I looked up and raised my eyebrows. “Yes?” I asked less than patiently. Cyndy slid a look to Aimee who smirked.
“I didn't say anything about using the theme of time and seasons in the Knight's Tale. I think that's a little obvious for this class. You know, something you'd find in SparksNotes or something.” Aimee snickered at Cyndy's dig.
Charlie looked uncomfortable but didn't say anything. I gritted my teeth and held out my pen. “Would you prefer to write this stuff down? I mean since your ideas are so superior to mine,” I said with sarcastic politeness.
Cyndy widened her eyes in mock surprise. “I'm not trying to be rude or anything, Maysie. I mean, I know that's probably the best you can come up with. But some of us take this class seriously and would like a passing grade.” She gave me a patronizing smile.
I slowly put the pen down on my desk and folded my hands over the paper. I leveled both Cyndy and Aimee with a hard look. “Okay. It's no big mystery that you don't like me,” I began.
Cyndy peered down her nose at me. “Yeah, no mystery there,” she said condescendingly.
I cleared my throat. “Okay, let me try this again. I really don't give a f**k what you think about me. Sorry that I actually have a life that involves a bit more than sitting on my couch, eating ice cream and watching PBS while pontificating to my only friend about how morally superior I think I am. See, some of us live our lives and enjoy them. If you spent as much time actually getting to know people instead of judging them, you'd find that you're no better than anyone else. So you tell me why in the hell would I waste one second of my time worrying if two sad and lonely bitches liked me? And, let me make myself crystal clear. If you have nothing more to offer this group than your bad attitudes, then you can do Charlie and I a favor and keep your mouths shut. Because some of us would like to do our work and spend less time listening to your condescending bullshit.” I gave them both a bright smile before turning to Charlie, who sat there with his mouth hanging open.
“What are your thoughts on the themes of season and time in the Knight's Tale?” I asked him batting my eyelashes. Charlie coughed and looked over at our fellow group members who seemed taken aback. I had to suppress the urge to laugh. But that would ruin the moment, so I pretended they weren't even there.
Charlie and I opened our books to the Canterbury Tales and started going through the text as I wrote down our ideas. And after a few minutes, Cyndy and Aimee joined in. They were still cool but their scathing comments were noticeably absent. We were able to finish up the essay in record time and when we were done Aimee tapped her pencil on my desk.
I looked up at her and she gave me a small smile. “Good job,” she told me. It was on the tip of my tongue to reply with some sort of sarcastic comment, but I figured that would completely undo our tentative truce.
So I had smiled back and said “thanks.”
After that, there were no more hateful comments during the Shakespeare/Chaucer class and I felt I had won a small victory. I started walking with my head just a little bit higher. Sure it did nothing to erase the gaping hole in my chest, but I stopped feeling like such a victim. Taking a proactive stance in my life was long overdue.
“Check out the grin on your face! What's the occasion?” Vivian asked as we sat down for lunch one day in the commons.
“Nothin'. Just feeling kinda good,” I replied, sliding into my seat and opening my bottle of juice.
“Well that's a nice change,” Gracie said, stirring ranch dressing into her salad.
“You know, there's really no point in eating a salad if you're going to dump 2,000 calories on top of it,” I told her dryly.
Gracie took a huge mouth full and daintily dabbed her mouth. “Mmm. Delish,” she said after swallowing. I rolled my eyes and returned to my lunch.
“So how are things at Chi Delta?” I asked, trying to ignore the accompanying knot in my stomach.
Vivian looked at me pointedly. “Do you really care?” she asked.
I laughed. “Not really, but thought I'd ask.” I took a bite of my hamburger, ketchup oozing out of the sides, just the way I liked it. Gracie swirled her salad around in the bowl.
“Do you miss it at all?” she asked me quietly.
I took in a sharp breath. Did I miss it? Of course I did. I missed feeling like I was a part of something. I loved the community and the sisterhood. I missed having the belief that there were forty-five other girls who would have my back. Even if that had turned out to be a lie, I missed the illusion of it.
But I sure as hell didn't miss the cattiness and the back stabbing. And the hatred disguised as friendship. When I thought about it like that, the negatives far outweighed the positives. “Can't say that I do, ladies,” I answered truthfully. Gracie sighed.
“Yeah, I figured you'd say that. You know, I'm thinking about withdrawing,” she said, shocking the hell out of me. Gracie was Miss Sorority. She loved it. I couldn't imagine her not being in Chi Delta. It had come to define so much of who she was, that I worried about her should she no longer have it.
“Why would you do that?” I asked in confusion. Vivian made a noise.
“Oh please. Since you were kicked out, Gracie and I have become Chi Delta's Most Wanted. Sure, they're still nice to our faces, but Milla has made it a point to make us feel very unwelcome.” I hated this for them and it stirred up all those guilty feelings.
“I'm so sorry guys,” I told them softly. Gracie and Vivian each reached out and took one of my hands.
“Don't you dare be sorry, Mays. This whole thing has just shown me who my true friends are. I don't think I can stomach paying dues to be a part of a group that will attack and humiliate one of their own the way they did you. It doesn't sit well.” I squeezed her hand. “Plus, you're my girl. If you jump, I jump.” I laughed, a deep, from the belly laugh. Damn Gracie and her ridiculous Titanic obsession.
Vivian looked over my shoulder and froze. I looked behind me and my heart leapt up into my throat. Jordan walked in with a few of his Pi Sig brothers and got in line for his lunch.
It had been a few weeks since our messy break up and this was the first time I had seen him. It was like a fist to the gut. He looked amazing. Gone was the tired, miserable looking guy who had shown up at my apartment drunk and desperate to win me back. The man across the room looked like his old, confident and charming self.
I couldn't look away. Where he went, my eyes followed. After getting his lunch he headed toward the Pi Sig table, which was beside the normal Chi Delta table. I noticed with irritation, that Olivia and Milla were there.