For that, I was grateful. I didn’t know that I could bear to say the vampire’s name out loud. I could barely say it in my head. I also didn’t know what Rhys might do to him if he ever found out. I didn’t know whether he would be able to control his jealousy.
Rhys let go of my hands. He brushed the thin straps of my nightgown away from my shoulders and slid it off my body. Letting his own towel fall, he pulled me beneath the running water with him.
“I’ve always told you I can make you happy,” he said softly, his lips caressing my ear. “I can make you want me. If you’d just give me the chance…”
My skin tingled as he ran his rough hands down my body, his right hand gripping my thigh. I felt my black rose burn against him.
There’s no point holding on to the dream of a life away from Rhys. Away from this cult. Away from this darkness. I need to accept this life, and do the best I can to let Rhys in. I’ll drive myself to insanity otherwise. Holding on will only cause endless pain.