So did hers. "Okay," she said into his shoulder. She dragged in one more long, uncertain breath and lifted her head to look at him. "Okay. What is a binder, and why does everyone think I am one?"
"They see your energy, your Gift. I don't have that vision, so I can't say what they are seeing, but... the chameleon, Kai. You tied her to you. She asked. You didn't force her, but you... it didn't occur to me because you're so whole, but this is a thing a binder does."
She swallowed. He thought she was a binder, too. He just didn't want to. "So what is a binder?"
"A rare type of telepath who tampers with others' thoughts, binds their will. They are terribly dangerous, because so few can guard against them. Queens' law calls for... it is death to be a binder."
Kai had heard of blood running cold. She'd never experienced it until that moment, and didn't like it at all. When in fugue she could tamper with thoughts. She even wanted to, because some patterns were so sad and wrong...
"No, Kai," he said firmly, as if he were the telepath, not her. "Binders are warped. They are moral infants who understand only their own needs, their own wants. You aren't like that."
"I'm not like a regular telepath, either." Not that there was much regular about telepathy, but - oh, God. These people wanted to kill her - not for anything she'd done, but for what she might do.
She had to think. Kai squeezed her eyes closed and tried. "This examination she wants to give me... it's not a true-false quiz."
"No. It can be - almost surely will be - painful. She has entry to me because of our bond, but to find the truth of you she'll have to force her way in. If..." He ran his hands down her arms to take her hands. "If she finds what I know is true, Kai - that you don't tamper with others' will - she might not kill you."
Kai licked her lips. "I was hoping for something more certain, like she won't kill me."
"She won't," the Huntsman said matter-of-factly. "I will." He squatted beside Dell, scratching behind her ears. The big cat purred for him. "Nadrellian - no, it's Nathan now. I need to remember that. Did you know Dell was a mage's familiar?" He snorted. "Illegal in several realms, to take a chameleon for a familiar, but not a violation of Queens' law. But that's why Dell needed the connection, the communication, so much. Why she knew how to find it, too. When the power winds blew, her master... who seems to have been an idiot," he added, giving Dell's chin a good rub, "wasn't he, girl? He was killed, and she was blown here."
"The power wind blew in Dell's realm, too?" Kai asked, startled.
His eyebrows jumped in astonishment. "Everywhere, girl. The realms all shifted, so the winds blew everywhere." His voice softened in what sounded like sympathy. "I kill much cleaner than Winter does, you know."
If he meant that for comfort, he failed. She looked up at Nathan. "You said few beings can kill a hellhound. I'm guessing we've got at least two here who could manage it."
Reluctantly he nodded.
"All right, then." She straightened. "You are not to throw your life away - No, listen to me." She gripped his shoulders. "I always knew I had you for only a time. Maybe that time will turn out to be the rest of my life." The joke fell fiat. Her fingers tightened. "I don't want you dead, you hear me?"
"I hear." This smile was so sad it brought tears to her eyes. "But love doesn't give you the right to be making my decisions."
Love. This was the second time he'd spoken the word, and neither moment had been ripe for declarations. But... "I do love you. I think you know that, but just in case... I love you." She blinked quickly. Dammit, she would not cry. She didn't have time for it. "My choices seem to lie between death now and a chance that maybe none of us will die. So yes," she said, turning to the queen who waited with the stillness of ice. "Yes, you have my consent."
The queen glided up to her. "Hold her, Nathan."
"I don't need to be restrained."
"It's for your comfort, child. And his." In those silver eyes Kai saw a sadness eerily like she'd seen in Nathan's a moment ago. "I offered you a choice, but Winter's choices are always hard."
Nathan moved behind her and wrapped his arms around her. The queen placed her hands on Kai's face, one on each side, and Kai had a moment to think how normal they felt - dry and a little cooler than human, but they were just hands.
Then a scream of white sliced her open.
Kai came back to herself slowly, her head splitting, her mind wholly befuddled. Beneath her aching head, softness... ah, her mother's lap, and her mother was humming an old lullaby, one she hadn't heard in so long...
No. Not her mother. Kai's eyes opened.
She lay on the ground with her head pillowed on warm fur that rose and fell in a slow, sleeping rhythm. Dell. It was the Queen of Winter who was humming the wordless tune Sitsi Tallman Michalski used to croon to her daughter when Kai was ill or troubled by night fears.
A tune she'd stolen straight from Kai's mind. Kai started to jerk up - and fell back, groaning. Dell gave a protesting grunt.
"Shh. Give yourself a moment. The pain will fade soon." One of those deceptively normal hands reached out to stroke her temple, and the pain receded. "I would like to meet your grandfather. Perhaps Coyote will introduce us."
"I don't think..." But maybe Grandfather did know Coyote. How could she say? He didn't talk about his spirit guides. Maybe he had daily conversations with the trickster god. "I don't think he has a high opinion of Coyote," she said, amending her original thought. "Maybe you should ask Changing Woman or First Man."