Finally, we came out into the great open space inside the first court of the Temple and it seemed that everyone shouted at once.
Far, far away on either side of us were the columns of the roofed porches and in between people went on forever, and before us, there rose up high the wall of the Sanctuary. And the people on top of the roofs were so tiny that I couldn't even make out their faces so big was this holy place.
I could hear and smell the animals that were gathered at the far porches, the animals offered for sale for sacrifice, and the noise of everybody rose in my ears.
But the whole feeling of the crowd changed. Everyone was happy to be here. All the children were laughing with happiness.
The sunshine was bright as it had never been in the tight streets of the city. The air was sweet and fresh.
I heard the sound of horses, too, not the hooves, but the whinnying of horses being pulled up short, and I heard shouting.
But for the moment, I was lost in looking ahead at the shining walls in front of me that enclosed the courts of the men and the women. I was too little to be taken to the court of the men. I would be staying with the women today, I knew. But I'd be able to see the men as they were sprinkled with the first purification for Passover.
All of it was such a wonder to me, and the wonder of being inside it was beyond any words in me to describe it. I knew full well there were people around me from all over the Empire who had come to be here today and it was as wonderful as we had hoped it would be. Cleopas had lived to be here. Cleopas had lived to be purified and to eat the Passover meal with us. Maybe Cleopas would live to go home.
It was our Temple and it was God's Temple and it seemed so splendid that we could enter it and come so close to God's presence.
There were many many men running on top of the far-away porches. And men on other roofs, but they were tiny as I said, and I couldn't hear them though I knew they were shouting by the way their arms moved in the air.
Suddenly, we were pushed this way and that. I thought Joseph would fall but he didn't.
A huge cry went up from the crowd.
People broke into shouting and women screamed. I think the children were thrilled. I was still on Joseph's shoulders, and we were packed in so tight that he couldn't move.
For the first time I saw at the far left many armed soldiers on horseback coming right towards us through the crowd. We were all swept backwards as if the crowd were water and then forwards, and my mother and my aunt Mary were screaming and Little Salome was screaming and reaching out to me but we were too far apart for me to catch her hand.
Most everyone around us was shouting in Aramaic, but many were shouting in Greek.
"Get out, get out," men shouted. But there was no way to move. I could hear the bleating of the sheep suddenly, as if someone had made all the animals run. Then came the bellow of the cows or the oxen - a dreadful sound.
The soldiers were coming closer and closer to us, and they had their spears raised. There was no way to move.
Then out of nowhere stones began to fly.
Everyone was screaming. I saw one soldier struck by many stones before he fell from his horse. Hands pulled at him and he went down into the crowd. A man in a robe and mantle scrambled up on the horse and began to fight with another soldier, and the soldier stabbed the man twice in the belly with his sword. The blood just gushed out of him.
I thought my breath had stopped. It was like the kick in the belly from Eleazer. I opened my mouth but the air wouldn't come. Joseph tried to drag me down from his shoulder but the crowd was too tight for him to do it, and I didn't want to come down. Terrible as it was, I wanted to see.
Prayers rose from everywhere, but they weren't the joyful Psalms. They were cries for help, cries for deliverance. Some people were falling to the ground.
But things like this were happening on all sides. All of us went back again like a wave in the sea.
Joseph reached up, and with other hands helping him, he lifted me over his head and down, his arms around me as he dragged me through the tight squeeze of people struggling and screaming.
When my feet hit the marble, I couldn't move. Even my tunic was caught up against those in front and behind me.
"Little Salome!" I cried. "Little Salome, where are you?"
"Yeshua," she called in the Aramaic. "Reach for me."
I saw her head before me as she struggled, as if she was swimming towards me, through the bodies that closed in on her.
I pulled her right beside me and in front of Joseph, and above me I could hear Cleopas laughing. He stood in front of me and he was laughing his old laugh.
The crowd moved to the side and then forward, so that we fell. Everyone fell. Hands pulled me down, and I pulled Little Salome under me, my right hand on top of her head.
"Get on your knees and stay there!" Joseph commanded. What could we do? We were on our knees and pitched forward.
My mother's voice came up in my ear.
"My son, my son."
Joseph and Cleopas threw up their hands and prayed to the Lord. I held Salome and threw up my left hand.
"Oh Lord, you are my refuge!" Joseph cried. Cleopas said another prayer. "I stretch forth my hands to you, Oh Lord," my mother cried. Little Salome cried: "Oh Lord, deliver me!"
All around us people called on the Lord. "Let the wicked fall in their own snares," cried James right near me.
"Deliver me, Lord, deliver me, from the evil around me," I prayed, but I couldn't hear my own voice. The prayers grew louder and became like a rumbling rising so high it almost rose above the screams and cries of those who fought.
The bellowing of the oxen was terrible, and the high thin screams of the women hurt me.
I looked up, lifting my head as much as I dared, and I saw that everyone all around us was kneeling and bowing. Zebedee rose up to implore the Lord and then bowed, but he was only one of so many I couldn't count.
But people came rushing through this big sea of those who prayed, scrambling over us, pushing down on shoulders and backs as they tried to get out.
For a moment, I was crushed right to the marble tiles of the floor, slipping beside Little Salome, my hand not leaving her head.
A wild will came over me and I struggled to get up and free. I pushed and jerked to the side until I wasn't under Joseph, and I climbed to my feet as if I was running.
I saw the great big square. Far ahead of us, people ran in all directions, the sheep were running wild with quick jerky steps, and soldiers rode down on the people, and the people, even the people who knelt and bowed, rose up all over and threw stones at the soldiers.
Some groups of people were like mounds of the dead.