“Layne –” she began.
He interrupted her. “Don’t lock yourself in your head, sweetcheeks, talk to me.”
Her head tipped to the side. “About what?”
“Cassie was a one night stand,” he told her straight out, her eyes got wide then shut down, Layne ignored it and kept talking. “Ma was takin’ the boys to Disneyworld. I’m not a Disneyworld type of guy so I wasn’t goin’ with them. They were gonna leave at oh dark thirty and I went out the night before to meet a friend of mine who lives down in Florida now. I met Cassie while we were out. I came home as they were leavin’ and Ma’s not stupid. But Cassie knew my friend, he gave her my number, she called my cell while we were still there and Ma picked it up. Ma never even met her and I only saw her that once.”
“You don’t have to explain this to me, Layne.”
“Yeah, Roc, I do.”
The blank went out of her eyes as they started to ignite then she said, “Okay, then I don’t want you to explain this to me, Layne.”
“I know you don’t, but you need me to.”
“I don’t think so.”
“I do.”
“Why?”
“’Cause I had a life for eighteen years and you’re gonna hear about it and when you get upset or your feelings hurt, I want you to talk to me about it and not lock yourself in your head.”
“I lock myself in my head to sort things out,” she told him.
“Yeah, baby, but once you locked yourself in your head and locked me out.”
She froze against him then started to pull away but he yanked her right back and when she struggled, he rolled so she was on her back and his weight was on her.
She stilled and glared up at him.
“Why am I always asking you to get off me?” she snapped.
“I don’t know, probably because you’re always tryin’ to take off when I’m not done talkin’ to you.” he clipped.
“Get off me,” she bit out.
“We’re not done talkin’,” he shot back.
“We are,” she informed him. “See, you just threw that in my face which tells me you’re not passed it and it also tells me you’re not going to get passed it so maybe all this was a bad idea.”
“I didn’t throw it in your face, sweetcheeks.”
“You damn well did!”
Layne cupped her cheek in his hand and dipped his face into hers. “You’re pissed at Ma, takin’ it out on me and I’m tryin’ to smooth it out. I’m not throwing anything in your face. I’m tryin’ to get you to talk.”
“Well, maybe I don’t want to talk.”
“I had a life, Rocky.”
“I know.”
“There were women in it.”
“Trust me, Layne, I know.”
“None of them was you,” he went on.
“I know that too,” she snapped.
“So, except for the one I married ‘cause I got her pregnant, none of them even so much as had a toothbrush at my place.”
She snapped her mouth shut and stared at him.
Then she asked, “Really?”
“Really.”
“Not even a toothbrush?”
“I was seeing Melody for four years and she tried to leave at least three toothbrushes, a box of tampons and pair of underwear at my place. I found ‘em and I put ‘em in her purse. She eventually got the message and quit trying.”
Rocky stared up at him with her lips parted.
Then she asked, “Why?”
“Why?” Layne repeated.
“Yeah, why?”
Layne took his hand from her cheek, pulled in an impatient breath and tipped his head back to look at the wall before looking down at her and explaining, “Baby, ‘cause she wasn’t you.”
Rocky stared at him. Then the fire in her eyes went out.
“Poor Melody,” she whispered and she didn’t know the half of it.
Layne knew Melody was in deep with him, he even tried to find it in her, he just couldn’t but she never pulled away, she kept trying, kept hoping one day she’d get in. She never did. He should have cut her loose ages ago but even if she wasn’t Rocky, she was the closest he’d had.
“It’s over with her,” Layne stated and Rocky’s body relaxed beneath him.
“Does she know how to make Milky Way cake?” she asked softly.
“Ma taught her but Melody is not a kitchen person. Melody is a get dressed up, wait at the bar for an hour and half for a table and then eat a fifty dollar meal person.”
“That doesn’t seem your style,” Rocky noted.
“It isn’t.”
“I like to get dressed up,” she informed him, “um… every once in awhile.”
“Baby, you wear that dress you wore the other night, I’ll take you out where you can get dressed up every f**kin’ night.”
She grinned. “That’s not even my best dress.”
Jesus.
“Seriously?” Layne asked.
“Seriously,” Rocky answered. “I have this one, it’s clingier and shorter and –”
Layne’s brows shot up. “Clingier?”
“Yeah.”
“And shorter?”
“Uh… yeah.”
He rolled to his back, his arm over his eyes, muttering, “Shit. You’re killin’ me.”
She rolled into him, put her hand on his chest and called, “Layne,” he dropped his arm and looked at her, “how am I killing you?”
“Because Rutledge stares at your tits, Gaines stares at your ass and every other man who lays eyes on you finds somethin’ to stare at. This does not exactly make me happy.”
“Baby,” she whispered. “If I wear that dress, it’s just for you.”
He looked up at her and her eyes were half-mast, her mouth soft and he liked that look so much, that look directed at him again, finally, after all these years, that he lifted his hand to her jaw and ran his thumb along her cheekbone.
She turned her face into his hand, looked at his chest and kept whispering. “I wasn’t in my head because of Cassie and Melody.” Her eyes came back to his. “It was because I f**ked up and your Mom talking made me realize just how badly I did it.”
“Rocky –”
She shook her head and kept talking. “I missed those birthdays and Christmases and horseback rides. I tried to remind myself while she was talking that if I didn’t, Jasper and Tripp wouldn’t be in that room but it didn’t make me feel much better.”