But that was it. No, seriously. It was all I had. My body was normal, not too big, not too small. And I officially sounded like Goldilocks from The Three Bears.
"Was he mean to you?" Char squeezed my hand. She'd always been the type to fight first, ask questions later.
I loved her for it.
"Nah," I lied. "He was a perfect gentleman. Not too bad for a senator."
"Senator my ass," Char hissed. "He's slimy, that one."
"I thought you liked him?" I argued.
"Liked." Char sniffled. "Past tense. I liked him before he stole you away from the wedding reception. I liked him before I found out you were plastered against his naked chest for hours on end. And I liked him before he started staring at your ass as if it held secrets to national security."
"He was staring at my ass?" I asked in a much-too-hopeful voice. Bad Beth. Very bad.
"Not the time, Beth." Char's eyes narrowed. "Remember what happened with Brett? And Steve? And John?"
"Stop naming men from my past before I kill myself," I muttered.
Kacey didn't say anything. She watched our exchange with interest, her mouth turned upward in a smile as she looked between Jace and me.
"He is cute," she finally said.
Um, actually he was a god. No really, ask Marvel Comics.
"Kace…" Char warned. "Cute is for puppies. Not politicians."
"Let's go!" Grandma shouted above the boys fighting and the girls laughing next to me.
"Go get 'em, tiger." Char pinched my butt. "Make him work for it."
"Work for it?" I asked innocently. I had a sneaking suspicion she didn't mean actual work, as in giving him math formulas and solving for Z. But something way harder, like actually trying to be sexy.
Char's answer was to nudge Kacey and laugh. Was I missing something? Shrugging, I summed it up to being overly exhausted and tugged my purse over my arm. Dinner. One dinner. And then I was going to find some Hawaiian man in a loin cloth to rub coconut oil all over me and say big words like electromagnetic and ionic… bummer. I was my own ionic bond. No matter how many times I'd wished I could stick to something, it hadn't happened.
Crap. I had no charge. I so wanted to charge. I needed a charge.
"You okay?" Jace asked, once we fell into step behind Grandma.
"Do I have a charge?"
"Huh?"
"A charge," I repeated.
"Like a card?"
"Like a bond."
"I think I'm confused."
I sighed heavily. "Ionic bonds. They're formed when charged particles stick together. I think I'm chargeless."
Jace's face lit up with humor. "Chargeless, huh? Is that your professional opinion?"
"I'm going to the ladies' room! Damn wine!" Grandma yelled and stomped off, leaving Jace and in the very romantic spot people like to call the wall between the ladies' and men's restrooms. Toilet flushing was our romantic music, and the smell of Mexican food floated through the air.
Again. Clearly I was chargeless.
"So…" Jace leaned against the wall.
"So?"
"Your professional opinion. Is that it? That you have no charge?"
"Yup." Another toilet flushed. Awesome. I almost wanted to cheer for that person. I mean if you can't cheer for someone having a successful bowel movement, really, what can you cheer for?
"Great." He grabbed my arms, pulling me into his embrace. Toilets continued to flush, but I focused my attention on his lips as they moved. "Now, here's mine."
His kiss was tender, elusive. I leaned into him, and I was rewarded for my efforts as his hot mouth pushed harder against mine. Without warning, he pulled back.
"Beth," his hoarse voice washed over my body, giving me chills, "you're looking at it wrong. The problem isn't your damn charge. It's that you don't even realize you had it in the first place. If you don't know what you have, how can you use it? So you want to form an ionic bond? I call bullshit. Why would you want to bond with another person's energy when you have your own? Why bond when you're a continuous spectrum?"
"You used big science words." Right, that's all I had after his speech.
Jace's eyes flashed with amusement. "Sometimes. It happens. I did go to school, you know."
"It was like dirty talk, only hotter." I leaned in closer as his smile grew.
He leaned forward, touching his forehead to mine. "There's more where that came from."
"You called me a continuous spectrum." I grinned, feeling all warm and fuzzy all the way down to my toes.
"It was a compliment."
His lips were so close I could almost taste his peppermint gum.
"I know."
"Beth," he gently pushed me away, "stop worrying about attracting things you don't want to attract." He cleared his throat and ran his hand through his overly long blond hair. Was he referring to himself? Was I attracting him? "Trust me, the right guy will come along, and when he does, it will be amazing. Until then, just keep shining. You're beautiful, you're smart, and you have a lot going for you. Don't let yourself become your worst enemy."
Stunned, I could only stare at him and wish… that's what I was doing. I was willing or wishing him to say screw it and kiss me again. I wanted him to want me, and I hated that I was so weak that I felt like I needed a person of the opposite sex to affirm that I was attractive.
"Well!" Grandma strolled out of the bathroom and swore. "Some people just can't handle dairy products, and that's that!" Her eyes narrowed. "What's going on here?"
"Science lesson." Jace put his arm around me. "A little ionic-bond lesson."
"Damn bonds." Grandma hauled her giant leopard purse over her shoulder and winced. "I'll tell you about bonds. The government makes you buy them, and then you wait years — years, I tell you!"
"And an economics lesson," I added. "What a day."
"I'm a starved lion. And I about croaked in that god-forsaken hellhole they call a bathroom. Let's go." Grandma pointed to the doors and scurried away.
Jace chuckled and followed after her, leaving me trailing behind the two of them. Why did he keep kissing me if he wanted to keep me away? And why did I care? Thor was kissing me. This was cause for celebration not contemplation. But, of course, in true spinster fashion, all I could do was focus on the fact that he'd told me I was a spectrum, and sadly that was one of the nicest thing any man had ever said to me.