“Yes,” Lucien replied, not looking or sounding very reassured.
I decided to change the subject to a far happier one. “Why did they change their minds so suddenly about immortals mating mortals?”
“They had their reasons,” he answered vaguely.
It had to be said, I wasn’t in the mood for vague. I’d had a lot of vague not to mention seriously vague (in other words, stuff kept from me). Therefore I was so over vague.
“Seems strange,” I probed, “all the trouble they took, all the heartbreak they caused, five hundred years and then, poof,” I fluttered a hand in the air, “whatever. Mate with mortals. We don’t care.”
Lucien grinned then clarified, “All right, my love, how about they had very good reasons.”
“War?” I whispered.
“Yes, amongst other things.”
“Etienne told me about their plans and –”
“Don’t worry about it.”
Don’t worry about it? Was he crazy?
“Lucien, what he told me was pretty scary. And they didn’t say it straight out but it seemed you’re a specific target. How am I not supposed to worry about that?”
His arms gave me a squeeze. His voice was low and firm when he repeated, “Leah, my love, don’t worry about it. You know I can take care of myself. What I must do is be certain I take better care of you.”
That was nice, very nice. Still, I studied him and I did it closely.
Then I noted, “You’re not going to share, are you?”
“Not now, no. I need to have a meeting with a member of The Council, discuss things and if it’s safe for you to know, I’ll tell you.”
I had a feeling I had no choice but to leave it at that. So I left it at that and changed the subject again.
“You didn’t feed,” I whispered and his arms gave me another squeeze.
“You don’t like me taking from anyone but you. I don’t like to feed from anyone but you. So I didn’t feed until I found you.”
God, that was so sweet.
“Thank you,” I said softly and Lucien leaned into me to touch his mouth to mine.
When he pulled away again, I held his eyes.
I didn’t want to go where we had to go but we had to go there. We were starting an eternity together. There were a few things to get straight.
“You kept a lot from me,” I said quietly trying not to make an accusation sound like one.
“I did, pet, and I’m sorry,” he replied.
“Why?” I asked.
Lucien sighed then pulled me closer. “First, I didn’t tell you about the restrictions against physical intimacy and living together because I knew you well already. And knowing you, I knew I had my hands full. I didn’t need you having more ammunition to use to keep yourself from me.”
This, I had to admit, was true.
“Second, I didn’t tell you about Maggie because it served no purpose.”
“It’s a part of you, a part of your history,” I reminded him. “And I was falling in love with you. But even if I wasn’t we were sharing our lives together and would being doing so for a while. You already knew everything about me and you had to know I wanted to know everything about you.
“I did, sweetheart, but I’ll remind you we’ve known each other a very short time and only a small portion of that has been time you’ve let me in. I cannot say, had my father not intervened, if I would have told you. But it’s likely. You’re right, I intended for you to be a part of my life for years to come which would mean you being around my friends and family. There was a high probability someone might let something slip. Secrets have a way of revealing themselves and, I tell you true, when you learned about Maggie, I would have wanted it to come from me.”
“I believe you,” I said softly and that got me Lucien’s smile.
Then he went on gently, “Edwina told me what my father said. And part of it is true. I loved her. I thought I’d spend the rest of eternity with her and I was happy with that. We were together for seventy-five years. I was a young vampire when I met her but I knew my heart and her place in it.”
Okay, suddenly, I didn’t want to know so much about Maggie.
Lucien read my face and gathered me even closer as he leaned into me, pressing me partially on back and he kept going.
“But she died, Leah. Her death incensed me and I avenged it. It took decades, blood was spilled, lives were lost but I avenged Maggie’s. And baring this to you, you also need to know that until very recently, I had not recovered from her loss. That was how much I loved her. She was a good woman and she made me happy.” My face must have given something away because Lucien got closer and his arms got tighter. “She was a good woman, my love, and she made me happy. I missed her. I hate having the knowledge in my brain that she endured what she endured prior to her death at the hands of my people simply because she fell in love with a vampire. And that love will always be true. But I have not lied to you the times I told you I’d never had more beautiful than what I have with you. You are what I’ve been looking for for five hundred years. You and me, we were meant to be. Maggie was my mate but she is gone. You are my lifemate.”
I sucked in breath as my heart flipped over and whispered, “You believe in lifemates?”
“I didn’t until the day you told me you loved me and I could no longer deny I felt the same for you. Then I did. Absolutely.”
His tone was firm, his eyes held mine, his gaze was unwavering and intense.
He meant it. Absolutely.
“Even running from you, believing your father, still, the pain I felt losing you, I often thought if we were in a romance novel, we’d be lifemates,” I admitted.
Lucien’s eyes grew warm and his arms relaxed.
“I’m sorry you lost her and the way you lost her, Lucien,” I whispered.
“I am too,” Lucien whispered back.
I kept going. “And I’m sorry I believed Etienne, took off and didn’t talk to you.”
His lips twitched and he repeated, “I am too.”
“Still,” I started to defend myself, “you kept things from me and –”
His hand came up to curve around my jaw and his thumb slid to press against my lips.
“My father attacking you was his decision, he carried it through and he’ll bear the consequences.” His thumb slid from my lip and along my cheek. “But you are correct. It was me who kept things from you, even after the taming was complete, which left it open for my father to plant those seeds. That was my error in judgment. And I left you unprotected. I didn’t think I would be gone that long. I had no idea they were lying in wait to instigate their plan. And even if they did, I must admit I’m shocked that any of them touched you, even my father. Scared you. Warned you. Threatened you. Shared things with you I was keeping from you. Yes. Touched you. No. Not any of them and especially not my father.”