Hearing those words reminded me of the shit we were in. Jendan and I were team-mates. What should have been amazing was now just bothering me with its potential for failure. Ever since I’d started the game, I’d planned on voting out my partner.
Now, Jendan was my partner. And to make matters worse, I was uncontrollably, irresistibly attracted to him. I peeked up at Jendan…and realized he was gazing back down at me in a not-entirely-platonic sort of way.
“So,” Jendan said. “Should we talk about this?”
I juggled the blanket in my arms, pretending that I was trying to keep it from skimming the ground. “It does make things a little weird, doesn’t it?”
“I can’t say I’m disappointed to have you as a partner. Not in the slightest. You’re the person I like best out here. You work hard, both in and out of challenges.” His smile curved. “At least when your foot isn’t hurting you.”
Boy, that was going to come back to haunt me, wasn’t it? I gave him a faint smile. “I’m just worried about going to Judgment. What if we go and one of us has to go home? That will be…” I swallowed. “Really bad.”
Really, really bad, because I knew it wouldn’t be me going home. And I didn’t want to do that to Jendan. I was stuck.
“We just won’t think about that,” Jendan told me. “We’ll just go into every challenge and kick ass.”
“Oh sure,” I said, unable to keep the teasing out of my voice. “Why didn’t I think of that?”
He just gave me that sexy smile that made me regret my no-romance vow.
Hard.
Blushing, I looked over at the pathetic shelter. “After we eat, we should probably work on that, right? So we have someplace warm to sleep tonight?”
“Yup.” He looked over at the shelter, then back at me again. “Are you feeling weird about the whole you-and-me thing? Being attracted to each other?”
“A little,” I confessed. “It wasn’t so bad before because it wasn’t like we were around each other constantly. But now…”
“Now it’s a little more difficult. Yeah.” Jendan thought for a moment, then pulled me against him in a one-armed hug. “We’ll just have to touch a lot so neither of us freaks when the occasional contact happens.”
That…was either the best idea in the world, or the worst. “We’re still sticking with the plan, right? Just friends until the show’s over?”
“Just friends,” Jendan agreed, and squeezed my arm again in a thoroughly platonic way that made me wish that I wasn’t so intent on sticking to my guns.
~~ *** ~~
Once we’d eaten our fill, we put the rest in our cooking pot with the lid on tightly so it would stay decent for dinner. Then, we set about to making our shelter all over again.
It was so nice to have Jendan as a partner. He worked hard, and when I made suggestions, he didn’t sneer or look at me like I was crazy. We worked together well, and by the time sunset rolled around, we had a platform a foot off of the sand and covered with a thick, slanting lean-to of palm fronds. For the floor of the shelter, we’d used the box lids and covered them with even more palm fronds, and the result was the most comfortable bed I’d had in two weeks. We crawled under the blanket, finished the last of our chicken and fruit, and then laid back and stared up at the brilliant stars overhead.
It was like an entirely new game.
Well, almost. I still had Pandora’s Box hanging over my head. And I had my attraction to Jendan that I was desperately fighting.
Even now, we laid under the blanket, our bodies so close that our thighs were touching. My hand accidentally brushed his, and then the next thing I knew, our fingers were intertwined, and we were holding hands and staring up at the sky while under a blanket, naked.
Man, I hated being platonic.
“I’m glad you’re my partner,” he murmured, and I felt his thumb caress the back of my hand. “Now we don’t have to sneak around to talk to each other any longer.”
“I’m glad too,” I lied. I was still torn about Jendan being my partner. It was like having temptation smacked right in front of my face at all times. It had been better strategically to have Kip as a partner, because I would have zero qualms about ruining his game.
I’d feel massive guilt over ruining Jendan’s game, though.
His thumb continued to slide over the back of my hand, distracting me from my dire thoughts. It felt light and ticklish, but in a good way. My ni**les reacted, hardening under the blanket and I felt my pulse begin to thrum. My body always reacted to Jendan’s nearness, but today it was impossible to ignore him. I glanced around for the cameraman, but he was nowhere to be seen. Was he on break? Out for the night?
It didn’t matter; we weren’t being watched. I could do what I wanted.
I pulled my hand from Jendan’s and rolled over on my side, facing him. His gray eyes met mine in the darkness, and we just stared at each other for a long, long moment. I knew he wasn’t reaching for me because he wouldn’t make the first move - not without getting an okay from me first.
And I wasn’t sure I wanted to make that leap yet. If I did, there was no going back.
Tentatively, I put my hand on his chest. Oh god, he was so warm. So firm. My fingertips pushed against his pectoral. “So…this is nice.”
“I’m glad you approve.”
How could I not? Jendan had lost some weight since getting on the show - we all had - and instead of looking emaciated, he just looked taut with muscle. Maybe I was biased, but I thought the man looked delicious. “Can I…explore you for a bit?”
“Of course,” he murmured, his gaze intent on me. He hadn’t moved a muscle, but I could feel the tension vibrating through his body at my touch. “I have to warn you, though, I’m not hiding anything under this blanket.”
I giggled. “No one can hide anything on this show. We’re all so very exposed.”
“Kinda glad for the blanket right now or I’d be exposing just how much I like you.”
“Oh?” My cheeks heated. “It wouldn’t be anything I haven’t seen before.”
He laughed. “Thanks for the reminder that I have a hard time controlling myself.”
I grinned, but my hand stroked over his chest, and all of my concentration went there. I looked small next to all that muscle, and it fascinated me. His skin was so warm, and after days of freezing my butt off at night, I was addicted to that warmth. I slid my hand lower and felt him suck in as my fingertips brushed down the flat length of his stomach.