"There's two of these places." Jake grimaced. "I hate damn couples' therapy. Some pictures can't be unseen, some words, unheard. I need a damn drink and a—"
"She drugged me with Viagra!" Jace blurted.
"Beth Lynn!" Char yelled.
"Not me!" I held up my hands in innocence. "Grandma did."
"But Grandma's been with us!" Jake said.
"No, she's been with us, here. She's our therapist."
"No…" Char squinted, "she's been our therapist."
"Holy shit." Jake pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm going to strangle her. I don't care what you say, Char. I'm doing it. I'm going to prison."
"Aw, baby, you know you're too pretty for prison." Char patted his back. "They'd eat you alive."
"Drinks?" I offered lamely. "You know, before you guys decide to bury your grandmother."
"Oh good!" A voice said from the dock. "You're all here, just as planned."
I turned slowly to face Grandma. The woman had no soul.
"Well." Jake cleared his throat, "may as well get on with it. Why are we all here, Grandma?"
"Yes," Another voice rang out. "Why in the hell are we all here?"
"Hi, Kacey!" Char waved.
Jake pulled her arm down and swore.
"All my kids." Grandma clapped and then did something that I'd never before seen in my life.
She burst into tears.
Chapter Twenty-three
"Does your meddling know no end?"
Grandma squinted. "No, of course not? They need me. And by the time the story's finished, I guarantee you'll agree. Grandma's ways are best."
"I highly doubt your grandsons agree."
"I beg to differ. My grandsons love me."
"Is that why one threatened to strangle you?"
"Oh that." Grandma snorted. "He'd have to catch me first."
Jace
Funny, how a few minutes ago I was ready to kill the elderly woman, and now my heart felt like someone had pulled it beating out of my chest, stomped on it, and then placed it back inside, all twisted and dirty.
"What's wrong?" Kacey pulled Grandma into a hug and gave Travis a helpless look.
He, in turn, looked to Jake who shrugged and nudged me. Nothing. I had nothing.
"Oh, I've made a mess." Grandma wiped a few tears. "I thought I could pull it off, but…" she sniffled, "I just… I couldn't do it. The project was too big, the minds helping me plan too damn small."
"Did she just call us stupid?" Jake asked.
"No," I answered honestly. "She'll just come out and say it if she wants to, believe me."
"And now his career's going to be over!" she wailed.
I had a sinking feeling I was the his, and the career was already in the toilet, but hey, ever the optimist, I kept listening.
"Jace."
Well, shit.
"Your approval ratings are low, it's true. I've been monitoring the news briefings. As of right now, everyone believes you've gone on vacation with your new family, but someone went to the reporters and said you were bluffing to cover your own ass. And when Kerry was interviewed again, she spouted more nonsense about how you weren't a family man and often paid prostitutes."
Jake's eyes narrowed.
"Ya, cast that stone, bastard. See if it hits you or me in the ass first," I sneered.
He shook his head and crossed his arms.
"So why are we here?" Travis asked. "Seems to me that Jace needs to get back to Portland and fix this. And you need to help him."
"Well," Grandma wrung her hands together, "I may have let it slip that he was here with his fiancée and her family."
"Of course you did." I clenched my teeth, not liking where it was going.
"So that explains why you called us, and why Jake and Char panicked when Rick wouldn't stop calling them, but…"
"Oh bother." Grandma wiped another few stray tears. "I'll just come out and say it."
"Please do." Okay, my teeth were going to grind clean off.
"I told them it was a destination wedding, and that your honeymoons were cover-ups to keep the media away."
I swayed on my feet. Not a proud moment.
Grandma continued talking. "I finally reached Rick, and he said it was a good cover, but that if we could somehow leak pictures to the media of us together, it would help."
"Hmm." Travis's eyes lit up with approval. "That's actually quite brilliant."
"You think so?" Grandma beamed.
I smacked his arm. Friends don't give Grandma compliments, or access to Benadryl, or any sort of encouragement, for shit's sake.
"What?" He shrugged. "It's not like you guys actually have to get married or anything. I mean, come on, Jace, it's not like you'll ever get married again after what happened with—"
Grandma smacked him on the back of the head. He gave me a guilty shrug, while Jake looked nervously between me and Beth.
She'd been eerily quiet the entire time, driving me insane with the desire to jump into her head and find out what she was thinking. Instead, she stood there like a frozen statue, while everyone else planned the next few days.
"You'll still attend therapy." This from Grandma.
"Screw therapy," Jake argued.
"Jake, you are an ass," Grandma retorted. "Which is why you still need to follow the rules. I know how hard it is for you to color in the lines, but for my benefit, you'll go to therapy. Poor Char, having to deal with all those anger issues."
"I'm NOT ANGRY!" Jake shouted.
"Stop raising your voice," Grandma said calmly. "I'm not deaf, and you will listen to me, or I'll fire you again."
He stopped talking.
"Well," Travis rubbed his hands together, "I guess that only leaves us one thing to do."
"What?" Beth asked, her voice small.
"Happy hour." He nodded. "I learned a long time ago not to argue. Things go much easier with tequila shots, wouldn't you agree, Jake?"
His eyes narrowed, and then he did the oddest thing. He blushed as Char kissed him on the neck and laughed.
Clearly, I was missing something, but it didn't matter, because Beth was still motionless. I almost waved in front of her face.
"What say you, Thor?" Jake asked, hands on hips.
"If he's Thor, I'm Iron Man." This from Travis.
"Dibs on Green Arrow." Jake raised his hand.
"Children." Kacey shook her head. "It's like we're honeymooning with little boys and capes."