Maxine stopped chuckling quietly to let out a burst of raucous laughter and Lily smiled as she caught Laura’s hand to give it a reassuring squeeze.
Nate and Tash both looked around at the sound of Maxie’s laughter and Lily transferred her smile to her daughter. Then she swung it to Nate and it faltered.
He didn’t return her smile. He didn’t seem to be enjoying their jaunt during a sunny summer day. Nor did he seem happy that his whole family was together. He seemed wary, guarded, or more guarded than usual, and even poised for action.
What action that would be, Lily could not fathom.
“I think there’s something wrong with Nate,” Lily blurted out and Maxie and Laura turned startled eyes to her at the sound of the concern in her voice on what seemed such a happy day.
She watched as Nate turned away and guided Tash into the coffee shop just as Fazire cried, “Sandberg was an All Star, Golden Glove, MVP. He could do much more than kick a ball with his foot!”
At Fazire’s words, Victor’s face started to turn alarmingly purple.
“What do you mean, Lily?” Laura asked, cutting Lily’s attention away from Fazire’s heated outburst and Victor’s not surprising response.
Lily stopped dead on the pavement and watched Nate and Tash disappear into The Dozen. Laura and Maxie stopped too and Lily turned to them, looking from one woman to the other.
“I don’t know, I can’t describe it. He’s not the most happy-go-lucky person in the world. He’s always on edge in a way. But lately, he seems somehow…” she paused, fighting for words and not finding them, “more on edge.” She finished lamely.
Both Laura and Maxine shifted their gazes to the door of the coffee shop which Victor and Fazire were walking through both men’s arms gesticulating wildly. Then the women’s gazes swung to look at each other. Then they moved to look at Lily.
“Lily,” Laura said, “my son is a rather…” she seemed at a loss for words too and continued, “intense man.”
“You can say that again,” Maxie mumbled.
“I know that.” Lily lifted her hand to pull her hair back from her face and held it at the crown at the back of her head, tugging at it gently in frustration. “I can’t explain it so I’ll demonstrate it.”
Both women nodded encouragingly in perfect synch.
Lily carried on. “Whenever he’s near enough to touch me, he puts his hand at my waist like this…”
Lily dropped her hand and put one on both women’s hips, just like Nate did, her fingers pressing into their skin.
As Lily’s hands dropped away, Maxine said helpfully, “I think, sweetling, Nate is somewhat, er,” her gaze slid to Laura and then back to Lily, “possessive.”
“I know that too!” Lily cried and then continued. “But it’s not that. I swear it’s like he wants to fuse with me. I can’t explain it but it isn’t only that. He’s started to look at me like, I don’t know, like he thinks I’m going to… to… disappear, go up in smoke. Poof!” She exclaimed, lifting both of her hands to the sides of her face and splaying them dramatically with a whoosh.
Laura’s face slowly lit with understanding and Lily pounced on it immediately.
“What?”
Laura looked toward the coffee house and then back at Lily. Her understanding now tinged with something bittersweet and alarmingly sad, making Lily’s heart beat a little faster in hopes of learning something and in fear of what she might learn.
“It’s your anniversary,” she whispered.
“My what?” Lily asked, not expecting to hear that.
However, whatever Laura was talking about also dawned on Maxine.
“Dearie me, that it is,” Maxine breathed and she, too, looked in the direction of The Dozen, her face contemplative.
“What?” Lily exclaimed.
Laura put her hand out to touch Lily’s arm. “My darling, the last time… before…” She broke off and shook her head as if to clear it. Then she closed her eyes for a long moment clearly struggling with herself about something. When she opened them, they were bright and direct. “You disappeared after two weeks.”
Lily stared at her still confused. “And?”
Laura’s hand squeezed Lily’s arm. “And it’s been two weeks,” Laura finished as if that explained everything.
Lily shook her head, still not comprehending and Laura moved closer to her.
“The last time you were together, you disappeared into thin air after two weeks. Nathaniel left home in the morning and you were there. He came back in the evening and you were gone, not a trace of you left, just like you disappeared in a puff of smoke.” She paused as Lily’s eyes widened in understanding. “Now you’ve been back together for two weeks and Nathaniel, well, Nathaniel would know the significance of that. He’d remember it, he remembers everything.”
“But Laura, I didn’t disappear. We…” Lily stopped and bit her lip, then forged ahead. “We don’t have to go into that. But Nate knows that I didn’t go anywhere then and I’m not going anywhere now.”
Maxine chimed in. “The mind plays tricks on us, sweetling. We can know something rationally but not believe it. Trust me, I’m the most irrationally rational person there is, or is that the most rationally irrational?” she asked Laura and Laura gave her a weak smile.
“This is ridiculous, Nate can’t think…” She didn’t finish, couldn’t fathom it. He was there, she was there, Tash was there, the Roberts, even Fazire seemed to be behaving himself, or as close as Fazire could get. Then she started again. “I’m not going to go anywhere.”
Laura cut in. “There are things about Nate you don’t know.”
It was at these words that Lily’s frustration at not knowing about Nate, not understanding why his shields were up, why the impenetrable armour shrouded his heart, broke through like a rocket.
“Yes, you’re right. There is a lot that I don’t know about Nate,” she clipped out in a low, angry voice. “A lot he doesn’t say, a lot he doesn’t share. He didn’t let me in eight years ago and he isn’t letting me in now. And not letting me in before meant that he let me go. Do you know what that means for now? How that makes me feel? Especially now, with Tash? I’m living with a complete stranger!”
“Lily –” Laura interrupted but Lily continued, on a roll and it was difficult stopping one of Lily’s rolls.