I couldn't hold my laugh in any longer. "Some excursion, huh?"
"Yeah," her eyes narrowed, "some excursion." She pulled me into the rather large puddle and splashed me with water.
Laughing, I pulled her into my arms and kissed her. It just seemed like the right moment — you know, with Donkey looking on and farting and the mud caked to my chest and face.
"I'd get up if I were you." The guide suddenly appeared with his horse and damn half-eaten apple.
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah." He took another loud bite of his apple. "Puddles are a mating ground for mosquitos, and those bites swell as big as watermelon around here."
Beth and I both jumped up as fast as we could. The ten year old in me wanted to push her back into the puddle, point, and laugh. Fairytale, fairytale. I clenched my teeth. I really needed to start trying harder. The sooner things went well, the sooner I could put the week of spiders, donkeys, and mating mosquitoes behind me.
"Well," the guide scratched his head, "guess you'll need to wash off. The waterfall is just over that ledge right there. I'll hold the animals while you guys explore. Return in a half-hour so we can make it back in time for dinner."
"Great." I held out my hand. "Let's go Beth. I don't think Donkey wants to carry both of us, and I don't trust the horse."
She slipped her hand in mine. We were silent as I led her around the ledge and down toward the water.
"Wow." Beth breathed. "That's gorgeous!"
The waterfall was at least thirty feet high with jagged rocks near the bottom. A pool was behind the waterfall and there were steps that led into it.
"Huh, that's kinda cool." I pointed. "People must come down here for — oh dear Lord."
"What?" Beth's eyes followed where I was pointing.
A very large hairy man had just appeared from the lagoon; he must have been taking a dip because when I had originally looked, the water wasn't really moving.
It sure as hell was moving now.
"Um..." Beth chewed her fingernail. "I'm trying to decide if being clean is worth it."
I looked down at my muddy jeans and dirt caked arms. "It's worth it."
"Okay," Beth peeled off her shirt, "but let it be known: if it makes the six o'clock news that you were bathing under a waterfall with a large naked man, I'm not coming to your defense."
"Thanks," I muttered. As I unbuttoned my jeans, a moment of panic hit me swiftly in the gut. Was I really going to jump naked into the water? And why the hell was I suddenly nervous about being naked?
"Last one in's a rotten egg," Beth yelled. I looked up. And nearly had a stroke as I watched her perfect body catapult into the water in a perfect dive.
"Well, shit," I mumbled.
A distant hee-haw from Donkey followed.
Great. My sidekick was an ass. At least he had good hearing.
I threw off my boxers and joined Beth in the water.
The man had disappeared again under the waterfall, leaving us alone in the main part of the pool.
Beth popped up out of the water, but in my fantasy-like state, everything was happening in slow motion. She shook her head. As water droplets fell across her body, she bit down hard on her lower lip and then blinked the water away from her eyes before giving me a come hither glance.
Hell yes.
I felt like I was experiencing my own version of Peter Pan when he gets rescued by mermaids. I don't care what guy you ask — the mermaids in that story were hot as hell.
Side note to parents:, The reasons kids like that story is because there are no rules in Neverland, and the mermaids are hot.
Screw Tinkerbell. Just give me mermaids.
Or Beth.
Beth as a mermaid.
Beth in a mermaid costume under a waterfall holding a bottle of—
"Jace?" Beth snapped her fingers in front of my face. "Are you sick or something? You're all flushed."
"Viagra." I nodded, "It's, uh, probably still in my system."
"You do know you can only use that excuse possibly one more time, right?"
"I'm aware," I croaked, reaching out to touch her smooth clean skin. "I'm also frighteningly aware of you."
"Frighteningly?" Beth repeated. "Is that a compliment? Or does that mean I look scary."
"You look beautiful," I said honestly. "Scary beautiful. The type of beautiful that guys are afraid to touch. The type of beautiful that makes men want to risk everything for one taste, one touch, one night. Mix that with your brains, and you're the epitome of why men fight wars."
Beth's smile lit up my world. "Are you saying men fight over intelligence as much as they fight over beauty?"
"Yes," I whispered, pulling her body against mine as I took us closer to the waterfall. "Because you wear your intelligence, it's part of your beauty. You can't separate the two. I admire both. I'm attracted to both."
Her breath hitched as a blush stained her cheeks. "Nice words."
"True words." I cupped her face. "You may be asking for the fairytale, but I wouldn't lie to you just to make you feel better."
She tried to jerk away from me. But I held her face captive.
"If you could see what I see," I traced her jaw with my fingertips, "you would fully understand why you are the most frightening woman I've ever met."
"I do see what you see." Beth sighed. "That's the problem."
"I disagree."
"Big shock."
"Listen to me." I pulled her flush against my body. "You see boring. I see brilliant. You see brown hair, I see brown hair with honey highlights. You see normal pale-pink lips, I see bubble gum."
"Bubble gum?" She smirked.
"That's what you taste like." I nipped her lower lip with my teeth. "Damn bubblegum that never loses its flavor. I could taste you all day and still crave your sweetness." I was struggling between my own honesty and feelings. I wanted her to see herself how I did, but at the same time, telling her these things? It didn't change what I would do. I would walk away. I would. I would. I had to keep telling myself that.
"Why don't you?"
"What?" I snapped out of it.
"Conduct an experiment."
She trailed her fingers down my chest. I felt it in all the places I was trying to ignore, so I kept her virtue intact. Knowing a hairy middle-aged man was most likely watching us was literally the only thread holding my arousal together.
"What kind of experiment?"