Frustration pulled me straight, and my back hit the hard bench. “It did no good. The Goddess can absorb the splintered mystics,” I said, gesturing at nothing. “What she can’t handle are those reformatted for a reality-based mind.” He looked at me, and I shrugged. “That would be me. I held them too long. They changed in order to communicate with me. It seems to be a better system than she has, and it began to cascade through her. I fled to keep her from being swamped, but this has happened before, according to her, and as soon as she gets angry enough, she’s going to hunt me down and crush me so that the mystics I’ve corrupted won’t cause her to change.” Won’t kill her, I thought, miserable.
My eyes grew warm, and I wiped them before I could cry. Silent, Trent propped his ankle up on his knee in thought. “If it’s happened before, the demons might know something about it.”
I stiffened. “I’m not calling Al. I have mystics in me! Your Goddess!” I protested, but what worried me more was that Trent and I were a couple, and Al would know that beyond a doubt. It wasn’t just that we had had sex. We were making decisions together. We were shaping the world. Damn it, we were . . . were . . .
Emotion plinked through me as Trent took my hand and leaned over the space between us. “I am not ashamed of who I love.”
My heart pounded, but there wasn’t a whisper of wild magic in him. “I’m not either,” I whispered. It was as much as I could give right now, but it was everything. “Trent . . .”
He stood, his hand slipping from mine. “It will be okay,” he said, but I couldn’t see his face, shadowed in the dark. “Al can lift them out of you. Newt was catching them in a jar, so there’s a way to contain them. He’s been in your mind before, so Al knows what’s you and what isn’t.” Trent looked past me to the turmoil in Cincinnati. “I won’t let him hurt you.”
“You can’t stop him,” I protested, heart thudding. “There’s got to be another way.”
Trent shook his head. “This is the only way.”
“Trent . . .”
“It will be okay,” he said, and my heart just about broke when he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “Algaliarept, I summon you,” he said softly, and I jerked back.
“This isn’t safe!” I protested, feeling as if the world was backward. He was summoning Al with no circle, and I was the one complaining.
“No, it isn’t.” Al’s voice rolled out of the darkness, and I stood, heart pounding.
Al was on the wide sidewalk. Behind him, Cincinnati tore herself apart, a suitable backdrop to his elegant crushed green velvet frock, walking stick, and top hat. “Al.” I begged for understanding, but I knew the demon hadn’t grasped the depth of the situation because I was still breathing.
“Help her,” Trent said simply, and by the light of the moon, I saw Al’s eyes narrow.
I flinched as Al strode forward, gripping my jaw to look into my eyes. The mystics rose up, and I frantically demanded be still, be still, be still, terrified.
“Do you realize what you have done!” Al shoved me away.
Trent lunged, catching me before I fell, and we stood before him. Al was pissed, but he still didn’t realize it all.
“Help her,” Trent repeated. “This wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t turned your back on her.”
“Do not blame this anathema on me!” Al shouted, his voice echoing back from the town houses across the park. “I said to walk away. There’s no solution here! You should have let the world go to hell!”
“They’ve become attached to her,” Trent said, because I was too scared to say it. “You’ve been in her mind. You know what is her and what isn’t. Take out what doesn’t belong.”
The top of the cane cracked as Al gripped it. “and then what?” he said, taking three steps closer. “Put them in a jar? Don’t you understand?” He dropped his head, his eyes holding hate when he looked up. “There is no Goddess!” he said, hammering the words at Trent. “There never was! These voices she says she hears . . .” Al drew back in disgust. “They’re in her head alone. She is insane!”
“Al!” I shouted when he reached for Trent, but Trent did nothing, grim faced as Al twined his gloved hand into Trent’s shirt and pulled him close.
“And you pushed her into it,” Al snarled. But then his expression went empty, and he let Trent go, backing up until he could run his eyes Trent’s full length. “You slept with her,” he said, but it wasn’t a question.
Oh God. Now it was going to get bad.
“You slept with him!” Al exclaimed, coattails furling as he spun to me. “Y-you,” he stammered, unable to find the words. “I gave you everything! And you repay me with this?”
Al recoiled when I reached for him, and my heart seemed to twist. “Al, please,” I begged. “I didn’t mean it to happen.”
Al pulled his lips from his teeth in a savage snarl. “You let it happen.”
My blood roared in my ears, and I wavered as a small band of mystics found me, bringing a vision of the church and a broken water glass, his chrysalis among the shards. “Go away. Go away!” I shouted, waving at nothing. “Go back to her. She wants you!”
But she can only go in the space between space, one thought, and the rest agreed. We like the mass that defines her better.
Al and Trent were staring at me, and I suddenly realized I had screamed it out loud.
“Please,” Trent begged.
Al turned, voice flat as he said, “It’s too late.”
“It’s not—”
“It’s too late!” Al wouldn’t look at me. His eyes were pained, and his hands in his white gloves scrubbed his face. “If she could be helped, she would have done it herself.”
Trent’s expression became hard. “You mean you can’t.”
“That’s right. I can’t.” Al looked at nothing, still not acknowledging I was standing right there. “The Goddess is a myth, a deified energy source. Voices in her head,” he said scornfully. “This is what happens when you listen to the spaces too long.” Now he looked at me, and the depth of his heartache struck me cold. “Your mind invents a reason,” he said softly. “Mystics are a fabrication to explain a disease. This is a psychosis.” Al’s eyes flicked to Trent. “Your wild magic made her insane, and you will watch her die a slow, confused, worthless death. I will have no part in it.”