“I don’t want to sound ungrateful for the ride, but I’m actually pretty worn out, Rafe. I got up early and was hoping to get to bed soon.”
“Then we will.” When he didn’t elaborate, Ari followed him into the elevator without another word, then waited while he pushed her floor’s button. He was in a strange mood that she couldn’t quite figure out. She decided it best not to push his buttons. Soon, he’d reveal whatever was on his mind.
Rafe led her straight to her bedroom, where he tossed his jacket over the back of her chair and then started pulling his tie down. When he began unbuttoning his shirt, she unfroze and closed herself in her bathroom. Still at a loss, she showered and changed, then stepped into the bedroom to find him lying in her bed shirtless with only a light blanket covering his lower half.
Since he normally didn’t stay in her bed unless it was for sex, she was baffled by his actions. He was reading one of the books that had been resting on her nightstand. He looked in no hurry at all to have sex. She was unsure whether he expected her to follow him or not — even if it was her own bed. This was all new territory for her. She stood there fidgeting for several moments.
“Join me, Ari.” The husky quality of his voice sent a shiver of anticipation down her spine. With no further thoughts, Ari floated across the room and climbed into the bed. Her stomach quivered as he reached an arm out and pulled her against his side.
When Rafe continued to read the book while holding her tightly against him, Ari didn’t know what to think or what to do.
“Relax,” he whispered. He must have felt the tension vibrating through her. Between her eventful day, and Rafe’s strange mood, Ari was exhausted. Still, though she closed her eyes, she didn’t think she’d be able to nod off. But it didn’t take long.
With Rafe holding her tight, she fell asleep with her head cradled against his chest.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Rafe looked down as Ari slept peacefully in his arms. He was letting her go; it was the right action to take. He didn’t know how he was going to do it, but as he gazed at her while she slumbered so deeply, he knew he couldn’t continue holding her against her will.
Yes, she’d chosen to stay, and she was developing feelings for him, but wasn’t it the same as a victim’s developing feelings for a captor? He couldn’t trust that what she was feeling was true, because he’d never given her the chance to refuse him.
He’d forced her hand.
Somewhere in the middle of all of this, he’d fallen for her. He didn’t even know whether he believed in love anymore, but what he felt for her went far past just sex, and far past mere affection.
He cared about how she was feeling, about what she did during each day. He wanted her to be happy. There were many emotions that he felt for Ari, and he knew he couldn’t make her do anything she didn’t want to do any longer — so he would let her go.
He promised himself just one more day. He needed the chance to say goodbye so he could move on with his life.
“Rafe?”
“I’m here.”
“What are you doing?” Through the dim light shining in through the open windows, the moonbeams lit her face just enough for him to memorize her features, and for her perhaps to see the worry he must be wearing in his eyes.
“I was just getting up. You need to go back to sleep,” he said softly as he brushed back the loose strands of her hair.
“My throat’s dry. I think I’ll get up and get a drink of water. It’s just so hard to move when I have my own personal heater.” As she spoke the words, her body edged even closer to his as her arm held on tightly to his waist.
“You stay warm underneath the blankets; I’ll get your water.” Though she groaned her disapproval, he managed to slide from the bed and walk across the room, unconcerned with his nakedness.
Stepping into the bathroom, he filled a glass, then stood there for just a moment before turning and walking back. Ari was leaning up against the headboard, the blankets pulled up high.
His first instinct was to pull them away so he could gaze upon her. After a thousand times of touching and tasting almost every inch of her ivory skin, he found that she still took the breath right from him.
Rafe handed her the glass, and then climbed back into the bed. He knew he should leave her alone, get up as he’d told her he was planning, but as she quickly snuggled against his side, he couldn’t.
If he had only one more night with her, he wanted to make it last. There was nothing wrong with that.
“You seem down. What has you so worried?” The soft sound of her voice drifted to his ears. He could hear genuine concern. But how could she care for him when he’d been nothing but an ogre with her — demanding his own needs be met while expecting her to sacrifice everything?
“Ari, I think it’s time for me to release you from our agreement.” As the words came from his mouth, he wanted to take them back, tell her he was a fool and he couldn’t let her go, but he knew it was the right thing to do. She must be free to live her life the way she was meant to live it. The way she deserved to live it.
“What are you talking about?” she barely whispered, her voice so low, he had to lean toward her to understand.
“We’ve been together past the three months we originally agreed upon. It has become clear to me that we are at the end of our journey. I’ve enjoyed my time with you, and I want to thank you for all your sacrifices, but I have to be honest, and this relationship has run its course.”
Each word he spoke pierced him as it emerged from his throat. He didn’t want to do this. What had happened to the strong, decisive man he’d been only a few months ago? Hesitation wasn’t in his makeup. He would not hesitate any more that night.
“Have I done something wrong?”
Ari’s voice was no longer a whisper, but hollow, emotionless, flat.
“No. Of course not. I’ve been quite pleased with the way our affair has played out. You’ve been one of the better mistresses I’ve had.”
Watching Ari’s body flinch at his words, Rafe berated himself for his cruelty. Why had he felt a need to say such a thing? Was it because he was hurting, and he wanted her to hurt a fraction as much? Instead, she simply sat there and spoke as if she had no feelings whatsoever.
“I understand. I think it probably best if you go home for the rest of the night. Tomorrow is Sunday, so we should talk about my employment before Monday morning. I’m sure it would be too uncomfortable for both of us to have me working in your offices.”