I snuggled my head into his shoulder. “So, if I was depressed again, you’d stay with me more often?”
“No,” he laughed the word out. “You’re a little suicidal for me right now.”
I slapped his chest with the back of my hand. “Wanting to share blood with you is not suicidal.”
“Oh boy.” He shook his head, still laughing. “If you only knew the truth of what you do to me with your thoughts, girl. You have no idea how close you’ve come to death, do you?”
A cold shiver raced down my spine and sent my heart back into my chest with a jump. But even after the eerie feeling subsided, the shaking remained and my teeth chattered together.
“You’re so human,” David remarked lightly, wrapping his jacket over my shoulders.
“And you’re so warm—like a human.” The heat within the leather felt like that warm spot in someone else’s bed after they get up, layered pleasantly with the scent of citrus and that woodsy smell his car had. I slipped my arms through the sleeves, then moved to sit between his legs, wrapping his arms tightly around my chest.
“Are you frightened up here?” he whispered against the back of my ear.
“The human in me is, but the girl in me, who knows how much you love her, isn’t.”
“You know I’d never let you fall, right?”
“Even if I do fall—” I yawned as I spoke, “—I know you’ll be there to catch me.” I smiled, and as I looked at the eastern horizon, a flicker of silver glittered across the night sky. “Did you see that?”
“A shooting star.” David nodded. “Make a wish.”
With my eyes closed, I crossed my heart and thought, I wish David would get the happy ending he longs for.
David held his breath, his whole body going stiff. “Why did you wish only for my happy ending?”
“Because, then I know that, even if our happy ending isn’t together, you’ll still be happy.”
He swallowed and looked away. “I thought you said you were a selfish girl.”
“I am.” I shrugged. “I didn’t wish for world peace.”
He snickered softly. “My darling, there are more than enough people in the world to wish for that. But it requires sacrifice and tolerance—not hopes and prayers.”
“Like us,” I said.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, happiness is a possibility for us—we can be together. It just means a sacrifice on one side.”
David nodded. “And tolerance on yours.”
“Tolerance?”
“Yes. For death.”
“You can’t ask a human to tolerate the death of another human. That isn’t fair.”
“But, your species kill each other all the time.”
“I don’t. Not personally.”
“Okay, well, you tolerate the death of animals for your nutrition.”
“Spoken like a vampire.” I smiled ruefully, keeping my eyes on the night sky.
“Well, my love, I am a vampire. Get used to it.” He kissed my temple.
“Bite me,” I scoffed.
“Don’t tempt me, young lady—your death wish may just become a reality.”
I rolled my eyes. “So…if you drank my blood and we made love after—I could get pregnant?”
“What?” The word burst from his lips.
“You said, when you were washing the dishes tonight, that it isn’t entirely true about not being able to have children with a vampire?”
“Oh.” He wiped his hand across his jaw, shaking his head. “Well, it’s rare. You would’ve heard of it in your much-loved mythology. The incubus and the succubus?”
“Is that real?”
“In a way. It’s not like the horror stories, though. Supposedly, the babies are mostly human—not immortal. They can survive on less blood than vampires, but still require food. I’m not sure how it works for female vampires. None of the girls I’ve ever known have fallen pregnant, but for males, we can still—you know—” he shrugged, “—we can still give life. There’s a rumour among my Set that my uncle has a son, born by a human girl.”
“Why wouldn’t you tell me about this, David?” I asked softly. “You know my desire to have children is one of the reasons I can’t promise you eternity.”
“Yes, but it’s not the only reason.” He stroked his soft cheek down mine. “I didn’t think it necessary to tell you.”
“Like so many things.” I ground my back teeth together.
“Yes. But, if you don’t ever want immortal life, then what good would it be to have a child, and have maybe five years together before you grow too old to be with a teenager?”
“It would still be better than having only a few weeks.”
“True, but after those five years, I would lose you and my children—not to mention they would one day out-age their father.”
David? Father? Of my children? I really liked the way that sounded.
“Besides, even if I was selfish enough to take those five years from you, I’d be away for the first two. I have to return to duty, and what then? You’ll be a single, teenage mother, and you may have missed your chance at love—at a normal, happy life. No.” He shook his head, tightening his hold around me. “I want you to have a good life, Amara-Rose. I want you to be mine, for all time, and I could convince you to come with me—and eventually you would. But I will not let you give up the things you want. Not while they still mean everything to you.”
“I know. I guess. It was just a shock…to find out that you can still…” I rested my hand in my lap. “I don’t know. I’m really confused.”
“Confused about what?”
“About what I should do. I want to be with you always. Not just until the winter comes. It’s not fair.”
“Life’s not fair, Ara. Haven’t you learned that by now?”
I shook my head, turning around to face him. “No, David. I refuse to believe that. Life is what you make it. Sometimes things happen that suck, but it doesn’t mean your whole life is unfair.” I shrugged and looked at the stars. “Life is just life, and sometimes you just get played a different hand to what you wanted.”
“And you don’t think that’s unfair?”
“Situations can seem unfair, but all things considering, David, we’re still alive, still breathing—not ill or starving or dying of disease. In that sense, I think we’re kinda lucky, right?”