I hated that. I wanted to always be in control and yet it was so clear to me that my life—much more the lives of those I loved—was never meant to be manageable.
I jabbed at the punching bag before letting out a frustrated scream. Tears and sweat made a mess out of my face, but I held the sobs in. Camilla never could’ve known how much she’d hurt me by leaving. I doubted she even cared.
What am I going to do with Sofia now? How on earth am I going to be a father to her when all I know in life is to play the part of Aiden Claremont, the millionaire, and Reuben the Head Hunter?
“Reuben,” a deep familiar voice called me by my hunter name. “What are you still doing here?”
I spun around and found Arron studying me. Arron was a senior of the Order of the Hawk, which controlled all hunter activities. He was one of the most influential figures among the hunters and one to avoid crossing.
I nodded toward him. “Arron. I had no idea you were here. I was just…”
“Blowing off some steam?”
I nodded, trying to maintain composure. Of all the seniors I’d met, Arron intimidated me the most, and I couldn’t even figure out why. There wasn’t anything striking about him. He was known for being ruthless against vampires, but among the hunters, who wasn’t? I raised my eyes to his, wanting to place what it was about him that silenced even the most fearless of hunters.
“I heard what happened to your wife and your daughter.”
My fists clenched, the leather of the boxing gloves squeaking. I swallowed hard, refusing to break down in front of one of our strongest leaders.
Arron began circling me, his hands tucked behind his back. “Tell me, Reuben, how do you plan to raise a nine-year-old child? You kept your family life so well hidden all these years. How you sheltered your wife and your daughter amazes me, but now that the vampire world is aware of Sofia, do you really believe you can keep this up?”
I was in no mood to discuss Camilla or Sofia. “What are you saying? Kindly get to the point.”
“Just like your father. No time for nonsense, ruthless in battle, loyal to the cause of the hawk. You impress me time and time again, Reuben, but I digress. What I’m saying is that you have a decision to make. This is the forked road. You are either going to introduce little Sofia to our world or you are going to push her away from your life in order to spare her all this.”
“Push her away?”
“Do you honestly believe that she could live a normal life? If so, then you are a fool.”
“It can happen. She will only know Aiden Claremont. She will never have to know Reuben.”
“She is a walking target as long as she’s connected to you.”
“She just lost her mother. I can’t cut her out of my life. I just…”
“Then make a hunter out of her. I’ve known you since you were a child. Your father was a good friend of mine. You were meant to be a hunter, Reuben, but you know what the life of a hunter is like. Look ahead of you and you will find nothing but bloodshed and violence. Thus was the life of your father and thus will your life be also. Should you decide to keep Sofia close to you, then you had better prepare her for this life.”
“And if I don’t want her to be a hunter?”
“Then stay as far away from her as possible.”
“Just like that? How can a father do that to his own child? How can I live with myself knowing that I abandoned my own daughter?”
“How can you live with yourself knowing that you put her life in danger?”
With that, Arron left me to muse over his words. No words of comfort, no hint of empathy—just an expressionless face the entire time.
Right then, I understood what was so chilling about Arron’s presence. He was a man without a family who saw nothing but the bottom line. He looked at people and saw them for what use they could be to our cause. If one was no longer of use, then he was no longer of worth. That was what made him so terrifying. Unlike the rest of us, Arron acted like a man with nothing to lose and everything to gain.
The hunters’ occupation of The Shade was a dream come true for anyone with a deep-seated hatred for vampires and I was keenly aware of it. I could practically feel the hatred oozing out past their veneer of calm confidence. It was a matter of time before things turned out for the worst. I would be a fool to think that they wouldn’t capitalize on the power they had over the vampires of The Shade.
Soon after our first council meeting at Vivienne’s penthouse, the hunters had taken over the Residences. They wanted the vampires to retaliate. They wanted a valid reason to harm the vampires of The Shade. They were just waiting, prodding, allowing the tension to increase.
I walked past a group of hunters as I made my way along the cobblestone pathways of what was left of the Vale.
“So this is The Shade.” Zinnia, a young hunter whom I’d mentored, began walking in stride with me. “This is what you left our cause for.”
“You know why I left our cause, Zinnia. I did it for Sofia and Sofia alone.”
“So you admit it.” She tucked a loose strand of her blue-streaked, shoulder-length hair behind her ear. “You have left our cause.”
I chuckled as I waved at one of the humans from the Catacombs manning one of the stalls at the Vale’s main market, or at least what was left of it. They were making a valiant, but rather shoddy, attempt to rebuild what we’d lost at The Shade after the Elder’s devastating attack. “A cure has been found, Zinnia. You and I know that changes everything. Perhaps you should be asking yourself what exactly your cause is.”
“Revenge. Hasn’t that always been a hunter’s cause? We can talk about the big picture all we want, but the only reason any of us ever became hunters was because vampires took something—someone—from us. And we want them to pay.”
“So what are you proposing now? What do you intend to do? Spend your whole life chasing after vampires—none of whom are personally responsible for your loss? And what happens when these vampires turn back to humans? What then?”
Zinnia shifted her weight. I was getting to her and I knew it. I couldn’t blame her. After years of devoting oneself to a cause, it was difficult to have what you were fighting for seem meaningless.
“What happened to you? You were the infamous Reuben. Ruthless… merciless… devoted to our cause.”
“Again with this cause. Revenge is not a cause, Zinnia. It’s a controlling obsession. It accomplishes nothing.”