“Rright.” Alec laughed, “Whatever you say. Oh and PS we have therapy tonight so… don’t be late, and try not to… show up high.”
I rolled my eyes. “Please.”
“I’m serious Demetri.”
“So am I!” I roared, “I can go a night without lighting up.”
Alec’s face fell. “And you know this how? Have you even tried?”
I was officially done with this conversation. “I know my limits.”
“If you knew your limits I wouldn’t have found you face down on the bathroom floor of our hotel room last week surrounded by puke, but sure, yeah, you know your limits, right?” He slammed his fist onto the table and swore.
“That was one time.”
“I don’t care!” he yelled. “It’s never happening again. We aren’t doing this Demetri. I can’t — lose you.”
Snorting I pushed past him. “Funny, shouldn’t you have thought of that before you slept with my girlfriend and got her pregnant?”
“Dem—”
“No. You’re so right. Maybe I’m losing control, losing my shit, but whose fault is that? You broke my damn heart and you expect me to listen to the shit that comes out of your mouth? Your delusional.”
“Just…” Alec’s voice was hoarse, “Try. For me. Just try.”
I sighed and grabbed the keys to my car. “I’ll be back in time for the appointment. But I’m going out.”
“Demetri,” Alec said my name like a curse. “Let me see your pockets first.”
“Am I your child?” I opened the door so hard it almost strained my arm.
“No. Yet you make me treat you like one.”
I reached into my jean pockets and pulled them out. “Empty.” I didn’t want to say it was because I’d taken my stash for the day.
Alec’s face relaxed like he was relieved. “Thanks man, I’m sorry, just paranoid.”
“Yeah well, take a nap or something,” I grumbled, slamming the screen door behind me.
The car roared to life.
Once I was around the corner, I reached into the consul and pulled out a tiny bag of pills.
Tomorrow. I’d quit tomorrow.
CHAPTER FIVE
Alec
LATER THAT EVENING, I opened the window and listened to the waves as they crashed against the beach. There was something so calming about the ocean, about the noise.
It sounded like peace.
Something I hadn’t felt in a very long time.
A light flickered on next door.
I was still pissed that we were neighbors with the cute girl, let alone that our shrink was her mom. Could things get more complicated? Oh right, Demetri was circling her like a damn crow.
She was texting someone.
Not that I was being the creepy guy that was watching a girl through her bedroom window.
I mean I wasn’t a stalker or anything, but damn her smile was captivating. I found myself smiling every time she did. A twinge of jealousy hit me square in the chest when I realized who she was probably texting.
On my phone.
To her phone.
Where was something to throw when I needed it?
A run. I needed to go for a run or do something — anything that would get my sorry ass out of my room and away from stalker-like tendencies.
Nat sighed and lay down on her bed.
So I went and lain down on mine.
I imagined what it would be like to hold her — not kiss her — just hold her in my arms. Would she be soft? Would she blush? Hell, I missed a girl who knew how to blush.
I touched my lips, suddenly aware of how many times I’d kissed girls, screwed girls, hurt them, and not even given it a second thought.
She was the type of girl that should have been my first. The one that you kiss once and never want to stop kissing.
I imagined a life where I’d been born normal. I would have gone to school with her; I would have asked her out on a date. I would have kissed her as soon as I could. I would have held her hand.
Demetri’s knocking interrupted my daydream.
“What?” I called.
“Dude” — Demetri pushed the door open, stumbling towards my bed — “I may have overdone it.”
“Overdone it. How?” I tensed as he approached and plopped down onto the mattress. “Ugh, but she was so hot.”
“Nat?” It was a toss-up between sheer panic and wanting to strangle him.
“No.” Demetri snorted. “The girl in the newspaper who said I screwed her. I swear I only kissed her.” He laughed again. “God, I hate girls.”
“Are you high?”
He was silent for a minute, “Maybe.”
“Man… you gotta cut that shit out.”
“She makes me want to.” He sniffled. “She’s so pretty.”
“Are we talking about Nat again?”
“Yeah,” he whispered, “I like her hair.”
Get in line.
“And she has such pretty eyes, you think she’d go out with me? If I asked? For real?”
“That depends,” I said slowly. “Do you think you can keep yourself from getting high so you can actually get behind the wheel of a car and not put her in danger?”
Demetri swore. “You’re not our dad!”
“No.” I clenched my fists. “He’s dead.”
Demetri punched the mattress. “Look, I’m sorry I just have lots of… feelings.”
“I’m aware.”
With a heavy sigh he pushed off the bed and saluted me. “I’ll make you a promise. No drugs. As long as she says ‘yes,’ and we hang out and things are normal. God, I need normal…” He wiped his face with his hands. “Then no drugs.”
“Swear?” A flicker of hope erupted in my chest. “Swear right now that if things go good with her you won’t mess it up. Swear to me, Demetri.”
His face got really serious. “I swear. I want her, man. I like her, she makes me feel… happy.”
“Don’t bring her down with you.”
“How could I?” He seemed genuinely confused. “When she lifts me up?”
Yeah. The only question? What would happen when he tired of her or when she didn’t return the feelings.
Or when I did the same thing I did so long ago — and try to get her for myself. Because who was I kidding? I was borderline obsessed and she thought I hated her.
One day.
One day in Seaside and my life was already flipping upside down.