After that, I moved slowly to the door, through it and to my car.
Ren didn’t follow me.
* * * * *
I walked up to my childhood home in Bonnie Brae and walked right through the front door without knocking (seeing as it was my childhood home, this wasn’t rude; and anyway, they were expecting me).
Lee’s Crossfire and Hank’s 4Runner were at the curb, so I knew the gang was all there.
When I got inside, I found they were all hanging in the living room.
Dad, Hank and Lee had beers. Mom had, what looked to my practiced eye, a margarita in a regular glass.
I could use a margarita, sans the margarita mix, of course.
But I didn’t have time to ask. I wanted this done. I wanted to get back to Ren’s. I wanted to get my shit. Then I wanted to get somewhere no one could see me and have a complete mental collapse.
It didn’t escape me when I walked in that no one with two eyes in their heads would not click that we were a family. We all had the same hair, even Mom and Dad. Hank and I had whisky-colored eyes while Lee had chocolate brown, but other than that we were all tall and lean. The men had more bulk, but we all had the same frames.
I’d always liked this. Even as a kid. Belonging to this family. Belonging to these people. And knowing no one could mistake that they were a part of me.
And also knowing what I knew was in them when their eyes turned to me.
Whatever this was going to be changed the instant every single one of them got a look at me.
They knew.
They knew inside I was bleeding.
“Honey, are you—?” Mom started, and I straightened my shoulders.
“I suspect,” I cut her off to start, “that part of the reason I’m here is because you’re not happy I’m with Ren Zano. So, in order not to waste anybody’s time, I’ll let you know that doesn’t factor anymore because before I came over here, I ended things with him.”
“Jesus,” Hank muttered, studying me closely.
“Ally—” Lee started.
Dad and Mom just stared at me.
As for me, I kept talking.
“The rest, so you can target your comments, I got fired from Brother’s two days ago and decided to start a private investigations agency. This is why Ren and I are no longer together. He’s violently opposed to that idea and wants me to consider a career as a barista before I move into my tenure as a stay-at-home mom.”
Dad’s eyes moved to Lee and Hank.
Mom’s mouth got tight.
I kept speaking.
“I’m not down with that. He’s unwilling to see my point of view. So that’s done. What’s not done is the fact that Daisy is looking for office space to rent and I’ve tentatively taken her on as my receptionist.” I looked to Hank. “And you may or may not know, but Roxie has started designing a website for me.” I looked to Mom. “And Ava is mocking up logos. So it’s all a go. I’ll be sitting down with Daisy after Luke and Ava’s wedding to organize a business plan, and shortly after we’ll be actively recruiting clients.”
I took in a breath and kept going.
“I intend to get licensed eventually, and Darius is approaching Sylvie Bissenette so I can work with her and acquire the hours I need to approach the Licensing Board. Until that all takes off, I’ll continue to work at Fortnum’s with Indy.”
I threw out a hand and moved to my conclusion.
“If I’m willing to lose Ren for this, the man I love, the man who loves me, the man I fell in love with the first night we met, then I’m willing to do anything for this. In other words, you won’t talk me out of it. But because I love you all and respect you, I’ll listen to what you have to say.”
After that, I shut up.
Dad looked at Mom.
Mom only had eyes for me.
“Maybe you and me can go into the kitchen, get you a drink and have a chat,” Mom suggested gently.
This meant she wanted to ascertain just how cut up I was about ending things with Ren.
I had no intention of going there. Not until I was alone with a bottle of tequila.
“I have things to do tonight, so thanks Mom, but that’s gonna be a no,” I replied.
“I’m thinkin’ we should delay this meeting until you’re in a better state of mind, honey.” This came from Hank and it was also suggested gently.
I looked to him and saw his expression was just as gentle.
My brother was awesome. Both of them were.
Still, I shook my head. “I’m thinking we should get this over with.”
“You, Hank and me, we’re going to The Hornet,” Lee stated and I looked at him. “And I’m calling Indy.”
This meant he was worried about me and didn’t want to discuss my career path, but wanted to call in reinforcements (namely Indy) who could see to my broken heart while he and Hank paid for tequila shooters.
See?
Awesome.
“Thanks, bro, but that’s also a no,” I whispered.
“Sweetheart—” Dad started, and my eyes got instantly hot just hearing that word.
When you’re a kid and a girl, dads had superpowers. They could heal any hurt, usually with a word said just like that one. Or, if shit was extreme, if he added a hug, it would all go away.
My dad’s superpowers were finely honed.
But they didn’t extend to this kind of healing.
“No, Dad,” I whispered. I looked through my family and requested, “Can we please just get this done?”
“We’ll talk Monday,” Hank declared. “You come to Lee’s office. We’ll all be there.”
“Hank, we’re here. Why can’t we just do this now?” I asked.
“Because we’re not doing it now,” Lee said. “We’re doing it Monday. Five thirty. My office.”
I looked from one brother to the other.
Fuck.
“Fine,” I snapped. “Now I gotta go.” I looked through my brothers again and finished, “I’ll see you tomorrow at the rehearsal.”
“Ally, why don’t you stay and eat dinner with your dad and me?” Mom asked, and I looked to her.
“You’re cool with it, I’ll come over for dinner on Sunday,” I offered an alternate, which might appease her even if it would not do it totally.
At least it was something.
She looked to Dad then back at me and nodded.
“Later,” I murmured, turning and giving them a low wave.
“Allyson,” Dad called, and I sucked in breath and turned back. When I caught his eyes, he said softly, “You’re loved, sweetheart.”