She tossed her hands in the air like she really didn’t get it. “That makes no sense!”
I shook my head in disbelief. “Really? Then why did you so desperately want to hide it from Denny, huh? If it really was all so harmless and innocent, then why weren’t we open about our…relationship…to anyone?” I pointed at the closed door, behind which a hundred people were probably talking about us.
Kiera seemed taken aback by that. She didn’t have anything coherent to say, and stuttered on her words. I took her moment of confusion to press my point. “Why can’t we touch anymore? What happens to you when I touch you, Kiera?”
Her eyes widened, but she didn’t answer me. I knew I was being suggestive with my words and my tone, but I didn’t care. She needed to understand what had really been going on between us. Lying to herself about it wouldn’t help anything. Knowing it would embarrass the hell out of her, I decided to make it as blatant as I could.
Jenny had stepped away from me, and I used the freed space to run my hands over my body. “Your pulse races, your breath quickens.” Biting my lip, I started breathing heavier. “Your body trembles, your lips part, your eyes burn.” I exhaled in a soft groan, then inhaled through my teeth. Straining my voice, like I was about to come, I told her, “Your body aches…everywhere.”
Closing my eyes, I let out a low moan while I tangled one hand in my hair and ran the other up my chest. Mimicking Kiera’s face when she was desperate for me to be inside her, I swallowed and let out a carnal noise that was full of ecstasy. “Oh…God…please…” I drew out each word, punctuated each sound with aching desire. Then I ran my hands down to my pants…
That’s when Kiera interrupted the show. “Enough!” she spat out.
I knew I had her then. There was no way I hadn’t just proved my point. Opening my eyes, I stared her down. “That’s what I thought! Does that sound innocent to you? To any of you?” I looked around the room. Kiera was bright red, Jenny was pale as a ghost, and Evan was shaking his head in disgust. My eyes refocused on Kiera. “You made your choice, remember? Denny. We ended…this. You had no feelings for me. You didn’t want to be with me, but now you don’t want anyone else to be with me, right?” Furious and feeling desolate, I shook my head. “Is that what you want? For me to be completely alone?” My voice broke on the end of my question. I was so tired of being alone.
Kiera’s face tightened in anger. I was sure steam would escape from her ears if it could. “I never said that. I said if you were to see someone, I would understand…but God, Kellan, Evan’s right, show some restraint!”
Quiet fell over the room after Kiera’s pronouncement. Evan and Jenny were glaring at me, clearly on her side, so I glared right back at them. After a minute of silent staredowns, Kiera shrugged and said, “Are you trying to hurt me? Do you have something to prove?”
Irritated at what was actually a good point, I looked Kiera over. “To you…? No…nothing!” Maybe. A little.
When I stepped away from Jenny, Kiera plunged into her. Jenny had to use both hands on her shoulders to hold her back from me. “You’re not trying to purposely hurt me?”
“No.” Maybe. I don’t know anymore.
“Then what about my sister?” she snarled.
Groaning, I looked up at the ceiling. “God, not that again.” I did not want a repeat of our fight in the rain, but that seemed to be exactly where we were heading.
Kiera was pushing against Jenny so hard that Evan took a step forward to help her. But Jenny glanced his way and shook her head, so Evan backed off and let her handle it. “Yes! That! Again! You promised!” she yelled, pointing at me.
Anger filled me to the brim. She had no right to say anything about anyone I’d slept with…even if I hadn’t slept with them. “Obviously, I lied, Kiera! If you haven’t noticed, I do that!” I tossed my hands in the air in frustration. “And what does it matter anyway? She wanted me, you didn’t. What do you care if I—”
“Because you’re mine!” she screamed.
All the blood drained from my face and collected in my stomach, where it boiled and churned into something dark and furious. When the raging fire swept back up to my mouth, the words exploded from me of their own accord. “No, no I’m not! THAT’S THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT!”
Jenny scolded me and I turned my angry eyes on her. I wasn’t in the mood to be reprimanded for swearing. I wasn’t in the mood for any of this shit.
