"He does get angry - but mostly at the Maxwells. Not usually at me."
"Well, maybe he was having a bad day - or night," she corrected.
"I don't know. I get so impatient. Having Stormy here has been so cool. I see her life like what it would have been for me if I were born a vampire. And with every passing day, I feel like I'm missing out on being that person. Only when we had this fight, I realized ... this is who I am. I am a mortal dating a vampire. And if that is all I ever am, then I am still truly blessed. I want Alexander more than I want to be a vampire."
"Does he know that?" she asked.
"Why wouldn't he?"
"He's only human..." Becky began. "I mean, I guess he's not."
We both laughed, though mine was through my pain.
"It has to be so hard to be a vampire," Becky continued. "Now that I know the truth about Alexander, it really got me thinking lately. To be goth is hard enough. But imagine being a vampire. It doesn't matter where you are - you can't really be yourself."
"That's what Alexander says."
"He should know," she said gently. "He's only protecting you, Raven. I would hope if Matt were in that position, he would want to protect me, too."
"Shouldn't Alexander be happy that I want to make the change with him?"
"I can't imagine asking Matt to change me into something I'm not. Anyway, out of all people, I thought you'd want to be yourself."
"But you know I've always wanted to be a vampire. Wouldn't you want to change into something you've always wanted to become?"
"Yes."
"I thought I could talk about this with him."
"Maybe when you are together, he doesn't want to talk," she said coyly. "Maybe he wants to turn you but wishes he didn't. And when you bring it up it only reminds him of the huge decision he will have to make someday."
"I don't want it if it's not with Alexander. Now I blew it. We can't break up." I wiped away a fresh round of tears. "I've lost everything!"
"It's okay," Becky tried to comfort me. "You aren't broken up."
"I don't know. He was really hurt."
"Let's go to his house. You can talk again, tell him how you feel. I'm sure this will all blow over in a heartbeat." Becky helped me get myself together and handed me an outfit to wear. We got into her truck, and it felt like an eternity before we pulled up to the Mansion. I imagined our conversation. I'd tell Alexander I was sorry, and he'd refuse to see me anymore or agree that it was a big mistake. I was hoping for the latter. Becky waited in her truck while I jumped out, raced up the Mansion stairs, and pounded on the serpent knocker. The ring Alexander had given me shined in the streetlight.
I'd been so foolish to question him. He was a vampire and he needed me way more than I gave him credit for, and, as usual, I had made everything about myself.
Now I was tortured, too, for my foolishness.
Jameson finally came to the door.
"Is Alexander home?"
"No, Miss Raven, he went out a few minutes ago."
"Did he say where he was going?"
"No, but he did look like he was in a hurry."
"Who's there?" I heard Stormy ask.
"It's Miss Raven." He opened the door wide enough for me to see Stormy at the bottom of the staircase. My makeup and charcoal eyeliner couldn't hide that I'd been crying.
"What's wrong?" Stormy asked. She pulled me inside.
"Oh, nothing." I tried to be strong. "Do you know where Alexander is?"
"No. He was in his room all night and wouldn't talk. Did something happen?"
"We got into a small fight."
She took me by the hand and led me into the parlor room. "Sit down," she said like a lady.
I sat down feeling awful. I didn't have control over Alexander and how he felt about me - whether I'd really pushed him too far or he just needed time to cool off. The pain of our separation was killing me.
"What happened?" she asked.
I wasn't sure what to say to his sister. She could change her mind about me and tell Alexander how he was more meant for Luna than he was for me. But I'd gotten to know Stormy so well that I really thought we'd bonded. And I was so distraught, I needed to talk to someone, and there weren't many people in tny n'his town who I could talk to about the subject of vampire bites.
"I asked him about turning me," I said. "And I think I pushed him too far."
"You should be able to talk to him about anything."
"You should be able to talk to him about anything."
"I thought so, too. But you know Alexander. He likes to be calm and rational. And I get impulsive, moody, and emotional."
"I do, too," she said.
She put her arm around me. "You have to know. It's because of you that Alexander didn't go back to Romania. It wasn't because he was mad at me because I told my parents where he was the night of the covenant ceremony. He stayed because he didn't want to leave you." I was comforted by Stormy's kind words. "Thank you," I said. "But I think I blew it, though. I'm going to have him running home now."
"He's not like that. He gets angry and broods. He's a guy, after all."
"Where could he have gone?" I asked.
"Maybe Sebastian knows." She hopped off the chair. "We'll have to find out."
I gave Stormy a big hug. "Thank you," I said. "You really are a great friend."
She appeared truly pleased by my compliment and grabbed my hand as we headed down the staircase and out the front door.
Stormy got into Becky's truck with me, and we headed to Sebastian's apartment. I hadn't been to it before but I knew where it was.
Sebastian lived in a four-family unit in downtown Dullsville next to the Sugar and Spice restaurant.
The Mustang was there - but not the Mercedes. It wasn't a good sign.
I rang the bell a million times.
"Hey, dude, lay off the bell," we heard him say into the intercom.
"It's Raven. Is Alexander with you?"
"No."
"Can we come up?"
"We? Uh... Sure."
The three of us tromped up the steps to Sebastian's door.
"Hey, ladies. What's up?" Sebastian was standing in his jeans and with his hair damp as if he'd just showered.
"Have you seen Alexander?" I asked.
"No. What's up?"
"We were just looking for him," Stormy said. "Jameson said he went out, but we don't know where."