‘Let’s get you back inside to chill out for a bit,’ she said to him, and the two made their way slowly back to his bedroom.
More than a hundred of Kevin’s friends, relatives and neighbours turned up for the hastily organised reception, carrying food on trays and bottles of beer, which were stored in cooling barrels of ice. A barbecue roared to life near the garages where her new father-in-law Dan was flipping burgers and turning sausages.
Jade could smell the meat cooking and listened to the chatter outside Kevin’s window.
‘Thank you,’ he muttered, his eyes closed and his breath shallow.
‘For what?’
‘For marrying me. I know how hard you found it – and I know why.’
Jade’s eyes opened wide and she tried not to panic. The last thing she wanted was to hurt Kevin, but had he guessed she was in love with his brother and not him? ‘What do you mean?’ she asked tentatively.
‘Knowing I’m your Match and that I’m not going to be here for much longer … you could have just turned your back on me and gone home. But you didn’t, so thank you.’
Jade bit her lip and squeezed Kevin’s cold hand. She knew she had done the right thing and she waited until Kevin fell asleep before going back outside to meet the guests.
It was clear that despite the remote location of the farm, Kevin and his family were well thought of by their neighbours. She was introduced to so many enthusiastic people who loved Kevin and had heard all about her. They were quick to shake her hand, to hug her or kiss her on the cheek, and offer their congratulations. But behind their smiles she knew they disguised an underlying feeling of pity for the young widow-to-be.
Mark was the only person who’d failed to approach her, yet he was also the person she had wanted to talk to the most. They had both given each other a wide berth, and the further apart they were physically, the more frustrated she became with herself for what she was feeling for him.
‘Kevin is lucky to have you, love,’ began Dan, placing his arm around Jade’s shoulder. ‘No, let me correct myself – we are so lucky to have you. I’ve never seen him happier than he’s been in the last few weeks. And I know the next few aren’t going to be easy for any of us, but they are going to be easier for Kevin knowing that you’re with him.’
Jade offered a mandatory smile and thanked Dan for his kind words, but inside she began to feel the immense weight of her actions pressing down on her shoulders and crushing her under its might. She made her excuses and worked her way through the marquee, away from everybody, where she could be alone.
She reminded herself of how, only a month ago, meeting her Match in the flesh had seemed like a pipe dream. She’d made it a reality, but somewhere along the line it had gone awry. Now she desperately wanted to gain control of the runaway train she’d found herself on, but she had no idea how. Instead, she was clinging on for dear life.
She approached the patio quietly, pleased to have some time to herself. But she wasn’t alone. Before she could see him in the dusk, she felt his presence. Immediately her pulse quickened and the fine hairs on her arms rose.
‘Hello,’ Jade began shyly.
‘Hi,’ Mark replied.
‘What are you doing out here?’
‘I needed a time out.’
‘Same here.’
‘Do you want me to go?’
‘No, no,’ she said, a little too ardently.
Jade sat in the furthest chair away from Mark, and looked out into the dusky distance. Each of them was unsure what to say next or how to break the tension.
‘It was a nice ceremony,’ Mark began. ‘I forgot what it was like to see Kevin smile that much.’
‘Yes, it was beautiful.’ She held the hand with her wedding ring finger behind her back out of view.
‘I know none of this is what you expected when you came over here, but Kevin and Mum and Dad are all glad you came.’
‘What about you?’ Jade asked, and held his gaze. ‘Are you glad I came?’
‘I’d better get back,’ Mark said abruptly, and got up from his seat.
‘Mark,’ Jade called, as he began to walk away. Her voice was impassioned. ‘What are we going to do?’
He turned his head and stared at her with such longing in his eyes that she felt like weeping for the both of them.
‘We’re not going to do anything,’ he said softly, before slowly turning his back on her and walking away.
Chapter 64
NICK
Nick was slumped on the floor of his budget hotel room in the city centre, propped up by the wardrobe and reeking of the mini-bar shots he’d single-handedly finished off. He ignored the no-smoking sign, and flicked the ash from his lit cigarette into the torn-off lid of the packet of Marlboro Lights.
The clothes he’d worn over the last three days were heaped in a bundle in the corner. The television was turned on but muted.
Since he and Sally had met almost four years ago, this had been the longest period they’d gone without talking. Even when she’d taken a detox holiday with her old university friends on the Thai coast, she’d still found a way to email him. But since Nick agreed to leave their flat by mutual consent, contact had come to a sudden halt.
Alex stood over him, and passed him a bottle of Fosters from a six-pack he’d brought. He’d used the top of the chest of drawers to prise the lid off.
‘How are you feeling about it now?’ he asked.
‘I don’t know,’ Nick replied. ‘A month ago I was planning my wedding and now I’m living in a hotel room. All I can think about is what I’ve done to Sally and how much I want to be with you. How did Mary react when you told her?’
‘She was pretty aggro … She kept telling me how much she’d given up to go to New Zealand with me and how I was breaking her heart and shitting on her from a great height. And she was bang on the money about everything. She slapped me round the face a couple of times too, told me I was a bastard and that she hated me. But I think deep down she knew it was pointless to fight. We’ve all read enough about DNA Matches to know once it’s there, it’s too powerful to beat.’
‘I think Sally feels the same, although in the end she was supportive. Doesn’t stop me feeling like crap, though.’
‘I hear you.’
They clinked their bottles together.
Alex moved to join Nick on the floor. Both men stared ahead of them at the Andy Warhol reproduction print on the wall. The artist’s impression of the tin of Campbell’s soup made Nick’s empty stomach rumble.
‘There’s something we should probably discuss,’ Alex began carefully.
‘There’s probably a lot we need to discuss.’
‘Do you want to go first?’
‘No.’
‘Neither do I, but I will,’ Alex said. ‘You and I know that at the moment, this … whatever it is …’
‘… relationship. Of sorts.’
‘That this … relationship of sorts … has a time limit. I’m booked to fly home a couple of months from now and, until my old man passes on, I don’t know when I’m coming back. If I come back at all.’
This wasn’t news to Nick but, regardless, it felt like the wind had been knocked out of his sails.
‘And if I did come back,’ Alex continued, ‘or if you came to see me, then that brings me to our next dilemma. Is it enough for us to just be together like we are now, or are we prepared to take it a step further?’