Kiera didn’t back down from my fierce words. Instead, she kept irritatingly goading me, prolonging the fight. Maybe she was enjoying this? “Is that why you did it? Is that why you slept with her, you son of a bitch? To prove a point?” She was so pissed off, her voice cracked.
I opened my mouth, but Jenny beat me to the punch. “He didn’t, Kiera.”
Turning my fury on her, I snapped, “Jenny!”
Kiera’s anger started dissipating as disbelief filled her. “What?” she asked Jenny.
Seeing Kiera was calmer, Jenny dropped her hands from her shoulders. “Kellan wasn’t the one who slept with her.”
I made a move toward Jenny, and Evan made a move too. Knowing how Evan felt about her, I backed off. He was staying out of this for now, but if I started manhandling Jenny, Evan would be all over my ass. And I didn’t feel like getting punched today. Being slapped was enough. “This doesn’t concern you, Jenny, butt out!”
Jenny looked back at me, clearly irritated. “Now it does! Why are you lying to her, Kellan? Tell her the truth! For once, tell her the truth.”
I knew Jenny knew about Griffin and Anna. Griffin had told the tale often enough that she had to have heard it. Honestly, I was surprised Kiera hadn’t yet. Maybe I should have told Kiera what had happened a long time ago, but, well, it was the only weapon I had left against her, and I was reluctant to part with it. I couldn’t speak; my mouth stayed shut and my jaw stayed clenched.
Evan and Jenny didn’t like that. Kiera either. Annoyed, she shouted, “Will someone please tell me…something?”
Jenny’s eyes shifted back to Kiera, and before she even spoke, I knew the charade was over. “Don’t you ever listen to Griffin?”
Mad that my lie was crumbling, I muttered, “No, she avoids conversations with him, if she can help it.” In a whisper, I added, “I counted on that.”
Kiera’s face scrunched in confusion, like she was having trouble connecting the dots. “Wait…Griffin? My sister slept with Griffin?” She said it like she couldn’t believe anyone would sleep with Griffin, let alone her sister.
Nodding, Jenny rolled her eyes. “He hasn’t shut up about it, Kiera. He keeps telling everyone, ‘Best “O” of my life!’” She skewed her face and stuck out her tongue, disgusted by the thought.
Annoyed by the details, annoyed by being back here, annoyed by my life, I bit out, “That’s enough, Jenny.”
Amazed by this news, Kiera shared looks with Evan and Jenny, then all eyes turned to me. “You lied to me?” Kiera whispered.
I shrugged, faking nonchalance. “You assumed. I simply…encouraged that thought.”
Her expression darkened. “You lied to me!”
“I told you, I do that!”
“Why?” she demanded.
It was a fair question, and it was one I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t even look at her anymore, for fear she’d see right through me. “Answer her, Kellan,” I heard Jenny say. I looked at her, standing between us, and she raised an eyebrow in expectation. Frowning, I stayed silent. How could I tell her? How I could I tell her anything? Opening my mouth meant opening my heart. And opening my heart meant exposing it…and she’d hurt me so much already. Another wound would kill me.
Kiera’s soft voice penetrated the silence. “The whole fight in the car…the rain…all of that started because I was so angry about you and her. Why would you let me think—”
“Why would you automatically assume—” I interrupted. She’d imagined the worst of me from the beginning of Anna’s visit. She’d never even given me a chance to be faithful to her. Not that I owed her that. She certainly wasn’t being faithful to me. Or Denny.
“She told me. Well, she made it sound like…” Her voice drifted off as her eyes closed. When she looked at me again, her eyes were soft, apologetic. “I’m sorry I assumed…but why would you let me think that for so long?”
Her face, her voice…they melted the hardness around my heart. I loved her, even now, and I owed her some sort of explanation. Hoping it didn’t hurt too badly, I confessed my sin. “I wanted to hurt you…”
“Why?” she whispered, taking a step toward me. Seeing that the storm had passed, Jenny didn’t try to hold her back, didn’t try to keep us apart.
Kiera’s question cracked my soul. Because I love you, but you don’t want me. Words failing me, I turned away from her. A soft hand touched my cheek and I closed my eyes at the warmth and tenderness there. It had been so long since she’d touched me. “Why, Kellan?” she repeated.