“Don’t you mean, had?” Grace’s face was sharp with spite.
“You never liked him.” Hallie’s voice rose, hoarse through the tears. “You hate seeing me happy, because you’re too scared to ever make something happen with Theo.” She shook with anger, furious Grace could be so cruel. Furious that Dakota was gone, and she was in agony, and nobody seemed to understand.
“You don’t know how lucky you are!” she wailed. “You like him, he likes you; you could be with him anytime you want! There’s nothing keeping you apart — except you, and the fact that you’re too scared to ever go after what you want!”
“Stop it!” Grace protested, like she didn’t realize she had everything Hallie could only dream about. She was blessed!
“I’m right, aren’t I?” Hallie pushed. “There’s nothing standing in your way. You’re just too pathetic and immature to make it happen.”
“You don’t know anything!” Grace yelled fiercely.
“So give me one good reason why you can’t be together!” Hallie waited, tapping her foot in an exaggerated gesture. “Well?”
Grace was silent.
“See! You don’t have any!” Hallie was overwhelmed with the injustice of the world. She’d had her true love ripped away from her, and there Grace was, moping around like her little crush was the worst thing to ever happen to her — and all along, she could have her guy!
“Fine, take the stupid remote!” Grace suddenly hurled it at her. It flew wide, bouncing off the coffee table with a clatter. “Because everything’s always about you. You’re hurting, you’re in pain, and nobody else in the history of the world knows what that’s like!”
She stormed out, leaving Hallie alone with the low drone of the documentary narrator. How could Grace be so cruel? She’d been sarcastic, but to Hallie, it was true: the longing that ached with every breath she took, it was hers. How could anyone understand how it felt, let alone make it better? Only Dakota knew her pain, and he was gone.
Gone.
Hallie sank into the chair and began to sob.
Without school or a real job to force her out into the world, Hallie retreated into a dull haze — days slipping past in a lethargic blur as mornings in bed faded into afternoon naps that led to early nights snuggled beneath the blankets. Her bed became a sanctuary: a warm, cotton-scented retreat where she could safely spend hours daydreaming about happier days; replaying scenes of her time with Dakota over and over, as if she could conjure them back to reality by sheer force of will.
Her grand plans for Hollywood success faded; auditions passed unnoticed on her calendar. Sure, she left the house occasionally — when Amber insisted on dragging her to the salon, or Ana Lucia and Co. invited her out for lunch or to shop at glossy stores far beyond her budget — but those trips were less indulgences than trials to be endured. Hallie made conversation, and kept up the pretense that she and Dakota were still together, but in her heart, she was only waiting until she could return to the comforting folds of her duvet, and dream of the day when Dakota would come back to her, and make everything OK again.
And then Thanksgiving came.
“I have a surprise for you!” Amber beamed at Hallie, her perky smile barely visible over the feast of food spread over the table. She and Auggie had gone all out for the occasion, with streamers and lights and Pilgrim-themed decorations; tiny silver placeholders in the shape of turkeys at each setting.
“Uh-huh?” Hallie prodded her potatoes, barely mustering enthusiasm. Her mom had surfaced long enough to order Hallie dressed and out of bed for dinner, and it was all she could do to sit quietly, passing the yams, while the bustle of holiday cheer whirled on around her. Holidays should be illegal, she thought morosely; cruel and unusual punishment for those suffering from a broken heart.
“Well, for both of you girls,” Auggie added. He and Amber were resplendent in matching knit holiday sweaters adorned with tiny turkeys. “Guess!”
There was silence. Grace stayed slumped, mirroring Hallie’s pose. Since their fight, she’d barely spoken to Hallie, and although it was a welcome break from her usual orders to snap out of it and get up, Hallie still felt it was all wrong. What did Grace have to be upset about? Hallie was the one suffering here!
“Well?” Their mom prompted them, a knowing look on her face. “What do you think it is?”
“I don’t know.” Hallie shrugged. “Amber’s pregnant?”
There was a pause. Auggie and Amber looked at each other, then exploded in a chorus of laughter. “Ha!” Uncle Auggie hooted. “Are you kidding? You don’t know my girl!”
“A baby?” Amber shook with laughter. “Hollering and bawling all hours of the day? And my figure . . . ! Oh, honey, no! Marilyn and Monroe are my babies. Aren’t you, girls? Yes you are!” She scooped one off the floor and nuzzled it happily.
“Okaay.” Hallie rolled her eyes. “So what’s the big announcement?”
Amber looked up again. “Do you want to tell them?”
Uncle Auggie shook his head. “No, you do it, it was your idea.”
“But you’re the one who organized everything. . . .”
Hallie sank lower in her seat as they bickered. Who cared who said what? Who cared about the surprise at all? Unless they were going to announce that Dakota was out waiting in the kitchen with the five kinds of pumpkin pie Amber had ordered, she wasn’t interested. What could possibly matter more than the fifty-plus e-mails, thirty-two voice mails, and forty texts she’d sent Dakota since he’d left; all of them unanswered?
“. . . to New York.”
Hallie’s head jerked up at the words. “What?”
Uncle Auggie laughed. “See, I knew that would get her attention.”
Hallie looked around the table. Amber was beaming proudly, and even Grace looked perkier. “What about New York?” she asked, breathless.
“Amber’s taking you girls for a trip,” their mom explained, smiling.
“A little preholiday getaway!” Amber clapped excitedly. “We can go shopping, and to a show, and see the lights —”
Hallie leaped up and flew around the table. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she squealed, smothering Amber with a hug. “Oh, my God, this is perfect! I’ll be able to see Dakota!”
Amber laughed. “There, that smile’s what we wanted.”