Sometimes it felt like Jendan was the only person I could depend on in this game. I needed him badly, and not in that way. I just needed a friend, a friendly ear, a scheming partner…and it didn’t hurt that he was hung like a bull and sexy to boot.
No! Bad! Stop it! I told my brain. That kind of thinking just led to trouble.
~~ *** ~~
The weather the next day was ominous. Thick gray clouds covered the skies, and the wind was strong and had a bite to it. Despite the ever-present threat of rain, there was a reward challenge, and I was so sleepy from spinning thoughts of Jendan and myself locked in a torrid embrace that I’d been too pooped to give the challenge my all. I gave a little moan of distress when the team in first place — Jendan and Sunnie - won blankets and the team in second - Kissy and Rusty - won pillows.
I’d wanted those blankets. I craved warmth like Kip craved hamburgers. My little shelter sucked on most nights. It didn’t keep out rain, or sand fleas, or anything. And whatever shelter it offered was usually hogged by Kip, who refused to make his own. I ended up sleeping half on the sand in my own damn lean-to.
But if someone had to win blankets, I was happy it was Jendan. Oh, and Sunnie. The redheaded woman had freckled a ridiculous amount in the sunshine, whereas the rest of us had baked a few shades darker. She was also extremely skinny, her fake br**sts enormous on her too-lean frame. Despite my help, Jendan’s team still wasn’t eating as much as they should have.
As I went over for my daily afternoon visit, I pulled a few tapioca roots and brought them with me. They needed to eat, and if I had to go over to their camp and show them how to cook the darn things, I would.
Jendan was waiting in his usual spot, unable to stop the smile from crossing his face as he saw me. “Did you see that? We won!” He grabbed me and pulled my body against his, swinging me around in pure pleasure.
I gasped at the contact of our skin and pulled out of his arms as soon as he stopped spinning me, uncomfortable with my reaction. Why was it when he touched me, I was instantly aroused?
My body wasn’t playing fair.
Jendan took a step backward and gave me an awkward half-smile, as if acknowledging the weirdness of the skin-to-skin contact. “Sorry about that. I got carried away.”
“It’s all right,” I told him.
“Did you see us out there?” he said again, turning the conversation back to safer subjects. “We dominated!”
“I couldn’t help but see you. You were leaving me in your dust.”
He grinned, looking so boyishly handsome that my heart did a little flip. Jendan reached out and gave my arm a consoling little rub that did nothing to ease the blood pounding in my veins. “It’s only because you’re injured. You’ll get the next one.”
I shrugged, not really wanting to answer that one. Instead, I held the tapioca roots out to him. “Here. Dinner. You and Sunnie are looking too skinny. You need to keep your strength up.”
“Thanks,” he said, taking the roots from me. He didn’t look too enthusiastic, though. At my raised eyebrow, he admitted, “Sunnie and I are both having trouble choking these down.”
Maybe it was my prior time on Endurance Island, but I thought they didn’t taste all that bad. “You get used to it. Plus, it beats an empty stomach. Cheer up. We’ll probably have a food reward soon.”
He closed his eyes and tilted his head back, as if in bliss at the thought. “You know what I would love?”
“What?” I watched him, fascinated by his expressive face. God, those cheekbones. Those lips. I wished I could run my fingers over them.
“Chicken breast and broccoli.” He licked his lips.
I was fascinated by that flash of tongue…so much that I almost missed what he said. Then, I giggled. “What the f**k?”
His gray eyes opened. “What?”
I pinched his arm. “You’re supposed to be dreaming about things like pizza and hamburgers, you dweeb. Not diet food.”
He pinched my arm back, teasing me. “I like chicken and broccoli, thank you. Nothing wrong with eating healthy. What do you want?”
“Chicken fingers,” I said promptly. “Smothered in ranch dressing.”
“That’s disgusting. Ranch is for salads.” He straightened and his eyes widened. “Oh man, a nice, big chef salad with vinaigrette dressing. I’d give my right arm for that.”
“Don’t do that,” I said quickly, laughing. “You need it to jerk off.”
Jendan stopped and stared at me, all traces of playfulness gone from his sculpted features.
Whoops. “Too soon?”
He glanced around as if looking for a nearby camera (of course there was one nearby. There always was.). Then he looked back at me and stepped in, voice low. “So…I guess you saw that, huh?”
I figured I’d keep going with the light and playful tactic. “Couldn’t miss it. Nearly poked my eye out.”
“It’s just…you know. With the time on the island and stuff…”
I held up a hand. “I’ve heard it all before. Blah blah haven’t had sex in a month, blah blah would happen with any girl.” Same spiel that Kip had given me last time after we’d had sex and then he’d never called me again. I’d gotten to hear all those fabulous things on the reunion show, rather than privately from Kip.
Not that it didn’t sting to hear them again.
Jendan narrowed his eyes at me. “What are you talking about?”
I tilted my head back, looking up at him. “Excuses for your impromptu boner?”
“I have no excuse. You’re pretty and na**d and I like you. I touched you. Wood happened. I’m just embarrassed because I know you’re not into me the same way. That’s all.”
My mouth opened. Dropped a little. Closed.
Jendan thought I was pretty? The sexiest man I’d ever come into contact with thought I was attractive? Not into him? I could barely keep my hands off of him.
God, the timing was awful.
Self-consciously, I ran my fingers through my hair, knowing that it looked like a hot mess of snarls. “It’s not that I don’t like you, Jendan. It’s not like that at all. It’s just that…after last time, I vowed that I wouldn’t hook up with anyone in game. You know? I don’t want anything on camera to be misconstrued as Annabelle the Island Ho again.”
“I understand.” The look on his handsome face was so, so understanding.
“But if I wasn’t, I’d totally be kissing you right now,” I admitted. “I’ve been mentally lusting after you for a while.”