Once there, he pulled me around, pushed me into the shelves and got in my space and my face.
Deep in the first, way close to the other.
“You kissed Smithie?”
I was not following. I had no idea how I was one second in one place, another second standing with Ren in my space. And I had no idea because I was totally freaked due to his actions breaking a very important breakup law.
Maybe the most important there was.
That was, if you shared friends and acquaintances, during breakups any guy who wasn’t a dick didn’t show their faces for ages. Ren was also classy. And classy guys gave you plenty of time to get over it so the hit when you saw them again didn’t kill you. It just maimed.
So by my estimation I had at least five months and twenty-nine days before I saw him again.
And anyway, what he asked made no sense whatsoever.
“Come again?”
He pushed deeper into me and growled, in a statement this time, “You kissed Smithie.”
Was he suggesting I’d made out with Smithie?
And thus, was he high?
“I… no, I…” I trailed off.
Pull it together Ally!
“You kissed him on the cheek,” Ren gritted out.
Oh.
I did do that.
“Well, uh, yes. I did that,” I confirmed.
“You don’t kiss people’s cheeks,” he stated.
This was true.
But why had he come all the way there and broken the most important breakup law there was in order to tell me this?
“Zano—”
He pressed so close, I stopped speaking. I also lost my ability to breathe when his hand cupped me under my jaw and gently pushed my head back as his face came so close he was all I could see.
Once he had me in position, he bit out, “Ren.”
I blinked, and in that instant, I pulled myself together.
Therefore, I put a hand to his abs, firm and communicative, and snapped, “What the f**k is going on?”
“You wanna be a PI, there’s office space across the hall from me. Dom enquired about it. The way shit is with this economy, it’s been vacant for six months, no one even sniffing. They’re desperate to make something on it, so they offered a large discount for the first year. It’s not big; reception, big office, small office, small kitchenette and decent-sized conference room. I signed the lease, bought your first year.”
My mouth would have dropped open if his hand wasn’t at my jaw.
So instead I just felt my eyes get wide and stared.
He kept talking.
“I wasn’t going to make a big deal out of it because I want you however you come to me. But I’ll say it now, it’s important I bring up my family in my faith and it’s important my future wife is a part of that. You offered me that possibility without me even asking.”
At that, I would have swallowed if his hand wasn’t at my jaw.
So instead I just kept staring.
He got even closer so it was only his eyes that I could see, and his voice dropped near to a whisper.
“You know what I do. You come from who you come from, and I know your meeting with your family last night was about that. And you wanted to give me the opportunity to be a part of that meeting, also givin’ me the shot to start without delay in showin’ your people what you mean to me. I do not know how you feel about what I do because you just let me do it. My guess, I forced that issue, I’d learn you didn’t like it much. You still just let me do it. You could have thrown that shit in my face last night, but you didn’t utter a single f**kin’ word. Which shows me that it’s so embedded in what you give me that it wasn’t even a consideration to draw that blade. Which tells me you take me as I come.”
It was then, I was breathing heavily.
But Ren wasn’t done
“And I didn’t return that favor.”
Oh my God.
Was this happening?
Hot hit my eyes and he kept right on going.
“I’m not a maximum contact sleeper, Ally. You are.”
I gasped because this wasn’t true. I wasn’t.
That was, not with anyone but him.
Before I could sort that in my head, Ren kept going.
“Never held a woman all night in my arms in my life… until you.”
Oh shit.
I felt the wet in my eyes because I was thinking this was happening.
He kept at me.
“And last night, because I was a f**kin’ dick, I didn’t have you in my arms. I didn’t like that. Even when you thought we were f**k buddies, you gave me that.”
Oh God.
“Ren,” I whispered.
“You want this. And what you want to do means so much to you that you would let me be who I am, look into accepting my faith, love me that much, but walk away. Then you take that hurt so deep, you’re on autopilot, lettin’ out the woman inside you hold close and only dole out occasionally, but give to me. And you do shit like kiss Smithie to say hello when you never would do that shit. It means that much, then you can have it. And me. I’ll worry, but I’ll learn to trust you. All I ask is, when you got my babies inside you, you take cases you know are safe, and once we got kids under our roof, you proceed with the same caution. You with me?”
“I… are you… are you saying…?” I took in a breath. “Are you saying that you’re okay with me starting a private investigations agency?”
“No. I’m not saying that. I’m sayin’ I’ll work at it and try to be.”
Oh God.
I couldn’t stop it. A tear slid out of the side of my eye.
Ren’s hand finally moved from my jaw so it could cup my cheek, but his thumb kept moving in order to sweep away the tear.
But his eyes never left mine as he whispered, “I love you, Ally. I was pissed and worried. Lucky said you had a gun on you and that undid me. You not callin’ and tellin’ me that shit was gonna go down didn’t make things better. You came home and were immediately cool. I was not in a place where I could be cool so I was a dick.” He dipped his head, his mouth touched mine and he kept his lips there when he finished, “I’m sorry, baby.”
Yep. Not only was this happening; it happened.
I hiccoughed back a silent sob and shoved my face in his neck.
Both his arms closed around me. They did this tight and I felt this jaw press to the side of my head.
He was going to give himself to me at the same time take me as me.
This.
Was.
Righteous.
Oh shit.
This was a disaster!
I took two deep breaths to pull myself together, but kept my face firm in his neck when I started, “Uh… Ren—”