She sighed and then put down the contact book she was flipping through.
“Alright. You’re old enough to make your own choices, Amy. But if things get worse you need to come to me right away.”
“Of course,” I nodded, zipping up my coat and then heading out of the office. Now, I was safe. Liam wouldn’t come looking for me for days, I knew that, and an official record of an excuse from class meant no one else would either. As long as I still met my Dad for lunch, he wouldn’t suspect a thing.
I didn’t want to do anything but shut myself in my room for days. Even though it was impossible to believe, I knew what Liam told me was true. There was no other explanation for what I had seen. The way his face had changed in the darkness and then changed again in the light; the fact that I never saw him after dark; the way he ran off as soon as the sun was setting. All the facts began to add up and I wondered why I didn’t see it before.
I couldn’t deal with this. I couldn’t handle it. It was almost like, wordlessly, he was mocking me. My mortality loomed with every beat of my heart … with every beep of my watch to remind me to take my AZT. Without them, the disease would descend and I’d be dead in less than a few years. They kept my death at bay but reminded me that the Grim Reaper was constantly looming over me.
I spent a good part of the day angry at him. He didn’t think it was something important to tell me when we first got involved? And still, even the fact that he had been cursed and made immortal didn’t seem so bad to me. Liam didn’t need to sleep. He was only a vampire at night. He had gone from one incredibly successful career to another without so much as lifting a finger. Everything had been handed to him. He had never known struggle or poverty, and yet he thought he had the right to complain about his troubles.
I paced the room, resisting the urge to throw something. How could I trust anything that came out of his mouth, now? All those things he had promised me - parts, help, fame, schooling - I wondered if any of it was true. Or was I simply a relief for him; a potential snack that didn’t tempt him?
How could I have been so stupid to even think I was talented? I smelled terrible to him and that’s why he wanted me around. He would rather have me, for his own selfish reasons - to be able to kiss and touch and be around a warm human he didn’t want to eat - than choose someone who actually deserved this scholarship and would be good for the school.
I wasn’t about to give it up, of course. No, I decided that late on the second day as I sat on my bed, furiously typing away at my laptop. My disease had given me nothing but trouble, but for one miracle moment it had actually helped me. This was my dream and it didn’t matter what the reason was for it happening. I mean, Hollywood was all about whom you knew, not what you could do. Everyone knew that. So if this was the reason I got here, so be it. Liam wasn’t going to take it away from me.
Angrily, I slammed my laptop shut and got up, stalking to my bedroom door to check the schedule I had taped there. I had rehearsal first thing in the morning and I decided I was going. He wasn’t going to take away anything more from me. If my blood got me here, so be it, but my talent was going to keep me here. I was going to try as hard as I could because I knew another shot like this would never happen again. Even if I had to do it alone.
I picked up my phone and sent an email to my instructors, informing them I would be resuming classes in the morning. There were several messages from Sarah. I knew I had ignored her over the past two days. Two days was the longest we’d come without ever speaking. I couldn’t do it any longer, even if I couldn’t tell her exactly what was happening.
With a sigh, I glanced in the mirror, making sure I didn’t look too upset with the world. And then, I pushed the video call button. She answered immediately.
“Amy, where the hell have you been? Are you ok? I was worried! What’s going on, girl?”
“Nothing,” I said, settling back on my bed with what I hoped was a bored sigh. This was probably my greatest acting challenge to date. And if I was going to keep being an actress, then I’d better get used to it. “I’ve just been really busy. Rehearsal and all. I’m tired, tell me about you!”
She grinned, sitting down on her own couch. “I went to this audition today…” As Sarah babbled on, I settled my head back against the pillows, listening. Normal life had to resume, or at least what was left of it. It had to or I wouldn’t survive. It just had to resume without Liam.
CHAPTER 13: AMY
The next morning, my alarm pierced through the silence at 6am. It was the earliest I could manage to get up and still feel half decent. The dancers often got up at 5am, used to having to go to rehearsals before and after normal schooling. Now they were here, they used every waking moment to practise.
I knew, however, that I would be the first awake in the drama wing. My fellow actors were the ones who were rushing down the halls to class with less than a minute to spare, on a daily basis.
I turned on the shower, relying on the water to wake me up. Last night, I had printed a fresh copy of my script, and transferred notes from the mangled one. Three days ago, I would have still felt disappointed that Liam had gone through with his choice to have someone else play Beast for almost all the shows. Today, I was glad of it.
My new partner, Deon, was a senior student, and a great actor. He had been at the school since he was six, and he knew every trick. He was funny, and kind, and took time to explain to me some terms I had not yet grasped in class. We got along well in class, and I knew rehearsal was going to be fine.
Out of the shower, I dried my hair and applied a bit of makeup. It wasn’t something I normally wore, but this was the new me; the me without Liam; the me who could make it on her own.
By 7am, I was walking down the halls of the dorms, towards the theater. I barely glanced at the hallway with the nearly invisible door where I had found Liam. I couldn’t change the truth about him, but I could move on.
He hadn’t tried to contact me at all in the past two days, nor had I messaged him. I guessed my dramatic exit had made it clear that I couldn’t deal with this.
I did miss him, of course, although it was hard to admit it. I missed his arms around me, his sweet gentle kisses that came and went too fast when we snuck away to my room on lunch hour. I missed his guidance on my work and rehearsing alone in my room without anyone to point out flaws was starting to send me in a panic.
But all that had to be behind me. Whatever issues Liam was working through weren’t mine to deal with. How could I trust him ever again?