She was going to have to try to protect Connor the best she could while, at the same time, dying a little inside.
Shaking her head, Nicole concentrated on the papers in front of her and completely ignored Griffin’s attempt at trying to soothe her. “Okay, then, first, we figure out how many men you’ll need to work the job.”
“We also have to factor in the laser alarm system, the cameras and computer equipment,” Griffin was saying, his voice crisp and cool, businesslike, as if he’d accepted that she wasn’t interested in anything more at the moment. “We’ll cooperate with the museum’s standing security, but I’ll want King equipment to bolster it.”
She looked up at him and thought again that this had become more than just an affair. This was the first time she’d ever talked numbers with a man without watching his eyes glaze over. A part of her warmed to the idea that they were working together. If things were different, they could have had a future where he came to her for help with his business. They could have, over time, developed trust and cooperation and maybe even—
His cell phone rang. Griffin glanced at the readout, and almost instantly his open features closed up tight. His eyes shut her out and he stood up as he answered.
“Brittany, hi.”
Brittany. Griffin’s voice dropped to the husky, intimate tone she knew so well and Nicole cringed a little. Oh, dear God, was she interchangeable with the other women in his life? Did he use that sexy voice on all of them? And did every woman finally imagine herself in love with him?
Probably, she acknowledged, and didn’t know whether that made her feel better or worse.
“It’s good to hear from you,” Griffin was saying as he walked a few steps across the kitchen. “Yeah, I meant to call you, but well, work’s been busy.”
Huh. He was on vacation. She guessed that was his standard line, used to put off women who got too clingy. So if she called him a few weeks from now, it would be her getting the brush-off, not poor Brittany. God, this was so embarrassing.
“Actually,” Griffin said, “I’m with my accountant right now, so it’s not a good time to…”
His accountant? Whatever else he said was lost on Nicole. That’s what she was. Some nameless grunt helping him out with a little math. If she could have, she would have found the nearest hole and crawled into it.
All of her lovely little fantasies popped like soap bubbles in her mind. Pain opened up inside her and Nicole had to force a sudden film of tears from her eyes. Here it was, she told herself. Proof that she’d made the second biggest mistake of her life.
She’d fallen for a man too much like her ex. Oh, Griffin was a better man than Connor’s father, but at the heart of it, he was no different. He wasn’t interested in commitment, and if she was dumb enough to let him know that she cared about him, she’d see pity in his eyes. That was one thing she never wanted to go through.
So she’d keep her feelings to herself. She’d go along with their affair until it was over and then she’d curl up with a gallon of ice cream and a couple bottles of wine. Until then…
“Sorry about that,” Griffin said, sitting down beside her. “Brittany’s an old friend and—”
“You don’t owe me an explanation, Griffin. I’m just the accountant.” She winced as she said it and would have slapped her own hand across her mouth if it would have called the words back. But she so didn’t want to hear him try to explain away one of his old girlfriends.
“Hey,” he said, catching her chin and turning her face toward him. “I didn’t mean—”
She pulled free, though it cost her, because she loved the feel of his hands on her. But best to get used to doing without, wasn’t it? “Doesn’t matter. Really. Let’s just finish up this proposal.”
“Right.” He watched her carefully, then said, “The proposal.”
Nicole shifted her gaze to the list in front of her and pushed her thoughts into linear compliance. Focus on the math, she told herself. Forget about fantasy. Forget about what ifs. Take what you have and make the most of it before it’s gone.
The hardest thing to admit?
She was pretty sure it was already gone.
*
The next afternoon, the kitchen phone rang, and Nicole picked it up on the run. Connor was in the backyard and she didn’t want to leave him alone for long.
“Hello?”
There was a long pause and then a familiar voice asked, “Nicole?”
She grinned. “Katie, hi. How’s the vacation going?”
“Amazing,” her best friend said, and Nicole heard the smile in her voice. “Seriously, I love Europe. We stopped in Ireland to see Jefferson and Maura and the kids, then spent a few days in Edinburgh to visit Damian and see his new club.”
“Oh, you told me it has a ghost theme. Was it great?”
“Very. And a little scary,” Katie admitted. “I think it’s actually haunted.”
A twinge of envy filled Nicole at the wonderful things her friend was seeing, experiencing. One day, she promised herself, she, too, would see the world.
“Okay, that actually sounds like fun.”
Katie laughed. “You’re braver than me, then. Anyway, after we left Damian’s we spent a few days in London and, oh, my God, Nicole, it’s just…”
Nicole sighed. “I can hear it in your voice.”
Still laughing, her friend said, “Good, because I don’t think I can describe it. Anyway, after that, we went to Switzerland and now we’re in Italy and I think I’m in love with this place. The food alone is orgasmic.”
“I’m so jealous,” Nicole said.
“I’m jealous of you.” Katie sighed. “You’re in Long Beach. As great as this trip’s been, I’m so ready to come home. Is that weird?”
“No,” Nicole said, moving to the window so she could keep an eye on Connor while she talked. She so understood Katie’s feelings.
This interlude with Griffin had been wonderful. Actually too wonderful, she admitted silently. As Katie said, it had been orgasmic. Yet as much as she hated it, she knew that going home would be best. Leaving Griffin and this idyllic time behind her. Get back to normal—though normal would be different now, too. Because after this time with Griffin, her house would feel emptier than it had. Lonelier than it had.
She sighed a little, and Katie must have heard it.
“Nicole,” she asked, “is something wrong?”