“You know, being a great fighter is important, but being a great person is what makes the audience love you. As long as you stay true to yourself, you’ll always have fans. Someday, you’ll inspire some kid who needs a break.”
“And I owe it all to you.”
“Hey, none of that. Why don’t you enjoy some movies and room service before you fly home?”
By the time Shane and Rafe made it back to their hotel, both of them were ready to part. Shane needed to hold Lia, assure himself that he really had the right to pull her into his arms — after making sure she didn’t bash him over the head.
Rafe didn’t know what he wanted. OK, that wasn’t entirely true — he knew what he wanted — he just didn’t know how to go about getting it.
Chapter Thirty-One
What had happened in Vegas stayed with every one of them during the trip home. But their thoughts were not the sort to be shared. Even Lia kept quiet, for once uninterested in trying to antagonize either her brother or her lover.
“What the heck happened with you and Shane? You haven’t looked at him once since we left the hotel.” Ari finally whispered when they were halfway home. Lia shook her head quellingly and looked away.
When they landed, Ari learned that Rafe’s plans for now didn’t include her.
“Ari, my father’s in town and I need to meet with him. Head back to your place. I’ll call you.” With that, Rafe led her to a waiting car, helped her inside, then shut the door.
Before this moment, Ari had hoped to have some time all to herself; she wanted to be able to sort through her thoughts and feelings about Rafe. But his manner of dismissing her so coldly and easily tore at her. He could be so caring and intense one moment and then businesslike and unfeeling the next. Now was the time to decide on her next step.
Three months had passed — her original agreement with Rafe was over, and she was living in limbo. She needed to lay it all out there, either offer up her heart or walk away and move forward with her life. But how to choose?
Ari opened the door to a condo that felt like a tomb. The silence hung heavily over her, dead, oppressive, and the familiar rooms suddenly felt airless and stale. The solitude she’d so often welcomed had become a cruel isolation, suffocating her, making her eyes sting.
Was Rafe an anchor or just a heavy weight upon her heart? Ari hoped for a chance to gauge her reaction when he next walked though her door. And so she waited. And waited.
When the ornate clock struck ten, Ari shook off her cobwebs and went off to prepare for bed. Rafe wasn’t going to join her on their first night back.
*****
“How was your trip, Rafe? You’re not usually one to take a four-day weekend to play.”
Rafe downed his double shot of scotch, then poured another.
“It was a work trip, Dad. Shane and I are partners on a hotel and casino down there, and we were able to check in on the progress.”
“If it had been a work trip, you wouldn’t have brought along the extra passengers,” Martin Palazzo said with a laugh as he sat down and waited for Rafe to join him.
Rafe had never been able to lie to his dad. Maybe his old man could actually help him. Without giving himself time to change his mind, Rafe sat down and tried to open up.
“I don’t know what to do, Father. I do care about Ari — I think you know that.” When his father remained silent, Rafe looked out the study window for a moment, and then continued. “There are things about me that you don’t know — things I’m ashamed to admit to you. But it’s how I’ve coped.”
“I know more than you realize, son. What Sharron did to you was unconscionable — she took something away that isn’t easily regained. I have waited for you to talk to me — for you to realize you were on a self-destructive path that can only end in heartache. Has that day finally arrived?”
“What do you know?” Rafe was aghast, horrified even to think about what his father might have discovered.
“I won’t go into details here, but I know you’ve been less than honorable. I know that women are little more than candy for your arm, and a warm body for your bed. You weren’t raised that way, Rafe. A woman is never to be used — never to be treated with disrespect. It’s a privilege to earn their love and a responsibility to keep it.”
“What if they don’t deserve it?” Rafe thundered, frustration making his words to his father unusually harsh.
“No woman deserves to be treated as little more than your toy. If you feel she is nothing more than a cheap hooker, where is your self-respect in spending time with her at all? And if you know she’s better than that, where is your decency? You owe it to such a woman to walk away,” Martin scolded.
Rafe knew his father was right, but to admit that would mean he’d have to let Ari go. He couldn’t do that — but he also couldn’t give her his heart. He no longer had a heart to give.
“I’m good to my women, Father,” he contended.
“You can put diamonds on their necks, but it’s little more than a leash when the gems aren’t given out of affection. You can tell yourself you treat them well, but do you really? I’ve watched you with Ari. Does she get your love — or does she simply get your body? How long do you think a woman like her will settle for less than she deserves? Even if she loves you, Rafe — and I think she does — she will eventually respect herself enough to walk away from you.”
No!
Rafe wasn’t ready for Ari to leave him — or for him to leave her. But there was really no way forward with her. A woman had held his sanity in her hand once; it wouldn’t happen to him twice.
“I can’t tell you what to do, Rafe, but you came to me wanting advice. The only wisdom I can give you is to either give her your heart — or set her free.”
Rafe slumped down in the chair, his father’s words echoing in his head. Set her free? No. She didn’t want to go. Ari had never had trouble telling him what was on her mind. Already, Rafe had bent his rules — made accommodations for her that he’d never made with any of his other mistresses.
He was in the right to keep their relationship safe — free from burdens like love and affection. Yet if he truly felt that way, why did his heart feel so hollow? Why did he want to listen to his father and run to her, tell her he cared? Was he falling in love with the woman?
If he was, it would only end tragically. She could never love him after the way he’d treated her. And if she did, she was a fool. This couldn’t end well for either of them.