"That I am." I pulled her closer and inhaled. Damn, her shampoo smelled good. "You said you wanted six days of a fairytale. I thought holding hands was a good place to start."
"Oh."
Her face turned crimson, and I instantly felt it in my gut as if someone had taken a baseball bat and beat me crapless.
She'd never had her hand held.
I'd bet money on it.
Girls didn't blush over things like that. Most girls didn't give a rat's ass. What type of man wouldn't hold her hand? What type of man wouldn't first at least try to woo the shit out of her?
Wrong wording. One should not woo shit out of anyone, but I digress.
Sighing, we walked hand-in-hand toward the building, and I made myself a promise. One I knew I would most likely regret this time next week.
I was going to actually try. I was going to leave my baggage at the door, check into the happy romance hotel, and make her feel wanted.
And when it was time to leave, I'd do so without looking back. But I'd also do so without any regrets, and that was reason enough to take the leap.
Chapter Thirteen
"How did the senator take to being cursed?"
"He wasn't tickled pink, that much I know. He threw my very expensive fertility necklace into the ocean!"
"Tragic loss," the man said dryly.
"Oh it was!" Grandma pounded her tiny fist onto the metal table. "One can't simply purchase fertility necklaces anywhere!"
"I wouldn't know."
"Well, I would." Grandma sniffed. "After all, I've spent years collecting them, storing them in my grandsons' cars, houses, offices, boats—"
"Ma'am, are you saying you've been this way for… years?"
"What way?"
"Insane."
Grandma smiled. "Some people's definition of insanity is genius. What's your take, Gus?"
"My name's not Gus."
"You look like a Gus. I'm going to go with Gus."
The agent looked longingly back at the glass window. "I think it's time for a break."
Beth
Holding hands with Jace was like riding a school bus for the first time. You were all sixes and sevens with your own body. Not sure who to sit by, not exactly positive you were at the right stop, so you keep looking out the window to make sure you didn't miss your own house. And then when you did per chance miss your stop, you couldn't care less because you'd already made friends with everyone and were really enjoying the ride.
"This is it." He let go of my hand.
The stupid bus stopped.
And now I had the infamous children's song, "The Wheels on the Bus," playing in my head like a broken record.
"I think we just go in." I clenched my hands together and moved to knock when the door was pulled wide open.
"No. Way." Jace swore and then kicked the doorframe.
Grandma pointed at the ground. "I think you killed an ant."
His nostrils flared. But he said nothing.
Grandma clapped. "Oh good. It's still alive, look." She pointed down.
Jace looked and stomped at least five times before regaining control of his body again.
"Oh dear. Well," Grandma touched her hand to her cheek, "I guess he's dead as a doornail now."
Jace stomped again.
Pretty sure Grandma was driving him over the edge. I grabbed his hand and squeezed. At least he stopped stomping.
"Come in, come in!"
Grandma opened the door wide and led us into a small office with a trickling waterfall and two black leather couches. The wall facing the door was a floor-to-ceiling window that looked out onto the ocean. All in all, if this had been my office, my life would be complete.
"Sit," Grandma said sweetly.
Jace released my hand and sat on the leather couch. I waited for him to start rocking back and forth.
He didn't.
I exhaled.
"So," Grandma took a seat opposite us, "tell me about yourselves. Why have you chosen Ocean Breezes Couples' Retreat?"
My mouth dropped open. She was kidding, right?
"You. Put. Us. Here," Jace said in slow curt language.
"Poppycock." Grandma lifted a cup of tea to her lips and chuckled. "I do love that word." With a sigh she took another sip. "Tea?"
I took the tea just so I'd have something to do.
Jace took a long sip and closed his eyes. He was probably trying to find his center, or whatever people called it.
"Is it bedroom trouble?"
Jace spit out his tea all over the table.
"Oh," Grandma's face fell, "how difficult that must be for you, Beth, to have a man who can't…" She cleared her throat then mouthed, perform.
"That's it."
Jace lunged for Grandma, but I mom-armed him and handed him his tea again, much like a mom would hand a kid a ball to keep him distracted.
"Listen, Grandma…" I used my calm voice, which sounded a lot like my pissed-off voice, only not as loud. "You drugged us, brought us here under false pretenses, forced us into a couples' retreat where we have to go to therapy as if we're a real couple, and now this? You, as our therapist? Excuse us if we aren't exactly in a great mood."
Grandma set her tea down and sighed. "Grandma Nadine isn't here at the moment. Hold one second." She reached for her purse and pulled out a leopard scarf then proceeded to wrap it around her neck, put on another application of lipstick, and then popped a cinnamon Tic Tac in her mouth. "Alright, now you may refer to me as Grandma Nadine. I have to separate the two titles for HIPPA privacy issues, you understand."
"Fine. Grandma," I clenched my teeth together, "you said you put your meddling behind you, and you're worse than ever!"
"I see that you're confused." Grandma shook her head. "I apologized for drugging you, brought you here to protect you from the media and give you a vacation, Beth, and used my own money to give you a free stay at one of the US's top ten honeymooning locations. Now, did I leave anything out?"
My mouth snapped shut.
Jace's eyes narrowed.
"Nobody said you had to participate in therapy." Grandma shrugged. "I just thought it would be beneficial. Take it or leave it."
"We'll leave it," Jace answered, standing up.
"Alright, I'll let Dr. Z know that you've refused treatment." Grandma smiled into her tea.
"Wait." I held up my hand. "What happens if we refuse treatment?"
"Oh nothing, dear, don't be such a worrywart." She licked her lips and hid her smile behind her tea cup.