For a moment I slipped back into sleep - the Temple, the man rushing towards the spear. I gritted my teeth and cried, and my mother held me as tightly as she could.
"We're safe, little one," said Joseph. "We're in the house here, we're all together, and we're safe."
The women who'd been right beside me got up. They went to see the fire. Little Salome was shrieking with excitement the way she shrieked when we played. They were all rushing back and forth, and fussing to get into the doorway to see it.
Little Symeon shouted, "The fire, the fire!"
I looked up. I could see out of the open door past them, and the very sight of the red flashing sky made me shiver. Never had I seen a sky like that. I turned and saw my uncle Cleopas stretched out against the wall, his eyes shining. He smiled at me.
"But why?" I asked. "Why are they burning Jericho?"
"And why shouldn't they?" asked Cleopas. "Let Caesar Augustus see how we despise the man who sent his soldiers to mingle our blood with our sacrifices! This word will reach Rome before Archelaus does. The flames reach farther than words."
"As if flames had the purpose of words," said my mother under her breath, but I don't think they heard her.
My cousin Silas came running into the house, crying, "It's Simon, one of Herod's own slaves. He's crowned himself King and gathered a huge force. He's lit fire to the palace!"
"You stay in this house, here!" said my uncle Alphaeus. "Where is your brother?"
But Levi was there, and when I saw his face, his expression was terrible. He was afraid, and it made me more afraid.
All the men got up and were headed out of doors to see the fire. I looked at all those black shapes against the sky, so many moving back and forth, as if everyone was dancing.
Joseph rose to his feet.
"Yeshua, you come and see this," he said.
"Oh, but why?" asked my mother. "Must he go out?"
"Come, you can look at what a band of robbers and murderers have done," said Joseph. "You can see how they run rampant to celebrate the death of Old Herod. You can see what lies beneath the surface when a King rules by cruelty and terror. Come."
"And why should they let tyrants live in luxury?" Cleopas said. "Tyrants who murder their own people? Tyrants who build theaters and circuses in Jerusalem, the Holy City itself, places no good Jew would go. And the High Priests he appoints - men he wants to advance, as if the High Priest were not the man who enters the very Holy of Holies, as if the High Priest were nothing but a paid servant."
"My brother," said my mother, "I'm going mad!"
I was shaking so hard I feared to get up, but I did get up and I took Joseph's hand.
He led me out of the house. The whole family stood on the prow of the hill, even the women except for my mother, and gathered all around were others in the night who'd spilled out of the village.
The clouds over the plain below were boiling with fire. The air was hot and cold, and people were talking loudly as they might at Festival, and the children were running in circles and dancing and rushing to look again at the fire. I huddled close to Joseph.
"He's very little still," said my mother. She stood behind me.
"He should see," said Joseph.
It was a great growing, licking blaze, and suddenly a wall of flame rose up, so fierce, and it seemed to reach for the stars of Heaven. I turned my head. I couldn't look at it. I went into wild crying. The cries came out of me like knots in a rope being pulled out one after another. Against my eyes I saw the flickering. I couldn't get away from it. The smell of the smoke filled me. My mother was trying to lift me and I didn't mean to fight her, but I was fighting her, and then Joseph had hold of me, and said my name over and over.
"We're far away from it!" he said. "We're safe from it. Listen to me!"
I couldn't stop until he crushed me against his chest, and I couldn't twist or turn there.
He walked fast with me back into the house.
I couldn't stop my cries. They hurt my chest. They hurt my heart.
We sank down on the floor, and my cousin Elizabeth took my face and held it. I saw her eyes just in front of me.
"Listen to what I say to you, my child," she said. "Stop crying. Do you think the angel of the Lord would have come to your father, Joseph, and told him to bring you home if you weren't safe? Who is to say what are the purposes of the Lord? Now, stop your cries and trust in the Lord. Lie against your mother's breast, here, and stop your crying. Let your mother hold you. You are in the hands of God."
"Angel of the Lord," I whispered. "Angel of the Lord."
"Yes," said Joseph, "and the angel of the Lord will be with us until we reach Nazareth."
My mother took me.
"We are passing through this," she said. Her voice was low and sweet in my ear. "We are passing through this, and we'll be home soon, in our own house. We will eat the figs of our own tree, and the grapes of our own garden. In our own oven we'll bake our daily bread," she said to me as we settled down beside Cleopas once again. I sobbed against her neck. She stroked my back.
"That's right," said Cleopas very near to me.
I wrapped my fingers around my mother's neck. I took deeper and deeper breaths.
"We'll be in Nazareth," said Cleopas, "and no one, I promise you, my little one, no one will ever look for you there."
I was drowsy, so very drowsy all at once. But what did he mean, Cleopas, that no one would look for me? Who was looking for me? I didn't want to sleep. I wanted to ask him what he meant by those words, look for me, who was looking for me? What did all the strange stories mean? What did it mean what my mother had said about the angel coming to her? In all this misery and woe, I had forgotten about what she'd said on the rooftop in Jerusalem, the strange words she'd spoken. And Elizabeth had just said that an angel came to Joseph. Joseph hadn't said an angel came to him.
It seemed for a moment as I was sliding deeper and deeper into sweet rest that it was all connected. I ought to make something of it. Yes! Angels. An angel had come before and an angel had come again, and an angel was here. I knew that, didn't I? No. But then I felt purely drowsy, and I felt so safe.
My mother was singing to me in Hebrew, and Cleopas was singing with her. He was better now, much better, though he still coughed. But my aunt Mary did not feel well, though no one was worried about her.
And tomorrow we would leave this terrible place. We would leave my cousins here, the strange solemn boy John, who said so little and looked at me so much, and our beloved Elizabeth, his mother, and we'd go on to the refuge of Nazareth.