“Fine, but if you go home I’m going with you. Your choices are as follows. Stay with me, while I sleep on the floor guarding your virtue from my brother if he decides to track you down, or I’m crashing at your place. It’s not safe for you to stay by yourself, Nat. Your parents are gone, right?” Shit. She couldn’t leave. I didn’t trust her to leave; I didn’t trust her with me or without me.
I ran my fingers through my hair. Nat had a good head on her shoulders, I got that, but leaving her when she was weak, it just reminded me of all those times I’d left Demetri and he’d almost died via an overdose. You don’t bail on someone when he’s at his weakest moment. You hold on for dear life and swear never to let go — even if it means you have to threaten their sorry ass. “Look, I know it’s Seaside and not L.A. I just don’t feel good with you being there by yourself. You should hang here for a while.”
She nodded. “You don’t have to do that, Alec.”
“Yes. I do.” Emotion clogged my throat, I so, so, so, do. “So, what will it be?”
Her eyes darted around the room. “I guess we could stay here.”
“Good, because I already ordered pizza.”
Her laugh was like a punch to the gut. Good, she was laughing. The tears were gone, for now.
“When did you do that?”
“I have my ways. Apparently, there’s an app for that.” I teased.
Nat giggled. “Always is.”
My smile fell. “Are you going to be okay?”
“Of course.” Nat looked down at the mug, her lower lip trembled. At least when she lied she was really, really pretty.
My eyes narrowed.
She must have known she didn’t convince me because she said again, “I’ll be fine. I promise.”
“Says the raccoon,” I muttered under my breath as more black made its way down her face.
“Jerk!” She laughed and playfully pushed me away from her. “I knew I shouldn’t have worn mascara.”
“It’s not like you need it anyways.” I stared hard at those long lashes. Damn, they were beautiful. “You have the thickest dark eyelashes I’ve ever seen. It’s like you’re waving every time you blink. Actually I’d like to think it’s a greeting each time, ‘Hey, Alec. How you doin, Alec?’“
Nat burst out laughing. It was probably the longest conversation we’d ever had and I’d made her laugh twice.
“Oh my gosh! That’s kinda creepy, Alec, and I’m pretty sure every time I see you I’m going to blink even harder, because I’ll be thinking about it, and then people are going to think I have something in my eye.”
“Oh, I hope so.” I grinned and jumped up from the couch, my heart skipping a bit in my chest. “That would be entertaining for me.”
“Yes, and it’s all about you,” she joked.
I turned and offered a warm smile. “No. It’s about you.” It had always been about her. How could she not see that? Everything that I did, everything that Demetri did, it revolved around her.
Nat’s eyes widened, she chewed her lower lip and leaned towards me, I don’t even think she was aware she was doing it. But she was begging me to kiss her. Everything about the way her body leaned, her cheeks flushed, her eyes full of wonder and curiosity. One look at my past and that wonder would be gone, that hero worship? Tarnished. With a dark and sordid life.
“So…” I tried to push down the need to touch her. “Until the pizza gets here, what do you say we play some cards?”
“Cards? You play cards?” Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. What? Did she think I just wrote music and stared at myself in the mirror and clapped or something?
“Um, yeah? What else do you think there is to do on tour busses?”
“Sing?” She offered it as a question.
“I think not.” I sauntered to a drawer and pulled out a deck of cards and a pad of paper. “I take a vow of silence while I’m on the bus, saves my voice.” Besides. Demetri did enough talking for the both of us. Swear he made a guy want to be a mime.
“A vow of silence?” she repeated.
I nodded and winked.
“How exactly does that work?”
Damn she was too cute. I shrugged and lifted my hands into the air.
“Oh, very funny.” She narrowed her eyes and ripped the deck of cards out of my hands. The brief sizzle of her skin made me catch my breath. “So a vow of silence. So you’re like a monk?”
“Sure.” I smiled. “Just call me Ghandi.” I was so not feeling monk-like tendencies in that moment. Not at all.
“Was he a monk?” she questioned.
“I have no idea. That’s why I’m in school, to learn smart crap like that.”
Nat laughed again, this time her shoulders shook a bit as she visibly relaxed. “So what game are we playing?”
“Go fish,” I said in a serious voice.
“Seriously?”
“Oh, absolutely.” I grinned and reached for the counter top, revealing a giant pack of Swedish Fish. “So, this is how it works, every time a player says ‘go fish,’ you have to literally go fish, but you can’t use your hands.” It was the best game ever. And I’d totally just pulled it out of my ass. I mean, in theory I’d always wondered if it would work since I’d seen it played with Cheerios but now was as good of a time as any to try. Plus, any excuse to see her laugh, any excuse to touch her? Yeah. I’d take it.
“What do I use?” She stared at the bag in my hands.
“Your mouth.” I said it as casual as I could but winked so she’d know it wasn’t serious, when actually, my heart was damn near exploding “And you can’t let your lips touch the counter, it has to be all teeth. Cheaters will be punished.” I would love. To. Punish. Her. Hell, my mind was going to be my worst enemy.
“You’ve played this before?”
“Oh, honey, if this was an Olympic sport I’d have more medals than Phelps.” HAH — lies. Actually, I was good at cards but again, new game, and totally new opponent. Maybe I’d just let her win…
“Crap.” She dealt the cards with ease and went first.
Within ten minutes, Nat had already eaten five Swedish Fish and accidently touched the table with her lips twice. I hated to admit that I was jealous of my own coffee table. But there it was. I was jealous and a little pissed off that her lips touched the table when they wouldn’t come anywhere near mine. Another minute later and her lips were on the table again. Hell yeah that table was going to be kindling come morning.