He kept his lips against hers as his hand worked its magic but he didn’t kiss her. He’d opened his eyes and they bored into hers as his hand sent electrifying shockwaves of pleasure shooting through her body.
Finally, he said against her mouth as his thumb swirled and she cried out sharply as he brought her closer, ever so closer. “You’re not leaving me, Lily.”
She shook her head.
“Say it,” he growled.
She pressed against his hand, so close, she was nearly there.
“Please, Nate.”
“Say it!” he demanded.
“Nate,” she breathed against his mouth, one hand coming up to delve into his hair, hold his face to hers.
“Lily.” His voice was a low, velvet rumble.
She opened her half-shut eyes and looked directly into his black ones.
“I’m not leaving you, Nate. I’ll never leave you,” Lily declared, her voice trembling with a feeling that had nothing at all to do with what his fingers were doing. A feeling that had everything to do with what was in her heart. What had been in her heart since she was fourteen years old and what she knew was her wish come true when Nate had saved her from the purse snatcher.
And then his mouth crushed down on hers and he let her soar, his hand taking her to glorious heights, where he always took her. His mouth absorbed her cry of pleasure as her hands clutched at him, her h*ps pressing into his fingers.
As the shudders receded, he fell to his side, gently pulling her with him and righting her skirt at the same time. Then he cradled her in his arms protectively, slowly stroking her back.
Her face was pressed into his throat and she felt vulnerable and exposed. He had taken her to a beautiful place but he did not join her there.
Still removed. Always removed one way or another.
“Nate?” she mumbled against his throat.
“Mm?” He was in his own place again, his own thoughts, far, far away from her. She was beginning to recognise when he was with her and when he was gone.
Quietly, in a voice so small she was surprised he heard it, she whispered scant words that held deep meaning, “I need you here, with me.”
His hand stopped stroking and his arms tightened around her, taking her breath.
“You have me.”
She shook her head against his neck, mutely denying his words.
“You have me, Lily. I promise.”
She knew she didn’t.
But Lily experienced a colossal change of mind. A life changing one.
Even an earth shattering one.
Instead of putting all her energies into guarding her heart against him (which clearly wasn’t working, it was Nate), she was going to try to open his heart to her. She was going to use everything that was in her power, such as it was, maybe even go so far as to use her last wish to open his heart.
She had no idea if she would succeed but, Lily determined in that instant, she was damn well going to try.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Nate
Nate left the office early wishing to get home.
Home.
Where Lily and Natasha were.
And, of course, Fazire.
Tash had called, telling him there was a surprise waiting for him there.
He couldn’t imagine what kind of surprise it could be, in the month since Lily’s dramatic tirade, complete with tossing clothes out of the wardrobe, his life had been full of surprises.
Pleasant surprises. Extraordinary surprises.
The kind of surprises and the possible intent behind them being something he’d very much like to believe, but found, through years of experience with disappointment, he could not.
* * * * *
It had started the next morning after Lily’s scene.
She had woken early, very early. She slid quietly out of bed obviously making an effort not to disturb Nate. This effort was for naught as she knocked into the bed twice, cursed under her breath and nearly fell over as she dressed. Knowing she was being careful for his sake, Nate kept his eyes closed when what he wanted to do was drag her warm body back into bed.
When time passed and she didn’t return, Nate got up, pulled on a pair of jeans and went in search of her.
He found her in the kitchen wearing a pair of very short, thin, cotton drawstring shorts patterned in stripes of soft pink and purple that showed off her long, shapely legs. With this, she wore a pink camisole and an old grey cardigan which had seen better days and which he immediately decided to replace with something else, something new, something made of cashmere.
She was standing in the middle of the kitchen with her hands on her h*ps staring at the countertop with what appeared to be confusion.
Wondering at her mood after of their row the day before, Nate approached her from behind silently on bare feet and cautiously slid his arms around her waist.
The afternoon before she’d promised not to leave him, said she would never leave, but Nate didn’t trust that. He’d learned early not to trust and nothing had happened in his life to alter that lesson.
He knew she wanted more from him, she wanted it all and he couldn’t give it to her. He felt, as he did eight years before, like he was living on borrowed time, like once she found out who he really was she’d not only want to stay far away but now keep Tash from him as well.
And Nate wouldn’t allow that. And to stop it from happening, he’d do whatever he had to do, including keeping his past from the both of them.
Not that Lily was giving her all to him. The open-hearted Lily who let her excitement at life bubble out of her at the slightest provocation was gone. The laughing Lily who told stories about her beloved family had faded. No matter what he did to rectify his past mistakes, to erase the last eight years of her making do and scraping by, she was still different.
Wary, watchful and closed.
She jumped when he touched her and whirled, nearly knocking his chin with her head and her soft, fragrant hair whipped across his face.
“Nate!” she cried, her expression clearly showing disappointment at seeing him and he felt something lurch painfully in his gut. She looked over her shoulder at the countertop then back at him and announced on an exaggerated pout, “You’ve spoiled my surprise.”
Then she stunned him by sliding her hands around his waist and tilting her head to the side, the disappointment fading as she gave him one of her quirky smiles. At the sight of it, he sucked in his breath and he felt every muscle in his body tense.
Her smile was exactly as he remembered. Not wary, not watchful, not closed in any way. Open, happy and one of the sweetest sights he’d seen in his life.
She leaned slightly into him, her br**sts brushing his bare chest, her chin forced to tilt back further so she could look into his eyes.