Stop running, girl
It won't always feel like this,
Stop running, girl
Stop running.
We could have our tomorrow
We could have our dreams,
My future is wrapped up in you,
Even as my heart bleeds.
Stop running, girl.
I've got nowhere to go.
I'll wait until forever
I promise to take this slow.
How easily we tore each other down
It's hard to take it all back
Feeding those fears and regrets,
I'm all alone in the black.
Stop running, girl.
It won't always feel like this.
Stop running, girl.
Stop running, girl!
Stop running away!
Jordan's voice rose in a scream as the tears ran uninhibited down my face. My hand throbbed from the vice grip Riley had on it. Jordan's voice trailed off as he slammed a frantic beat on his drums. The song seemed to tear his heart out and I felt my own being ripped free and flopping on the floor.
My f**king god! He'd written me a song. And what a song! All of his heart ache and grief rolled through the lyrics and I was at a complete loss. When it was over, the crowd voiced their approval. Then the band launched quickly into another song.
I was breathing heavily and I wiped at the drying tears on my face. “Shit, Mays. That was incredible,” Gracie yelled into my ear. I nodded, rubbing my nose with a napkin. Riley let go of my hand and I felt the pins and needles as circulation resumed.
“You need to talk to him. You can't leave things the way they are,” Riley urged. I didn't say anything. I couldn't argue, I couldn't agree. I couldn't freaking do anything. So I watched the rest of Generation Rejects' set and I knew my future hung in the balance.
When they were finished, the bar started to settle down. Most people left and those still there were either drunk off of their asses and waiting for a ride, or Barton employees. The band had broken down their equipment and loaded it up in Garrett's van.
They joined the group at the bar. Cole went straight to Vivian, though he stopped by me first. “Did you like the new stuff, Maysie?” he asked, winking at me. I was way too sober for this. I wished I possessed some serious liquid courage right then. But honesty was all I could give.
So, I nodded. “Yeah, it was beautiful.” Cole patted me on the back.
“It sure was,” he agreed and moved on to Vivian.
Jordan came up to the other side of the bar. There were at least a dozen people separating us. He gave Lyla a hug as she handed him a beer. He was quickly surrounded by his co-workers congratulating him on the upcoming Rejects tour and telling him how great the show was. Moore came out from the back and locked the front door, turning the little get together into a full blown party. The kitchen crew were trying to make a beer bong out of a colander and plastic tubing. Jaz and Evian were climbing up on the bar to dance to a bad cover of Britney Spears' Hit Me Baby One More Time.
Moore and Jordan were talking off to the side. The manager had clasped Jordan's shoulder and I could see Jordan smiling. God how I had missed that smile.
I was coerced into playing a rowdy game of beer pong with Rozzi, Tito and Cal. I ended up knocking over more cups of beer than actually drinking. Dina tried to talk me into going out back and sharing a joint with her but I passed.
Then the night started coming to a close. Not once did Jordan approach me. After unloading his heart in that mind blowing song, he stayed as far away from me as he could. I watched him way more than I wanted to. He had spent the rest of the night talking to his friends as well as laughing with Riley and Damien. I had no idea he had become so friendly with my best friend. She had never mentioned it. But I could see that they had become good friends. And that made me jealous. Because he and I had nothing. Not even a friendship to show for all of it.
Around two in the morning, Moore kicked everyone out. There were more than a few grumbles but everyone filed out good-naturedly, some more drunk than others. Gracie and Vivian were wasted and Cole offered to see them back to campus. Riley was heading over to Damien's place so she handed me her car keys and said she'd see me in the morning.
“Be smart, Mays. For once,” she told me shortly, her eyes darting to Jordan, who was helping Cole get Vivian in the car. I nodded and she smiled encouragingly before heading off with her boyfriend.
Garrett was trying to get Gracie to the band's van. She kept falling down, laughing and I could see he was getting annoyed. I hurried over and helped him get her up. “There you are, Maysie!” she squealed, kissing me loudly on the cheek.
“Yep, here I am,” I said, trying to haul her up to her feet.
“Jordan loves you, Maysie! No one has ever written me a song before. You are soooo lucky!” she slurred. My face flamed with embarrassment and I quickly looked over at Jordan, but he was still struggling to get Vivian situated. She was making things pretty difficult because she kept grabbing Cole around the neck and trying to pull him into the back seat with her.
Gracie rolled her head onto Garrett's shoulder. “Will you write me a song, Grady? Pretty please?” Gracie hiccupped and I grimaced. Garrett finally gave up and lifted Gracie in his arms, carrying her to the van.
“It's Garrett, sweetheart. As for the song, we'll have to see if you puke in my car first.” Gracie giggled as he got her in the back of the vehicle. He threw me a quick smile before attending to my friend.
Finally, everyone was situated and ready to go. “You coming, Jordan?” Mitch yelled from the back. Jordan hadn't looked at me once. Hell, he acted as though I wasn't even there. So I was surprised when he shook his head.
“Nah. Maysie'll give me a ride.” I will? Cole leaned out of the open window.
“Is that cool with you, Maysie?” he asked.
My eyes darted to Jordan, but his back was still to me. “Uh, yeah. That's fine. I'll see he gets home,” I said.
Cole winked at me again. “Be good you two,” he called as he drove away.
We stood silently in Barton's parking lot, watching the lights flicker out as Moore closed up. Jordan started walking toward Riley's car. “Well, let's get going,” he said indifferently.
What the hell?
I had to jog to catch up with him. He waited patiently while I unlocked the doors and he got into the passenger seat. I went around to the other side and got in. “You okay to drive?” he asked, still not freaking looking at me.
“Yeah, I'm fine,” I shot back.
“Good. I'm staying at Garrett's,” he responded shortly.
I flushed with the beginnings of my anger. What was he playing at? I hated that I couldn't read him. Not like I used to be able to. He stared resolutely out of the windshield. I put the keys in the ignition and turned the car on. I was about to put the car into reverse when his voice stopped me.