“Well, let’s look for one. They’re supposed to be good luck, you know. And I don’t know about you, but I could use a little luck in my life,” I mused.
And we sat there, the night wrapping us in its safe and silent arms, watching the stars wink and shine above us. After a while, I reached over and took Flynn’s shoulders in my hands. “Keep watching the stars,” I murmured as I pulled him back onto the grass with me.
He didn’t protest. His body tensed for a moment and I thought he’d sit back up. But after a few seconds, I felt him relax. I moved as close to him as I thought he’d allow. And we continued to watch the twinkling worlds in the sky.
“I saw one!” Flynn gasped, pointing. I followed his finger but didn’t see it.
“Looks like the good luck is all on you then,” I remarked lightly. Flynn’s hand clasped mine and I hissed in a breath as he brought it up to his lips. With an excruciating slowness he kissed my knuckles. His actions timid and unsure.
My heart fluttered madly.
“Is that okay?” he asked, his breath hot on my palm.
“Yes,” I croaked.
Flynn pressed his mouth to my hand again, this time a little harder and a little longer.
“Your skin feels nice,” he said, my hand still touching his face.
“Your lips feel nice on my skin,” I breathed.
“I’ve never done this before,” he let out in a rush.
I rolled my head to the side and watched him as he continued to watch the sky and kiss my hand. “You’ve never done what?”
He carefully placed my hand on his chest. Over his heart. He turned his head to look at me. His green eyes dark in the shadows but as bright as the stars.
“Kissed a girl. Touched a girl. I’ve never done anything,” he admitted and I was more than a little shocked. Sure he was different, but that didn’t change the fact that Flynn was beautiful. There had to have been a girl at college, somewhere, who could see the amazing man he was beneath his awkward exterior.
“You’ve never kissed anyone? No one has ever touched you like this?” I asked, lifting my hand from his chest and lightly stroking my fingers down the length of his cheek.
I watched as his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down with the force of his swallow. I rested my hand at the hollow of his throat, feeling the frantic beat of his heart beneath my fingertips.
“I don’t like people touching me. It makes me feel strange. I get nervous.”
Was he telling me to stop?
I started to lift my hand but he grabbed it with a sudden aggression that startled me. He gripped my hand tightly in his. He closed his eyes, frowning as though in pain.
“I like it when you touch me,” he said in an agonized whisper.
I wriggled my fingers free and brought them back to his face. “I’ll be careful Flynn. I promise.”
I traced the curve of his lips and my breath became labored. How could just touching his mouth affect me so much?
“I know you will, Ellie. I trust you.”
That made me stop.
He trusted me.
This incredible man trusted me! Ellie McCallum. I was hateful. I was inconsiderate. I had thought nothing of making him the brunt of my juvenile cruelty. I had grown up to become a woman who cared nothing for anyone or anything. To me, people had always been disposable. No one was worth the effort it took to love and open myself up.
I was hated. I was feared. I was barely tolerated by the people I considered friends.
And yet Flynn Hendrick trusted me.
The power of those words wasn’t lost on me. He had given me something infinitely precious without even realizing it. He offered it without a second thought to who he was giving it to.
Because Flynn was pure. He was untainted. He was good.
And this man trusted me.
I slowly wrapped my hand around the side of his neck, my fingers curling up into his hair. I heard Flynn’s sharp intake of breath as I pressed myself against the length of him. Our bodies were touching from chest to toes.
My breath mingled with his and his eyes squeezed shut. I couldn’t ask him to open his eyes. As much as I wanted him to look at me, to see me, I knew instinctively that it would be too much.
“Is it alright if I kiss you, Flynn?” I asked, caressing the skin below his ear in slow, soothing circles with my thumb.
“Yes,” he let out in a voice barely loud enough for me to hear.
But I heard him. In the depths of my heart I would always be able to hear him.
I leaned in and touched his lips with mine. I didn’t move. I didn’t kiss him. I let him get used to the feel of my mouth. If he wanted to pull back, now would be the time. Before I let go and kissed him the way I wanted to.
He was breathing noisily through his nose. The air whooshed in and out so fast I was a bit worried he’d hyperventilate.
“Is this okay?” I asked, my lips brushing against his.
He didn’t answer me. He only nodded.
So I closed my eyes and pressed my mouth firmer. And then I was kissing him.
I started slow, as difficult as that was for me. Delicate pecks against his mouth as he worked out what he was supposed to do. Light caresses. Soft touches.
It felt like forever before he finally started to respond and kiss me back. His tender, innocent grazes stoked a fire inside of me that I didn’t even know existed. I tentatively licked his lower lip and he shuddered.
I licked him again, this time pressing between his lips. He clenched his teeth together as though to bar my entry. I pulled back slightly and rubbed the back of his neck.
“Please let me taste you,” I begged. If he pulled away now I didn’t know what I’d do. I’d most likely crumble into a heap of sexual frustration and never get up again.
“I want to taste you too,” he whispered and then his tongue was arching out to meet mine. I sealed my lips over his and I taught him how to kiss me like he wanted to devour.
For someone who was so new to this whole kissing thing, he picked up the basics surprisingly fast. The man was a natural. He sucked on my tongue and I couldn’t control my deep, guttural moan. I instantly froze, worried my primal response would send him scrambling.
I was pleasantly shocked when it had the opposite effect. Flynn brought his hands up and pressed his palms into my back. He dug his fingers into my flesh and I felt as though he were trying to burrow his way inside. His mouth was hot and hurried.
But I could only go so far. And I wanted to scream with the irony of that. I had finally found a man I wanted to share all of myself with but he wasn’t ready for me to do that.