“Keira, don’t,” he whispered, his words muffled against her skin. “Don’t ask me to leave again. I’ll do anything in the world for you but that.”
She pulled her head back to look up at him, and it tore at him to see tears swimming in those brilliant green depths. This is what he’d brought her to. He’d reduced an incredibly strong woman to tears. He felt like the biggest jackass in the world.
“Nathan, I can’t do this anymore,” she said, shaking her head and squirming in his arms, trying to get free.
“Keira,” he said quickly, holding her as if his life depended on it—because it did. “Don’t cry,” he said, bending his head to kiss away her tears before saying, “I’m so sorry. I tried to tell myself I could go back to my old life. Tried to believe it. Tried to convince myself that nothing had changed and that my life could continue along as usual. Hell, I tried to drag you into my old life, thinking that having you temporarily would ease the need I feel for you.”
“Nathan—”
He moved his hands to cup her face, to stroke the pads of his thumbs across her cheeks. “But the truth is, nothing is the same for me anymore, Keira. You changed everything. I love you.”
She sucked in a gulp of air and hope lit her eyes. Nathan smiled, finally feeling hope himself. Maybe it wasn’t too late for them. Maybe he hadn’t already completely screwed it all up.
“I need you, Keira. Can’t imagine my life without you in it.” He kissed her hard, quick. “We’ll live here on the mountain if you want. Build our own place however you want it. I’ll still have to travel, but I want you to go with me—only when you want to,” he added. “It’s up to you. I won’t try to make plans without talking to you again. Won’t tell you what to do—”
She laughed at his pained expression.
“Fine, I’ll probably still tell you what to do. It’s who I am. But you’ll fight me on it because that’s who you are. And it’ll be good. Damn it, Keira, it’ll be great. We’ll be great. I need you so much. I want to show you the world. I want to give you everything you’ve ever wanted.”
He paused for breath, gave her a half smile, swallowed what was left of his pride and admitted at last, “I’m just not sure how to do it without messing it all up. I’ve never loved anyone before, Keira. And I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I don’t know what to say,” she whispered, her voice breaking.
“Say you’ll forgive me. Say you still love me,” he urged before kissing her again, this time long and hard and deep. “Say you’ll marry me, Keira.”
“Nathan…” She laughed, reached up and grabbed hold of his hands, still on her face. “I can’t believe you’re here. Can’t believe you’re saying all of this. And I do love you. So much. Of course I’ll marry you.”
“Thank God,” he said with a rush of breath. Grinning now, Nathan pulled her in close for a hug that nearly cracked her ribs. “It’s your own fault, you know,” he said, kissing her hair, resting his head atop hers. “You’re the one who wouldn’t let me stay on the outside. Now, you’re just going to have to find a way to deal with having me on the inside.”
She hugged him back, nestling in close, tucking her head beneath his chin. “I think I can handle that.”
When he pulled back and held her at arm’s length, he said, “I don’t have a ring to give you, yet. We can go now—wait. Damn it, the lodge thing. I can’t leave for a few more days.”
She laughed. It sounded wonderful to him, the sweetest music Nathan could ever remember hearing.
“I don’t need a ring right this minute,” she said.
“I need you to have one,” he told her, grinning as he suddenly saw the rest of his life stretch out in front of him, bright and beautiful. “The biggest damn diamond we can find. No, wait. Not one. Two diamonds. Or three or four. We’ll look.”
She laughed even harder and leaned into him to wrap her arms tightly around him, and Nathan sighed, completely content to stand here with her pressed against him forever. Just feeling her heart beat in tandem with his made him feel that his life was finally the way it should be.
Whispering now, he said, “I promise you, Keira, I will spend the rest of my life loving you and I will do everything I can to make you happy.”
“I’m happier now than I’ve ever been, Nathan,” she said, cuddling closer, holding him. “I will love you forever, and we’ll make each other happy. I know we will. And I swear, you’ll never be on the outside again. Neither of us will be.”
He kissed her, feeling the magic, the rightness of it, and knew that for the first time in his life, Nathan Barrister had finally found home.
At the end of the month, Keira was practically dancing in place, impatient to board Nathan’s private jet for their trip to Barbados—after a quick stop in London to visit Kelly. Before hoisting their bags, Nathan taped a note to the wall in the foyer of the lodge where his life had changed forever.
Luke,
It’s been a hell of a month. Turns out, the middle of nowhere isn’t exactly the black hole I thought it was. I hope you get as much out of your time here as I have.
Nathan
Then he left his past behind and hurried out to keep his future from breaking her leg in a fall.