Hallie’s smile slipped. She’d done her best to polish up, but weeks moping around in abject misery had clearly taken their toll on her skin tone. “Don’t worry, herbal tea is awesome for a detox,” Ana Lucia added helpfully, gesturing to the staff to drag over another chair. “By the time the band is back in town, you’ll look awesome again.”
“Or are you going out to visit?” Brie looked up from her phone. Ana Lucia brightened.
“We could all go! Like a group vacation.”
“No!” Hallie said quickly. “I mean, Dakota says they’re really focused on the music,” she explained, dismayed to find herself parroting the same weak excuses Dakota had given her. “Their manager doesn’t want them to have any distractions,” she added. “He wanted me to come out, but they laid down the law. No girlfriends. So . . .”
She trailed off, wondering if maybe there was some truth in her lie. Perhaps it was his bandmates urging Dakota to shun her; knowing his loyalties were split. Hallie frowned at the thought of it. She never had liked that AJ, with his Victorian gentleman hairstyle and suspenders — what grown man wore pomade?
“I’m sorry.” Meredith squeezed her hand, giving Hallie a sympathetic smile. “That’s the worst. You must miss him like crazy.”
“I do.” Hallie felt it, aching in every limb of her body. “I can’t bear being away from him. It feels like part of me is missing.”
The girls awwwed in unison. “So cute,” Brie murmured.
“Has Reed said anything about me?” Ana Lucia interrupted. “I mean, to Dakota. We were going to get together before they left, but things were so busy. . . .”
“I don’t think so,” Hallie said carefully. Ana Lucia’s lips tightened. “But, you know what Reed is like,” she added quickly. “He doesn’t really talk about his feelings.”
“The strong, silent type,” Meredith agreed. Ana Lucia relaxed again.
“You’re right. He wouldn’t talk about it, he’s not that kind of guy — all sappy and emotional.” She sipped her boba tea, confidence restored. “Anyway, it’s not like we’re dating or anything. You know I don’t like to be tied down.”
“That’s not what I heard.” Brie smirked.
Ana Lucia gave a tiny, satisfied shrug. “What can I say? He was older.”
They all laughed, and for a moment at least, Hallie felt her ache ease. Maybe she should just come clean. They were her friends, right? Telling the truth could even help; let her wallow in sympathy and understanding, as warm as Amber’s borrowed cashmere comforter.
Then Brie turned back to her with an expectant look. “So, tell us, how’s recording? Are the guys writing any new songs?” And Hallie knew, she couldn’t bring herself to tell the truth, and see that envy in their expressions turn to pity. Dakota was the one thing she had that these girls didn’t. And, boy, did they have everything.
“Sure.” She forced a smile — the nonchalant smile of a girl whose boyfriend loved her, and couldn’t bear to be apart — and began to tell them all about the amazing sessions the band had been recording, and how Dakota had written three new love songs, just for her. She was an actress through and through, she could play this part as long as it took, before Dakota came back to her, and the lies became real.
Because it could be true, Hallie told herself, after Ana Lucia dropped her back home. Just because he wasn’t calling, didn’t mean Dakota wasn’t going through the same agony of separation, writing tormented love songs in her honor to soothe his broken heart. She slouched through the expanse of marble flooring and tasteless art, wondering if Dakota was really pining for her the same way she missed him, a thousand miles away. He had to be! Because otherwise . . . The idea left Hallie dizzy, too much for her to even contemplate. No, he still loved her. She knew it with every fiber of her being.
Hallie found Grace in the den, curled up in what had formerly been Hallie’s own Chair of Misery, watching some boring Discovery Channel documentary about space. “Move.” Hallie nudged her knee. “It’s time for my soaps.”
Grace didn’t look away from the screen. “The TV’s taken.”
Hallie sighed tiredly. “Come on. You know I always watch now.”
“Not today. They’re running a Mysteries of the Cosmos marathon, and then five episodes of Firefly. And sit on the couch if you want,” Grace added, lips set in a determined pout. “I was here first.”
Hallie felt a burn of irritation. She’d spent the afternoon telling one painful lie after another, now all she wanted was to collapse in peace. “Why are you being like this?” she demanded. “You know I’m depressed here!”
Grace shrugged, staring back at the screen. “So? Maybe I’m depressed too.”
Hallie snorted. “Over what? Your stupid crush on Theo? Oh, no, he’s so far away in Northern California,” she mimicked. “In case you forgot, Dakota is on the other side of the country!”
“That’s how you win?” Grace was clearly unmoved. “Geographical distance. Big deal.”
Hallie gasped. So unfeeling! “What is wrong with you?” she cried. “I’ve got a broken heart. I’ve been separated from the man I love!”
Grace’s expression changed. “So you have to fall apart and mope like you always do.” She got up from the chair, jabbing a cruel finger at Hallie. “He left! So what? Get over it!”
Hallie reeled back in shock. “How can you say that? And what gives you any right to talk about love?” Hallie felt her temper rise, sharp in her chest. “I bet you’ve never even kissed a boy!”
“You don’t know anything about my life,” Grace said quietly. Her voice had a tremor to it, but Hallie was too furious to stop.
“I know that you’re a coward!” she shot back. “You sit quietly in the corner, watching life just pass you by. And then you have the nerve to judge the rest of us for actually doing something about it.”
“Oh, yeah? And what have you done?” Grace folded her arms. “Built your whole life around some guy, so you fall apart the minute he leaves? Thanks, but I’ll pass!”
Hallie felt sobs come, hot and stinging. This wasn’t fair!
“You’re just jealous.” She hurled the words at her sister. “You’re a coward, and you’re jealous because I have a real relationship.”