But he had started waiting for me to get out of cross country practice so he could take me home when he wasn't working at Ruby's shop. Today, he had brought over his Calculus homework and was trying to get it done while I worked on dinner. My mom was going to be home late and dad was still at the library.
Clay tried to stifle a huge yawn. He was looking haggard today. I reached over and ruffled his hair and he smiled at me. “You look tired.” I commented. Clay rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hands and sat up straight, trying to wake himself up. “It's one of the side effects of my medication. Extreme lethargy. Sure I'm out like a brick at night. But I could probably sleep all day as well.” He looked at me as if to say, see, this is why I hate being on medication.
Wanting to change the subject, I put the vegetables I was chopping up in the pot on the stove and set it to simmer. “Come up to my room. I want to show you this dress. It's hysterical!” Clay got to his feet. He curled his arm around my waist and pulled me into his side. My breath hitched in my throat. I always got this way when he decided to be touchy feely. Which was a lot more frequently now, I noted with giddiness.
“Your bedroom, huh? You sure you want me up there?” His voice was husky and I had to stop myself from shivering. Damn straight I wanted him in my room. I wanted him in my room, naked, and in my bed, preferably.
I flushed at my rated R thoughts. I gave him a playful shove. “Just come on.” I tried to affect a playful tone and led him to the stairs. Clay had never been upstairs in my house. Maybe because having him in my bedroom felt too intimate. There was this unspoken line between Clay and I that we were both hesitant to cross.
Sure we were close; he had become one of my best friends. But it didn't stop me from lusting after him and wanting something so much more. And some instinct told me that he felt the same. Even when he could have any girl in the school, he chose to spend his time with me.
But we were still holding back. Clay was still trying to get a handle on his issues, trying to do what he needed to do to be healthy. There were days that he still fell into depressions, times he shut me out completely, even with the medicine. I had talked to him about going to see a therapist. I knew he needed more than the medicine to get a handle on things.
To say Clay was unwilling was a bit of an understatement. He had told me emphatically that he had had his fill of “head doctors” when he was hospitalized. I tried to not get frustrated with how stubborn he was about his mental health. But he was insistent, stating he knew what he needed and the meds were enough.
Though I didn't believe him, and I suspected there were still days he didn't take them. I hated not trusting him about something so important but I knew he still hid so much.
“This is your room?” He asked in surprise. “Yeah.” I said defensively. Now I remembered the other reason I had never let him up here. The excessive amount of pink left over from my childhood was more than a little humiliating.
Clay went over to my window seat and picked up Mr. Prickles, my stuffed porcupine. “Cute.” He said wryly. I grabbed Mr. Prickles from his hands and hugged him to my chest. “Don't make fun of Mr. Prickles. He is priceless.” I put the porcupine on my dresser and turned to my closet. “I wouldn't dream of making fun of Mr. Prickles.” He joked, moving to my bed.
I hadn't bothered to make it today and I was just thankful I had cleaned up my bras and panties off the floor before leaving for school that morning. “Have a seat.” I told him, a lump forming in my throat at the sight of him on my bed. Yeah, that had been a central image in a number of my fantasies lately. Though with a lot less clothing.
God, I was turning into a smut queen. Focus, Maggie! Focus!
Clay leaned back on my pillows, his eyes already looking heavy. “Show me this dress of yours.” He said drowsily. “Well, I don't want to keep you awake.” I said sarcastically. Clay took his fingers and held his eyes open. “I'm awake, I swear!” I laughed. “No need to be all Clockwork Orange about it.” I reached into my closet and pulled out the dress sheathed in a plastic covering.
“You ready for it?” Clay gave me a thumbs up. “I was born ready.” With a dramatic flourish and I pulled off the cover to reveal a bright teal, knee length dress with a huge bow in the back and one shoulder bared. The other shoulder was capped with a large white puff. Clay covered his mouth, trying not to laugh. “Seriously? You're going to wear that?” He looked at me as if I were kidding.
I snickered. “We told you that the girls wear the most horrendous dress they can find. We like to make the whole experience extremely tongue in cheek.” Clay gave in and laughed. “Well, I can't imagine anyone looking more...tongue in cheek...than you.”
I took his comment as a compliment and quickly covered the dress up again. “You should see Rachel's. It's hot pink with this slutty slit up one thigh, covered in these horrible sequins. She bought these nasty velor high heels to go with them.” Rachel and I were going to make quite a pair at the dance. The fact that we didn't take the whole thing seriously made it even more fun.
I went to sit at his feet on the bed. I shook his leg playfully. “That just means your suit had better be epic. Epically awful, that is.” Clay grinned. “I'm planning to go over the weekend. Now that I've seen your masterpiece, I know what to go for.” He let loose another mouth splitting yawn.
He patted the bed beside him. “Come lay with me, Mags. Just for a little bit.” I looked over at my alarm clock. “My dad is going to be home soon and he will flip if I have a boy in my room.” I said uneasily. I think that was a bit of an understatement, given his less than jovial feelings about Clay. But more than that I was nervous about lying down with him, being that close. I felt like such a silly girl around him sometimes.
He patted the bed again. “Just for a minute. Please. Trust me, I don't want your dad catching me up here any more than you do. I just want to hold you for a bit.” He said softly, His voice scratchy with tiredness. There he was again, tip toeing that line we had drawn in the dirt. His brown eyes were heavy and he looked at me in that way that made my knees go weak. I never had any resistance where Clay was concerned. He was everything I craved and knew I shouldn't have. But none of that mattered. Just the fact that he wanted me near him as much I did.
So I crawled up beside him and he slipped his arm underneath me, pulling me onto my side. I spooned up beside him, my head on his chest, my hand resting lightly on his stomach. My legs were suddenly tangled with his and I found myself extremely comfortable.