“I understand,” I croaked.
“Then begin your oath,” Efren muttered. “You should know it well enough by now.”
I placed both of my palms flat over the scrolls Isolde had placed in front of me and chanted the ancient syllables that would bind me to live and die by the rules of the Ancients.
My throat became so dry, I was rasping by the time I got to saying the final words. My lips trembled as I withdrew my hands from the scrolls. Rhys took one of my hands in his while Isolde took the other and we all formed a circle—chanting the spell that would seal the oath.
I felt like I was sealing my own coffin.
Then silence fell on the room. After three minutes, Isolde and Efren got up and left the room. I remained sitting, my hands still shaking. Rhys reached for me and tilted my chin up to face him. I fought to avert my eyes away. I was scared that he would see the tears within them. And I hated to cry before him. I hated him to see me weak.
I returned to my room and stayed there the rest of the day, dreading the moment Rhys would return later on. Because I had no more excuse to live separately from him. Now that I’d been reinitiated, I was fit to share Rhys’ bed again.
Soon after midnight, the door to my room opened. He came in and planted a kiss on my bare shoulder before picking me up and carrying me to his room. As I lay in my nightgown, I felt him settle down beside me, sliding an arm around me and drawing my back closer against him.
“Do you ever think about how we used to be?” I whispered, my eyes glazing over at the memory of the carefree boy he once was. After all this time, I still kept that image of him etched in my memory. I supposed I did it because it helped me to be less afraid of him at times like this.
I felt him sigh against my neck.
“When we were frivolous children? No.”
I reached for one of his large hands and held it in mine. I stretched out his palm, spreading out his long fingers, and stared at it.
“I liked you better then.”
There was a pause. He reached around my midriff and flipped me over so that I was facing him. Propping his head up on the pillow, he looked down at me, his hand resting on my thigh. His face was stern, eyes intense as ever.
“I don’t know what you’re trying to achieve with this conversation. Just promise not to leave me again. All right?”
I nodded, my heart pounding in my chest.
He planted a kiss on my forehead and extinguished the bedside light.
Give it up, Mona. He’s too far gone.
As you will be soon.
Chapter 17: Kiev
Helina and Erik appeared on the beach soon after the ship disappeared from view. The three witches stood by their side.
“What the hell was that?” I bellowed.
I ran up to them and gripped Erik’s shoulders, shaking him.
“I trusted you,” I shouted, blood spraying on his face as I broke down coughing.
Helina looked down at me worriedly. Erik kept his expression stiff. Neither answered my question.
“Tell me!” I gasped, coughing still consuming my dry throat.
Their arms wrapped through mine as they lifted me up to support me. I broke away from them and fell back to my knees, refusing to move anywhere until I had answers.
“I’m sorry, Kiev,” Helina whispered, bending down to place a gentle hand on my back. “It was for your own good.”
“What?”
“You can’t have a foot on both islands. You can’t be loyal to two opposing sides.”
“What are you talking—”
“You’re either with us, or you’re with him,” Erik said. “We decided to make the decision for you. Once you’ve calmed down, you’ll realize it was easier this way. Would you choose Matteo over your brother and sister?”
“Are you two insane? Who says I have to choose either one?”
Erik and Helina exchanged glances.
“It’s the rules,” Helina muttered.
“Rules? Whose rules?” I roared.
“You’ll find out soon enough,” Erik said.
“Are you not Lord and Lady of these thugs?”
They responded with more silence.
Their nonsensical speak and refusal to acknowledge their atrocious act drove me to the brink of reason. I reached out and grabbed Erik’s foot, knocking him to the floor. Climbing onto him, I brought a fist down against his face.
“No, Kiev! Stop it!” Helina cried. “Don’t take it out on your brother.”
Helina and the three witches all grabbed me at once, hauling me off Erik.
“Then who am I to take it out on?” I glared up at my sister. Had she been a man, I would have punched her too.
“I’m sorry, Kiev,” Erik said, getting back to his feet, wiping blood from his nose. “I know this is rough.”
They both bent down and attempted to lift me to my feet again. I shoved them away and staggered to my feet without their help. I raced back to The Black Bell and locked myself in my cabin.
I didn’t speak a word to anyone for the whole journey. Helina knocked on my door at one point, but I ignored her.
What would drive them to do this?
The question repeated over and over again in my head as I tried to make sense of their insane decision. I wondered if the witches had anything to do with it.
By the look on Celice’s face, it appeared that she hadn’t been informed of the plan beforehand. She appeared frustrated and angry that her scheme to escape alone with me had yet again been foiled. If anything, it would have been her two elder sisters behind it.
But why? What rules?
When we arrived back at The Shade, this time it was no surprise to me when my headache and coughing vanished. I raced out of the ship before I could bump into my siblings and ran straight to my room, the horrors of the night still playing fresh in my mind.
The more I thought about the events of the evening, the more unbelievable they became. Not a single one of The Shade’s vampires had fallen. And I knew that Matteo’s people were no weaklings.
Matteo. I couldn’t get his last words out of my head.
“For being fool enough to believe my sister’s killer could ever be redeemed.”
They played over and over, like a needle piercing the same nerve each time it struck.
What is my life?
Everything I touch seems to turn to poison.
Poison. I caught sight of a bottle of liquor on a shelf near the window. Long ago, I had made a vow never to drink alcohol. Because it made me lose the little control I had over my actions. I remembered what I used to end up doing on those nights I would get drunk to drown out the pain. I shuddered just recalling how much more blood I had on my hands the morning after. How much further I had allowed myself to sink into the darkness, if that was even possible.