I slid one leg, then two, off the divan, steadying myself on the arm of the chair as a few stars danced in front of my eyes.
‘But in time?’ I began.
‘Sit down. You should rest,’ he said, taking a step forward as I swayed a little.
‘But in time you could face me as you did before?’ I repeated. ‘I know we’re tied, so please say you can, for both our sakes.’
He nodded. ‘If there was ever a time for the truth, then now is it. We are bound by fate, but that does not matter because as far as I’m concerned, I chose you.’ His eyes closed and then flew open again. ‘Violet, I cannot suppress what I feel for you, but at the same time I can’t deny that I feel deceived.’
Beneath my feet, the wooden floor felt cold as I stepped off the rug and cautiously rounded the sofa.
‘I’m sorry,’ I mouthed, hating his formal tone and choice of words; wishing he would just tease me and make light of what had happened, like he had done with so many other things.
‘How long?’ he murmured. I knew what he meant.
‘Since you and your family went hunting and I was left with Fabian. He told me about how your mother died and the dates fitted. I didn’t know for sure and I was scared, Kaspar. After what everyone said … you said … I thought …’ I trailed off, not really wanting to voice what I had thought, particularly as what I had thought had so nearly happened.
I slumped against the back of the sofa for support, not daring to move any closer as the remnants of unconsciousness refused to leave. Kaspar walked forward, as slowly and deliberately as his father a few moments before.
‘Just give me time to work all this out in my mind,’ he murmured.
I shook my head, a few tears escaping from the corners of my eyes ‘I don’t think we have time.’
‘Hey, don’t cry,’ he cooed, brushing his thumb across my cheek and wiping the tears away.
I half-heartedly smiled. ‘Hey, you cried, so I’m allowed to as well.’
He mouth tugged into the half-smirk, half-smile I had seen reflected in his mother’s face and his eyes, emerald, sparkled with dry tears that could no longer fall.
‘Fuck fate, remember? Well, f**k time too.’
I chuckled and his hand enclosed my fingers, turning my palm over to reveal the locket. He didn’t question how I had acquired it back from Valerian, but took it in his own fingers and allowed it to dangle between us, the locket swaying in midair. Gently, he rested the other hand on my shoulder and twirled me around. He reached over my head, bringing the chain around my neck. I felt the coolness of the pendant, even through the material of my T-shirt. He fiddled for a moment, and then rested his hands on the back of my neck. I shuddered beneath his touch as he ran his hands across my shoulders and down my arms, tugging me until my back rested against his chest.
This isn’t fate. I chose you. I’ve made my choice.
Slowly, I turned in his arms and rested my head against his chest. He remained rigid, but gradually, his body loosened and I felt his cold breath on my hair as his head came to rest on mine. Between us, the locket lay, cold.
After a minute, I broke from our embrace and took both his hands in mine, letting his fingers slip between my own. In that moment, nothing else really seemed to matter. My heart was swelling and I was exerting huge amounts of self-control to stop myself from jumping up and down and squealing – or kissing him – but I knew he wasn’t ready for that yet. Nevertheless, I couldn’t prevent a grin from spreading onto my face as I soaked up his emerald eyes and stupid good looks.
Screw the Heroine part because damn, I am tied to this guy! Tied to him.
‘Stop looking so smug,’ he muttered, a small smirk creeping onto his lips. His words only caused my grin to widen and I bounced on my heels. ‘No, really,’ he continued, tightening his grip around my hands. ‘this is just the beginning.’
I nodded, sobering. I know that. But I also knew what I had to do, and more importantly, how to do it.
Yet there was something I did need to know. ‘Can I ask you something?’
‘You just did,’ he replied dryly.
I shot him a disapproving look. ‘I’m being serious.’ I paused, thinking of the best way to phrase my next sentence. ‘Back there, outside. You were – I mean, you just stood there. Were you going to just watch as they … killed me?’
He groaned softly. ‘I don’t—’
‘You were, weren’t you?’
He averted his eyes and stared at one of the bookshelves. His silence revealed more than a thousand words.
I wrenched my hands from his grasp. ‘How could you?’ I questioned, recoiling away in disgust.
‘I said I need time,’ he breathed, still not facing me.
I scoffed, trying to suppress the sudden wave of anger I felt surging through my veins. ‘Time? I didn’t have time back there.’ I gestured out of the partially screened window. ‘If the Sage hadn’t come at that moment I would have been your dinner, for Christ’s sake!’ My voice rose at the end and took on a screeching pitch. ‘Do you even understand what was going through my mind when I thought I was going to die?’
He took a step back. ‘And can you understand what it’s like to have a member of your family torn from you?’
I cocked my head, stunned by his insensitivity and the emotionless tone he used. ‘Yes, I do actually. Greg, remember?’
‘Well, what was I meant to do? They wouldn’t let me near you and nothing I could have said would have changed anybody’s mind.’
‘Eaglen did something!’ I hissed back.
‘Eaglen knew what you are,’ he grunted.
I felt my heart tug. ‘It shouldn’t matter who or what I am.’
With that he took off, and I followed him to his room and out onto the balcony, mutterings of his title and then mine an echo of our footsteps.
‘You might be a Heroine, but you still don’t have much choice in things. They’ll eat you alive,’ he said when I settled against the banister beside him. I shook my head, not sure of what he meant or who ‘they’ were. He took a long, slow breath and gazed out across the grounds to where the sun was beginning to lower. ‘The Sage’s orders were to take you back to Athenea for your own protection.’
Of course, I already knew that – I had eavesdropped in on Eaglen and Henry’s conversation whilst I was out cold. But I did my best to feign surprise. ‘When?’