“And who would do that, Derek? Would you abandon Vivienne? She’s still trying to pull herself together after what the hunters put her through. She needs a life of her own too.” Sitting on his lap, I looked him straight in the eye. “I know you, Derek. You care about The Shade. You care about everyone there. Don’t even deny it. No matter how much we both want to start a family together, we can’t just turn our backs on The Shade.”
It was so unlike him to even think of running from the responsibility of ruling The Shade. I adored him for wanting to build a family with me, and I wanted to dream right along with him, but I also knew that running away from everything… it wasn’t him. It wasn’t us.
“You dream, you know. Every night since we left The Shade. You begin mumbling stuff about the island. What’s going on, Derek? This isn’t you.”
His face softened as his eyes glistened. “I guess I’m just tired, Sofia. I feel like we’re going to return to complete chaos, and… I’m human now. Ruling The Shade as a powerful vampire was difficult enough. Stepping up to that responsibility as a human… it feels like I’m just putting myself, you and our future children in danger.”
I swallowed hard. I’d never thought about it that way. In my eyes, Derek was just as powerful as a human as he had been as a vampire.
He sat up, leaning back against the headboard. He ran his hands over my thighs and let them settle over my hips. “I don’t know if this is a risk I want to take.”
It didn’t take a genius to know that we had trouble ahead. I wouldn’t be surprised if trouble was already happening back home at The Shade as we were gallivanting around the globe on our honeymoon. The one month we’d asked for was already selfish. Still, I never would’ve imagined that Derek could entertain the idea of abandoning the island entirely.
“Tell me about the dreams you’ve been having, Derek. What do you think is up ahead?”
He pried his eyes away from me and let them settle on my kneecap while his hand slid down from my thigh to my knees. A mischievous grin appeared on his face and he began tickling me.
He was trying to distract me and it was working. I screeched and tried to get away from him. Of course, that was futile, considering his strong grip. By the time he was done, I was lying on my back on the bed, unable to control my laughter. He was kneeling on the bed, looming over me.
“Hey!” I squealed. “You can’t just do that to avoid a conversation, Derek.”
He responded by slipping his hand beneath my shirt and tickling my ribs.
“No!” I screamed. “Enough! Please… Derek, enough! Have mercy!” I was practically in tears.
He chuckled. “You’re my wife. I can do whatever I want.”
“No, you can’t!”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “You’re objecting?” His fingers once again threatened to knock the breath right out of me.
“No! I’m not,” I conceded. “You win, you win.”
A self-satisfied smile appeared on his face. “No one ever said this marriage was going to be fair, Sofia.”
He might have known my weakness, but I sure knew his. I gave him a naughty grin. “That is so true.” All I had to do was unbutton the first three buttons of my shirt and he was putty in my hands. When I was sure that he was pining for me, I slapped his hands away just as he was about to pull at my underwear. It was my turn to smile. I fluttered my eyelashes. “Only if you promise that you will tell me about these dreams you’ve been having. If not today, tomorrow.”
His eyes went from roaming my body to giving me a glare. “Sofia, that’s not fair.”
I grinned. “No one said this marriage was going to be fair.”
“You win.” He rolled his eyes.
“Perfect.” I reached out and planted a kiss on his lips.
Derek was the first and only man I’d ever made love to. When he’d still been a vampire, he’d spent a lot of energy just trying to maintain control whenever we slept together.
The first time we’d made love after he turned human was the best I could remember. It was perhaps because of his abandon. He wasn’t busy trying to restrain his cravings and appetites. He was enjoying every moment of it.
“I’m hungry,” Derek confessed after we both rolled over on our backs, breathless. “Why am I always hungry?”
I chuckled and rubbed his stomach. “Weren’t you the same when you were a vampire?”
“True,” he admitted. “Let’s go get something to eat.”
One of the things I enjoyed most about our honeymoon was introducing him to new delicacies. In fact, the first time he’d begun to crave food, he’d asked if people were still making salted pork and ale. It had been a pleasure watching the delight in his eyes whenever he tasted something new.
So my eyes lit up and I sat up on the bed. “I think this would be a great time to introduce you to ice cream. I can’t believe I totally forgot about ice cream. Let’s go.” I tried to think back to the last time I’d had it. My stomach turned. Ben. He was the only person who knew what my favorite ice cream flavor was.
“Uh, Sofia… What’s wrong?”
“What? Oh, it’s nothing.” I shook my head. “Let’s go get you your first taste of ice cream.”
The reaction on Derek’s face was priceless as he tasted his third flavor of ice cream. “This is delicious. Aren’t you going to have more?”
“I already had a second serving,” I told him. “That might go straight to my hips. We’re going to get some exercise now.”
“Exercise?” He wrinkled his nose.
“As a vampire, you never needed it.” I smiled. “Now, you do.”
He took a huge bite from his ice cream cone. “Well, let me just finish this first.”
I enjoyed watching him. He had a childlike delight at everything we saw during our honeymoon. He found pleasure in the things I took for granted—vending machines, phones, bells, food… Derek loved every second of being human, of being alive. He embraced every new experience he encountered.
Or at least it seemed that way to me. I remembered what he’d told me about his apprehensions, and I had to face the fact that as strong and as virile as he still was, he was no longer the most powerful vampire there was. As Derek Novak the human, he was vulnerable and so was I.
I’d never thought that he could have misgivings about being human again, but when the reality of the situation began to sink in, I found myself battling with fear.