I decided I also liked his neck so once I was done kissing his chest I shifted up and kissed his neck. Since I was at his neck, I saw that I had, indeed, given him a hickey the night before and even though that was silly, juvenile and highly embarrassing, secretly I liked my mark on him so I kissed that too.
You also like his jaw, Good Ava reminded me.
She was right. I did like his jaw. Luke had a great, strong jaw.
So I kissed Luke’s jaw.
You also like his… Bad Ava started but Good Ava threw her halo at Bad Ava, it bonked off Bad Ava’s head so Bad Ava snapped at Good Ava, Hey!
“Babe,” Luke said softly, his voice husky with sleep, his arms coming around me.
I lifted my head to look at him, planting my hands on his chest, moving closer to his face and still in my dreamy, pretend happy place, I smiled and whispered, “Good morning.”
That’s when I noticed his face. It was soft and his eyes were sleepy, warm, inky and completely unguarded.
Whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Stop right there.
Before I could react, retreat or even take the moment to memorize that look leveled at me, his hands came to my hair, pulling it off my shoulders to bunch it the back of my head. One hand shifted my hair to his other hand and the fingers of his free hand drifted down my back. His head came up and he brushed his lips against mine.
He settled back into the pillows and his warm, unguarded eyes roamed my face as I lay there frozen. Good Ava was twirling with delight, a la Maria in the mountains at the beginning of The Sound of Music while Bad Ava had her face in her hands and was shaking her head.
Luke’s eyes settled back on mine and, softly, he murmured, “Christ, you’re beautiful.”
At his words my blood turned to ice. The pretend happy place around me exploded and I found I was in the polar arctic, surrounded by snow and wasteland.
What was I doing? What, on earth, was I doing? How had I let it get this far?
No.
No, no, no.
This was wrong. It wasn’t right, it was very, very wrong.
What I was, and forever would be, was Fatty, Fatty, Four-Eyes.
What I was not was beautiful.
Without a word, I jerked away from him and rolled to a seated position on the side of the bed, nothing but escape on my mind. I had no idea where I was going but I was going there and fast. I almost had my feet on the floor when his arm sliced around my waist and I was yanked back, across his lap.
“Where are you…?” he started but I was struggling, out-of-control kicking and hitting, my fists connecting with his flesh.
I had struggled against Luke before but not like this. It was like it was life or death. And in a way it was life or death because what I just learned about Luke was just like dying and all I knew was I had to get away.
“What the f**k?” Luke clipped, getting hold of my wrists and forcing my back to the bed using his torso. My h*ps still in his lap and my legs useless, he half-pinned me, pressing my wrists against the bed at the sides of my head.
“Get off me!” I shrieked, desperate, panicked and out of my mind.
“Jesus,” he muttered, staring at my face.
I bucked and pushed against his hands at my wrists. “Get off!”
“Ava, talk to me,” Luke demanded. “What the f**k’s going on?”
“Off!” I cried, my voice hitching as tears clogged my throat. I choked them down and started fighting again. Surprisingly, I got a wrist free and somehow slid away but he yanked me back, rolled full on top of me and caught my wrists again, jerking them over my head.
“Let me go,” I said.
“Talk to me.”
“Let… me… go!” I yelled and bucked viciously.
“Talk, damnit!” he barked in my face.
I stilled at the fury in his voice and, for some reason, talked. “This game… or whatever it is you’re playing with me… is bad enough but don’t you ever lie to me, Lucas Stark.” At that point, I was ignoring the fact that I lied freely to him.
But mine were fibs. This was huge.
His body went solid and his fingers tightened on my wrists. “Woman, you better f**kin’ explain yourself,” he warned and even though a chill went through me at his tone, I forged ahead.
“I know I’m a challenge, I know how you guys like that. You even told me last night you were enjoying this.” I closed my eyes tight at the memory, opened them again and then went on. “I am such a dork. I should have just given in right off so you could get your fill and get rid of me.” I stopped talking and shook my head in disbelief, at myself, too caught up in my own drama to feel the dangerous, angry electricity emanating from Luke and hitting the room. “You have what you want, Luke. You like to be straight, okay this is straight. We’ll stop playing this game. You win. You and I both know I’m not going anywhere, no matter how much I fight it. Take what you want and then leave me alone when you’re done with me but in the meantime, don’t f**king lie to me.”
When I was done, he spoke and his words came through his teeth. “We got a lot to go over here, babe. We’ll start with when you thought I lied to you.”
I didn’t make him wait for an answer. “You just called me beautiful. We both know that isn’t true. You want me to clue in? You clue in, Luke. Hello? I’ve had a crush on you since I first saw you. I wish it wasn’t true but the fact of the matter is, I’m a sure thing. You don’t have to lie and tell me I’m beautiful.”
“You’ve got to be f**kin’ shittin’ me,” he was still talking through his teeth.
“Oh yeah? And why’s that? Luke, you’ve seen me. You’ve known me since I was eight years old.”
“Yeah, I have, and you’ve been beautiful since you were eight years old.”
My eyes went instantly wide and my mouth dropped open. Then I snapped it shut.
I couldn’t believe he was still playing that game.
“Fuck off!” I yelled and bucked again.
He didn’t go anywhere, he just stared at me.
If it was possible, he sounded even angrier when he said, “Shit, they really did a number on you, didn’t they?”
“Who?”
“That mother and those f**kin’ sisters of yours.”
I rolled my eyes. “Oh please,” I said and then made a noise that sounded like “foof”.
“Do I have to drag you in front of a mirror?”
“I know what I look like, Luke,” I snapped.
“Doesn’t sound like it to me, babe.”