“So you’re the new girl I keep hearing about.” Kate drags her attention away from him long enough to fall into step beside me. “How have you been finding Stillwater?”
“Good.” I manage to smile back.
“I’m guessing the guys gave you a hard time at first, right?” She gives me a sympathetic grin, tucking hair behind her ear. “They’re a tough crowd.”
“Hey,” Ethan protests. “We were total gentleman.”
“Uh, no!” I smack him lightly. “Remember that whole ‘abandoning me in the woods at night’ thing?”
“They didn’t!” Kate groans, turning. “Guys, that’s just evil.”
“See?” I say pointedly. “And they said I was just overreacting.” I glance over at Reeve, but he’s got his fists jammed in his pockets, looking uncomfortable.
“You nearly cried,” Grady announces.
“You weren’t even there!” I protest.
Kate makes a noise of sympathy and links her arm through mine. “Don’t mind him,” she confides. “He thinks fear is, like, a show of weakness.”
“Wait up.” Ethan slows as we pass the rodeo ring. “I think some guys from school are riding this year.”
They all stop to watch, and I wander closer, glad of the distraction from Kate and Reeve. I’ve never seen one of these up close. To be honest, I’ve never really seen one at all. Earlier, I caught a glimpse of cattle being herded, and a bucking-bronco type event, but right now, a boy is racing his horse around a collection of barrels at breakneck speed. He’s dressed up for the occasion, in fancy cowboy boots and a big black hat, the metal on his horse’s gear gleaming in the sunset light. It’s hectic and fast, and I can’t help holding my breath as they hurtle around the course.
“They’re so cool!” I exclaim to Fiona as the first boy is replaced by another, this time in a bright red shirt and cream cowboy hat.
She looks at me. “I wouldn’t have thought it was your kind of thing. Isn’t it, like, cruelty to animals or something?” Fiona laughs at her own joke as the others move closer.
“What’s up?” Kate beams expectantly. I feel crummy again for wishing she was anywhere but here.
“Jenna’s into environmentalism,” Fiona explains, grinning. “She wants to protect all the innocent creatures and Mother Earth.”
Clara giggles while Kate looks at me again. “Really? That’s cool. Have you been converting these guys, too?”
“Nah.” Ethan nudges me. “She’s given up on us. We’re recycling lost causes.”
“Never mind.” Kate winks at me. “You can probably go back and plant some trees or something, balance them out.”
I laugh along, but inside, something twists. It’s all still a joke to them. “Well, what can I say?” I answer lightly, as if their teasing means nothing at all. “I know my limits.”
I stay with them, watching the next couple of competitors, until I figure I’ve left it long enough. “I’m just heading to go look . . .” I gesture vaguely in the direction of the food tent and then slip away while they’re all laughing over something together.
Wandering idly through the crowd, I try to ignore the knot behind my rib cage. They still laugh about me as the eco-girl, but it’s strange to realize that I haven’t thought about the Green Teen stuff at all for a while now. It’s not just because I’ve been obsessing over Reeve either: away from all the meetings, and social stuff with Olivia around school, the issues I spent all that time working on have kind of drifted into the background. And being here, away from my usual routines, I haven’t felt the urgency, either — that sense I always had that I should be doing something, a new project or plan to make my own small difference.
I feel a tremor of guilt. I’m not sure how I should feel about the change.
I’m surprised when Fiona finds me a few minutes later, loitering in line for another scoop of consolation ice cream.
“Hey, are you OK?” She cuts in line beside me, shooting a glare at the family behind us when they make a noise of protest.
“Sure.” I shrug. “Want rainbow topping?”
“No, I mean, about all that nature stuff.” She looks down, scuffing the dirt with her chunky black boots. “I, umm, I’m sorry about that.”
I blink.
“I didn’t think,” she continues, “if you’d take offense or anything.” To my amazement, she seems sincere.
“Oh. Well, thanks.” I pause, disconcerted. “Cone?”
“Sure.”
We head back toward the others, in time to see Kate pull Reeve into a car on the Ferris wheel. He spots me, making an awkward shrug as the attendant lowers the safety bar. Kate waves at me, and they swing up into the air. Together.
I turn back to my melting ice cream and console myself with a mouthful of sprinkles. Maybe this secrecy thing isn’t as thrilling and sneaky as I thought.
28
“Hey, Susie.” I poke my head around the door to her office on Saturday morning. “I’m just heading out for a walk, take some photos.” I brandish my bulging tote bag as evidence.
“OK, sweetie.” Susie’s sitting in a patch of sunlight by the window, rocking back and forth on an old wooden chair. She looks up from the stack of papers in her lap and gives me a warm smile. “Call and check in later.”
“Everything on schedule?” We both turn and look at the day planner pinned to the wall. Next Friday is circled in red, with big stars and arrows scribbled over the page. Opening Day. A week below it, there’s another, smaller mark I avoid staring at: the one that reads Jenna leaves in neat black print.
“I think so!” Susie nods, a now-familiar look of panic lurking in her eyes.
“OK, let me know if you want me to pick anything up.” I realize my slip as soon as I say it, but Susie doesn’t notice. She gives me another absent smile and turns back to work. I take off before anyone can stop me, bounding down the front steps and hurrying down the road until I’m out of sight, behind the curve of trees.
If I really were taking pictures all day in the woods, then I wouldn’t be able to pick anything up in town. But I’m not. As I wait on the grassy verge, Reeve’s truck comes into sight.
“Hop in!” He reaches across to open the passenger side, and I scramble up into the seat. Glancing around, he quickly leans across to kiss me. “Any trouble getting away?”